Facie’s Ramblings

When I turned 40, I don't recall feeling older. I was in pretty good shape; I ran semi-regularly (I think!). I was still swimming and doing Zumba. But I was not working full time then, so I could be at the top of my physical game. I gave up my pool membership and Zumba mid-afternoon class once I went back to work, and I run only sporadically now, mostly because I am lazy but partially because my body fights me more often than not when I attempt to. Ah, that body of mine. As I sit here and type this, I am feeling a slight pain in my left heel. It started over the weekend, and has caused me to limp since then. Today I finally called a podiatrist. But unfortunately they can't see me for 2 weeks. Back in October I had a similar pain in my right foot. By the time my appointment rolled around (actually about 2 weeks prior), the pain went away, so I canceled. Why spend the $40 specialist copay? The hub blames it on running. I don't know. I was never a hard-core runner. At the he...

Once again I have slacked off with posting. I did write about/sing the praises of RiverQuest, an educational boat ride on the North Shore, so please check that out in my previous post below! Anyway, here is what has been going on in my life since last time. J is done with 5th grade. Hooray. This was a tough year for a number of reasons. She had a lot of HW up until the end; she had only one homework-free weekend the entire year, which I disagree with. She also was no longer friends with the group of friends she had been (their friendships ended at the very end of 4th. Looking on the bright side, we saved some money by missing out on birthday invites, and I did not and will not have to worry about taking time off work to get her to various gatherings held during the week. :-)  I tell J that I went to an even smaller Catholic school and also did not have a lot of friends, but high school and college were different, each better than the previous. Things are still going well at ...

I often "mark" or delineate my life by certain points. Moving to Pittsburgh 18 years ago next month is one. Getting married, having J, and my company (old job) moving locations were others.  Five years ago last month, I was laid off. In several and great ways that marked the end of one life and the beginning of another. When I try to remember events, I often ask myself if they came before or after that. I had wanted to write a post to mark that five-year anniversary, but did not get around to it. I am quite certain I will remember that date for years to come, though that it was Friday the 13th is probably a bigger reason. Regardless, for several years, much of my blog was colored by that loss. Just a few weeks after that gut-punching, life-changing event, I was affected more profoundly by the death of two children, Kate and Peter. I have written about that over the years as well. Today marks five years since their tragic passing. I never go more than a week or so without thin...

In more than one blog post, I have talked about my failings as a parent. I don't know how specific I have gotten. But one of my failings has really come to light lately. Well, I guess it is really two related things, which can be summed up with two phrases: too much and not enough First of all, I do too much for my kid. I complain about and to J that she does little, but I never seem to follow through. For many years, she has taken her dishes to the kitchen after each meal, which was more than my brothers ever did when I was in charge of the dishes beginning in 4th grade (yes, I remember that). But that is usually where it ends. Then again, my hubby has trouble locating the dishwasher, so she may get it honestly (note that the hubby really does a lot of stuff; he just can't seem to open the dishwasher). Tonight I had her sweep the floor, and it was painful to watch. Which was exactly how it was when I asked her to do this a month ago. I guess I just don't have the patienc...

I miss the days of blogging regularly. Unfortunately, life gets in the way, and the little time I have for myself in the evening is often wasted on TV or the stupid smart phone. And it is way too annoying to bang out a post on a phone. I want to blog about my and the kid seeing the big yellow duck at the Point. I want to blog about the Pirates winning season, amazing wildcard win, and decent showing in the playoffs. I want to blog about the good things at work. I want to blog about some interesting bus tales now that I am a regular bus rider. I want to blog about my future career as a badminton player (wink, wink). I want to blog about little things that have made me happy. But despite the many good things in my life, sometimes there are things that just get me down and frustrate me. Things in life that disappoint me. Things that make me sad. Things I analyze and question over and over. Things that really concern me. Things that I wish there were easy or at least obvious answers for....

I am fairly certain at one point, I may have written a blog post with that very title. But I am not willing to take the time to find out. Because the main point of my post is that I don't have time to write blog posts anymore. And, as bad, I am missing out on reading so many of my blogging buddy's posts. I long for the days when I would have read posts from 10 blogs and then the next day I would be all, "Why can't these people write more often?!" The truth is that I could make time for this. But once I got the iPhone, the computer took a backseat. And it is fairly annoying trying to write a blog post from an iPhone. That was my last post, and it took me probably an hour. I could spend that time playing Scramble with Friends. ;-) Anyway, let me just throw out a handful or three of updates, in case any of you still happen by these parts. Work has been going pretty well. The busyness comes and goes. It should pick up soon. But overall I'm still happy there...

But this post is not going to be about my regrets; I will save those for another blog post (or maybe never). Instead, I want to come up with a list of things, on the fly, that I do not regret! Here goes, in no particularly order (because, again, these are just popping into my head): Moving to Pittsburgh. I have blogged about my love for the city (and I have complained about a number of things as well). But I am glad I live here and hope to for as long as possible.  Having a child. I debated about this for years. And I almost did not have J. But I thank God and whoever and whatever else is responsible for that (including the hubby!). Getting married. I am not going to pretend it has been easy. And there are times I just do not want to be married. But there is something about making a commitment and sharing the journey with someone else. Loving and losing in love. Heartbreak sucks, but I think it is important to go through it. Whatever doesn't kill you... Being close to my f...

Tomorrow the kid starts daycare. I am not even sure that is what it is called when your kid will be 10 in about 2.5 months and headed into fifth grade. As I said on Facebook, it has been almost five years since I had to gather up extra clothes, write my kid's name on things, etc. I am not even sure what the etc. is  because I cannot remember what you are supposed to do when you send your kid off to a child-care facility (which in this case is a church-school)! J is a little apprehensive about it, but I think she is also slightly excited (and by think, I mean hope and pray). It will be a chance to meet some new people who hopefully will be kind-hearted. We are both glad that the place provides breakfast, which means that J can sleep in an extra 10 minutes from what she did the past nine months. The place also provides lunch, most choices which she likes, which also means that she won't have to pack her lunch too often. I still am sad that she has to do this. I am sad that she ...

I am considering taking a break (again) from blogging. As I have lamented about before, I don't feel as if I can say everything I want to for various reasons (even though there are some things I really want to say and almost need to). I also am not sure too many people are reading the blog anyway (I hardly think the referring sites that I have never heard of and quite obviously seem to be spam really count). I have never wanted or needed a big following, but when only a handful of people comment on and/or send me an email about a post and I can't get off my chest what I really want to, I am not sure there is much of a point. Besides, it is not as if I have been writing often or about much anyway. So I guess I will leave you with what is happening now, some of it, unfortunately, not without angst (at a level I am willing to share). I have adjusted fairly well to working again, but I am not sure my kid has. She has been very moody and sassy lately. I have not done well in pun...

I started getting occasional bouts of insomnia when the kid was a baby. I don't recall how often my sleepless nights would occur back then, though I very vividly remember one fall night when I got up to do work. But for the past few years, I would say I have had trouble sleeping anywhere from a dozen to several dozen times a year. Typically it is stress-related, but not always. This latest wave began when I was offered the job for which I have now completed my first month. It was really bad the week before my job started and the first week of, but it has settled down since. Unfortunately, I still cannot seem to go more than four or five days without getting only a few hours of sleep in one night. The good news is that because I have been quite busy at work I don't really notice how tired I am. Surprisingly (and I hope I am not jinxing myself or tempting fate by saying this) I still can manage to react quickly in traffic, something I have to do pretty often. But there are ti...

Many people have blogged, tweeted, and commented on Facebook about the horrific bomb explosion at the Boston Marathon and the subsequent days-long manhunt, which included gunfire exchange and additional deaths. Mercifully and thankfully the tragic saga now appears to be over, at least the scariest part. Because there is so much information and misinformation out there, I won't bother to weigh in on the specifics. I don't think I can add anything new or insightful anyway. I do, however, want to respond to people who feel the word is a dangerous, sad place. You are correct; there is really no denying that the world is hardly all sunshine and lollipops. And I think I can speak for the majority of people around my age by saying that "back in the day" we did not have to worry about someone shooting up many people in a school, a movie theater, or at some event, or setting off an IED and injuring scores of people at a sporting event. (Of course I grew up in a small town,...

I am super tired after my first full workweek since just before my kid was born. (Actually, I think I had a five-day sub stint last year, but this is different.) So how did it go? I think pretty well. :-) Here are some random observations before I head to bed: The work is pretty interesting overall. The teacher in me is fascinated and challenged by the units/lessons I am reviewing, and the editor/proofreader in me is full speed ahead finding typos, wording issues, and layout inconsistencies. I am happy to say that one of the woman I have been working with told me she was really impressed with all the things I questioned/found. It is nice to be complimented during the first couple of days. The people are really nice and friendly. I have not detected any egos, just people who work together and want to help one another (and me). As I was sitting with my coworkers at lunch today, I mostly felt as if I had worked there for a long time. (I also discovered I do not care much for pan-f...

Four years and two weeks ago, I wrote a blog post that contained the good-bye email I wrote to my coworkers on the occasion of my last day of work. I was pretty proud of that note, which was quite hard to write as it reflected almost 13 years of being with one company, which is pretty rare in this century. I reread that note this morning to remind myself of what I had said, as that time feels like a lifetime ago. One sentence struck me: I am not sure where I will go from here or what I will do (although I fear cooking will be part of my immediate future), but I like to think onward and upward. I really had no idea what it was I was going to do or how long I would be without steady employment. Never did I suspect I would more or less be a SAHM who subbed and freelanced on occasion (sometimes the subbing and freelancing were often; other times I could go weeks without working). But here I am, just over four years later, getting ready to head back to steady employment. ...

No, I don't mean I need to go somewhere with the hubby. We did that not too long ago, remember? And the kid will be at grandma's again in another week, so we should get to go on another mini-date. Mini because my husband will be on call, which he is six months out of the year. And that means he cannot go far from home in case he gets a call and particularly if he has to go somewhere. Which brings me to why I need a date. Next weekend I will be meeting up with some fellow bloggers, none of whom I have met in real life and at least half of whom have blogs I have never read, for dinner. I was planning to take Jordan since a couple of the bloggers are bringing their kids. Then hubby informed me a few days ago that he looked at our calendar and saw that I had a blogger dinner, so he figured that would be a good time to send the kid to grandma's. I had reservations about taking Jordan anyway. The next oldest kid there will be four, and I was not sure how Jordan would do wit...

What do you consider a vacation? Does your trip need to be a certain number of hours or miles away? Do you need to be gone for at least three or four days for it "to count"? Or as long as you are off work or school for more than two days, is that enough of a vacation? I was a pretty spoiled child. We went to the beach for a week pretty much every year in addition to going to another place or two for a day or more. When I was in high school, my family had a house in Ocean City, Maryland, which meant several weeks at the beach. And for about a year, my family also had a house on Indian Lake (near where Flight 93 crashed), so we had many weekend getaways there as well.Yep, rough life I had. But as an adult, I never felt the need to go away every year. And once I got married, we often went several years in between "going on vacation." In fact, during our 13-plus years of marriage, the only week-long trip we have taken was to Disney for our honeymoon. It took us 10 m...

In a span of about four hours on Tuesday, I went from worrying about summer childcare for my kid and my unknown work schedule on two projects, to thinking I was going to be working from home on only one project (thus needing a lot less childcare), to finding out all my work was wrapping up due to budget issues (thus needing no childcare). Sigh. Have I mentioned recently how much I hate the economy? I just heard on the news today that the Pittsburgh Public Schools are sending out almost 300 provisional furlough notices. I know of so many people who are either looking for work or who have had to settle for something. I know even more people who have not gotten a raise in years even though the cost of living has continued to go up. When does it end? As for my situation, it is not so bad, really. I highly recommend getting laid off to anyone. Seriously. Once you have gone through that and figured out how to survive it, most work-related things that come after are not so bad. When I s...

As J and I were pulling away from after-school care on Wednesday, she pointed out something tucked underneath the passenger side wiper blade. There appeared to be two slips of paper flapping about, and, of course, my first reaction was it/they must be a parking ticket. As I was driving away, afraid to stop the car for fear of sticker shock, I tried to recall if there were street sweeping signs that I had missed. I have been working on the South Side for about six weeks, though not with much regularity until recently, so it was possible, and quite likely, that when I first started, I could have noticed a street sweeping sign, but did not pay much attention to it since I was there only about once a week. Then I thought back to how the block did seem a little less crowded that morning, so that had to be it. I spent the 10 minutes home wondering how much this ticket was going to set me back, hoping there was only one ticket, and listening to J beg me to stop so we could see what it wa...

When I lie awake at night, often post ideas swim around my head, most of which are pretty good. But when I wake up the next day (or at least when I have the time to sit down and write a post), those great ideas and half-written-in-my-head posts have disappeared. So I just thought I would throw a few things out there. I went to a fashion show today, to support J's school. Considering my near lack of fashion, it is kind of funny, but it was actually a nice time, made better by my winning a small door prize. If nothing else, I was happy to see a pair of medium-length shorts on one of the eight-grade models. Anymore, it seems as if shorts come in two sizes — an inch or two just below the butt or well below the knees, which I guess are not really shorts. Hooray for a happy medium! In case you were wondering, being out of work for three years is kind of like a lifetime. Unfortunately, those few freelance projects over the past few years as well as my share of subbing are just not the...

It is weird for me to blog so infrequently. Yet I almost (almost!) don't miss it. I started working at a company on part-time, freelance basis almost four weeks ago. Even though I have been working only about 20 hours per week, I have had to juggle some things, commute a few times (have not missed that), and send my kid to after-school care twice. When you throw in a day of subbing, no school for almost a week, plenty of Easter-related church, spending time with relatives, and everyday normal stuff, well, blogging and Facebook take a backseat. But I did want to get in a good "Let's go, Pens!" cheer as today is the official start of the tied-for-first-place most wonderful time of the year--the Penguins-included hockey playoffs (Steelers playoffs share the trophy, in case that was not clear). Here's hoping the Pens can bring home another Cup. At the very least, I want the Pens to kick the crap out of Philthy. But not literally, because you know how I am anti-v...

As I have mentioned before, I put some thought into my blog post titles. Sometimes I try to make them witty (so I like to think) or at least interesting. I read about a half dozen or so blogs on a regular basis (meaning I check them most days of the week), and I read another half dozen or so when I am willing to spend the time (probably more like once per week or less often). On top of those, I sometimes check out the blogs that other people link to. And what gets me to click on that link is an interesting (to me, anyway) post title. I don't care so much about getting a lot of people to read my blog; I write it for myself. But I am not going to lie. I find it satisfying, gratifying, something-fying when I see that people have actually stopped by to read my blog and especially to post comments, particularly when I have written something that I am hoping someone will either testify to or at least make me feel better. And I often wonder what makes those people, aside from my "reg...