Facie’s Ramblings

When I worked at my last (almost full-time) job, I did not go out a lot without the kid for the mostly obvious reasons: I felt guilty missing the few waking hours I had with her, and I really just missed her. That is why while at my last job, I often talked coworker friends into two-hour lunches or leaving at 3 p.m. for early happy hour; I hardly missed any evening hours with J and I still got to have grownup fun. One would think when you have not worked regularly for over two years, the guilt of being away from your kid would lessen. But if you know me and how my mind works, you would know it really has not and it goes beyond money. At swim lessons last week, two moms and I were talking about how when our husbands spend time with the kids (or kid, in my case), although we are grateful to have that time alone, we often find ourselves missing our kids, wishing they would hurry home, or in my case, often joining in on whatever Bri and Jordan are doing. Fortunately (for lack of a bett...

When I first had Jordan, I got a lot of grief from childless people who wanted me to do what I thought were unreasonable things. From taking my baby out to a smoky bar/restaurant to meet people when she should have been down for the night. To waking up my napping toddler to drive somebody somewhere. To entertaining houseguests in my small, guestroom-less house. More often than not, I would give in, because guilt really gets to me. Other times, I would say no, but then feel bad, thinking I was abandoning people that I might not get to see for quite a few months. But in most cases, no matter what I did (or did not do), I ended up feeling resentful. Of course, when those same people had children, things were different. But yet I seem to have forgotten that before I had kids, I had no clue what was involved. I could not understand why my friends would still not go to happy hour. Why not leave the baby home with a sitter or the spouse? I did not understand sleep deprivation and would cal...

I am still in beach vacation mode. Not vacation mode, mind you, because I have been in that mode for months. But rather stuck in the lazy, really-do-nothing state that an actual, going-somewhere vacation provides. I am so glad we went to the beach and got away. Although Jordan at first thought the ocean smelled too fishy, after a day away (we stayed on the bay), she changed her mind (or maybe the air was just better). It was truly delightful to listen to and watch her scream and laugh in the waves. And it was kind of fun for me, even when a wave knocked me down. Probably my favorite part, though, was the eating. Shocking, I know. I had seafood at every dinner. It was wonderful. Crab soup, scallops, clams, crab legs, and more. I would love to eat like that once or twice a week. I can still taste all that deliciousness. And sipping a fruity drink while overlooking the pool during happy hour the first night was a perfect way to start the vacation. That hour really was happy! And, even bet...

And the "It's my birthday!" pin goes back into my jewelry box for another year. In 1996, my first year in the the 'Burgh, Lara, a college friend (wonder where she is), gave me the pin, which came attached to a birthday card, for my birthday. I have worn it every birthday since. But the emphasis I have placed on my birthday has gone down over the last six or so years. During the first few years at my current job, I would send out a staff-wide email, reminding everyone that my birthday was only one month a way. I stopped doing that probably in 2000 or 2001. Lynnie , a coworker, used to decorate my workspace with twinkling lights and other paraphernalia, but that stopped once our offices moved across a couple of rivers just before my birthday in 2002; now we put a simple "Happy Birthday" banner across each other's workspace. For my years, I gathered friends for a birthday dinner at some restaurant in the area, but that too has fallen by the wayside. Most of...

For whatever reason, I am really looking forward to Maibock (or PENNdemonium bock) at the Penn Brewery this year. Every May/June since I have lived in the Burgh, I have gone there with friends to drink of the spring beer. It started out with fellow Penn Staters/practically-my-neighbors Beer and Eric; we went there a couple of weeks after I moved here. Then in subsequent years, I ended up going with coworkers and have not stopped since (this will be year 13). I think part of the allure this year is because winter started in November and it is still not over if today's 42-degree temps are any indication. But when the Maibock is on tap, you just know that spring has finally sprung (and, some years, if you wait until June, then you can be there for the start of the four-to five-month summer in western PA). That I like a good beer only adds to the anticipation, although I cannot remember what PENNdemonium bock tasted like last year. It almost does not matter. So the countdown is on. I...