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No one will call me the Cat Lady

For past couple of weeks, a few cats have been hanging around our yard. The first time I heard them, while lying in bed, I thought it was a baby crying, but found out later it was just these cats. I blame Brian for these visits; he has thrown out stale/moldy bread and the like, and I surmise these wandering cats discovered the food. Then again, I am no cat expert. My senior year of college I dated this guy Chuck, who lived with three girls and a cat they named Kitty. Kitty did not like me, regardless of how much I tried to make him/her (I cannot recall the gender); I think he was jealous. Then one fall day, when I was watching the Steelers play the Vikings at Chuck's house, Kitty jumped on my chest. I was so excited; I think my exact words were, "Kitty likes me!" Unfortunately, a few seconds after I said that, Kitty peed on me. As you can imagine, to say I did not like Kitty was an understatement. The rest of the year, whenever that cat was around, was not fun. That summe...