Facie’s Ramblings

Life just keeps zooming by. Not sure how it happens. Would love to slow it down (except during an awful workday or a painful conversation). But, alas, on we go. And speaking of living life, I have found a way to spend even more time on my phone (the hubby did not think that was possible). I finally replaced my iPhone 4 with an iPhone SE. It is nice to be on an operating system that came out in the current year (My 4 was still on OS 6, which was updated in 2013, just not by me). And to have actual memory on the phone (I went from 8 to 64 GB). I can have more than 12 apps! My desktop computer (on which I am typing this post) is older than a lot of grade schoolers, and I keep clinging to XP, but at least I have made technical progress somewhere! So what else? Hockey season is back. Yeah! Please just no one else hurt Sid (including Sid). The Steelers' football season kind of hit a skid with Big Ben's injury, but it ain't over yet. And Penn State beat then #2 OSU in a specta...

Today, I went to the Pitt-Penn State football game. The last time I saw Penn State in action was also the last Pitt-Penn State game, also in Pittsburgh, way back in 2000. It was and I am quite different this time. Today, two jagoffs Pitt fan did things that I find reprehensible. About 1.5 hours before kickoff, I was walking down West General Robinson Street with a ton of others. All of a sudden, when I was nearly at Art Rooney Way, some a-hole in a Pitt shirt cross-checked my shoulder so hard, I spun slightly and dropped my water bottle. I was stunned. But being the middle of a fast-moving crowd, I picked up my water bottle and continued on. There is no way he could have accidentally done it. He just looked straight ahead right after and kept going. After I recovered, I could not help wondering what kind of a person does something like that to a complete stranger, a woman especially, presumably just because I had a Penn State hat on. I guess I will never know. But I feel sorry for hi...

This evening I was trying to find a t-shirt to take to my mom's. I have a deep drawerful of shirts that I wear when I want to go extremely casual, as most of them are old, and at least a third are ill-fitting.  Since I can barely close the drawer, and I had no idea of half of what is buried there, I decided to take everything out and see what I had. Surprisingly, I had remembered almost all of them, and many brought back memories, which is unfortunate as it makes it tough to give them up. Here are some of their stories:  This is probably my oldest tee. Twenty-two years ago this past February, I stayed awake and on my feet for 48 hours (plus about 10 more before and after) for Penn State's Dance Marathon. I am proud of that feat and being a part of something that helps so many pediatric cancer patients. The hallucinations I could have done without. Regardless, I wear this tee some years during THON weekend. Depeche Mode was the first concert at the Civic Arena I went to without...

Even though things are hectic, I really enjoy this time of year. Some people are grouchier than usual, sure. I think people's driving skills seem to denigrate as well. But I tend to see the good in people and the season. I own several Santa hats--a Penn State one, a Steelers one, and a red one. I looked for a Penguins hat over the past few weeks, but no luck. Admittedly, this year I have not worn them much; I think I am still feeling my way around the job/people. But I did break down on a few occasions. First, I  wore my Steeler hat on my birthday a few weeks ago (I did not think my PSU hat would be appropriate where I work), along with a self-promoting birthday pin that I have worn for the past 17 birthdays and a bell. I took the hat off for the picture. At our building Christmas party last week, I again opted for the bell and Steeler hat. I was one of two people (out of around 50, I would guess) wearing something like that, and I was surprised there was not more festive ...

I am fairly certain at one point, I may have written a blog post with that very title. But I am not willing to take the time to find out. Because the main point of my post is that I don't have time to write blog posts anymore. And, as bad, I am missing out on reading so many of my blogging buddy's posts. I long for the days when I would have read posts from 10 blogs and then the next day I would be all, "Why can't these people write more often?!" The truth is that I could make time for this. But once I got the iPhone, the computer took a backseat. And it is fairly annoying trying to write a blog post from an iPhone. That was my last post, and it took me probably an hour. I could spend that time playing Scramble with Friends. ;-) Anyway, let me just throw out a handful or three of updates, in case any of you still happen by these parts. Work has been going pretty well. The busyness comes and goes. It should pick up soon. But overall I'm still happy there...

But this post is not going to be about my regrets; I will save those for another blog post (or maybe never). Instead, I want to come up with a list of things, on the fly, that I do not regret! Here goes, in no particularly order (because, again, these are just popping into my head): Moving to Pittsburgh. I have blogged about my love for the city (and I have complained about a number of things as well). But I am glad I live here and hope to for as long as possible.  Having a child. I debated about this for years. And I almost did not have J. But I thank God and whoever and whatever else is responsible for that (including the hubby!). Getting married. I am not going to pretend it has been easy. And there are times I just do not want to be married. But there is something about making a commitment and sharing the journey with someone else. Loving and losing in love. Heartbreak sucks, but I think it is important to go through it. Whatever doesn't kill you... Being close to my f...

I have written about my love for Pittsburgh before. In fact, a Pittsburgh blog picked up a post I wrote a few years ago, which was the first time anything like that had ever happened to me. I am purposefully not going to find that post; I want to write a new love letter to the city I have had long-term relationship with. The impetus: Momalom , a blog written by two sisters who have six children between them (the blog is in my Blog List at right). My dearest Pittsburgh, I have loved you since I was a child, living two counties away. Back then you were many things to me: trips to the Buhl Planetarium, a ride on the incline or one of the Gateway Clipper boats, a chance to be on KDKA radio and visit Santa at Horne's during the holidays, the Ice Capades and an occasional child-friendly concert, a show at Heinz Hall and later the Benedum, the arts festival and regatta, and, pretty important to my family, the home of the Pittsburgh Steelers. In 1984, we had season tickets to see the...

For some people, 2012 was really awful. For others, 2012 brought many blessings. For me, 2012 was pretty good and mostly uneventful; there is not any one particular things that stands out for me. I had a short-term job for almost three months. But, much like my last steady/regular job, it seems like almost a lifetime ago. I also did some freelance work for the company where I used to work, and at times, I kind of felt as if I still worked there. And of course there was subbing. I won't even venture a guess as to what 2013 has in store for me job-wise. I am, however, pretty worried about my impending 2012 tax bill. Our run of getting a nice chunk of change back and putting it toward home improvement is over, at least for this year. I just hope we (I) don't owe too much money... I ran, swam, and did Zumba, but did not set the world on fire in any of those areas. Of course, I ran in the Race for Pace 5k and earned a third place medal ( albeit several weeks after the fact ), so...

One of my favorite TV lines, from one of my all-time favorite TV shows (Friends), is Ross's whiny but emphatic "But we were on a break!" Blog readers, a break is just what I am going to go on. I have no idea how long this break will last. Chances are good that something (probably Penn State-related) will come up that will lure me back to this place before too long. But my goal is to step away for awhile. This blog has helped me work through some things. This blog has let me capture some of life's events. This blog has also allowed me to get to know people. But lately I have just not been feeling it. I want to be able to say and share more, but I can't, mostly because I keep hearing my mother warning me to stop posting so much about my life. And I am trying so hard not to be negative and judgmental, but blogs seem to bring those very things out. So I bid you adieu for now, on Sidney Crosby's birthday (happy 25th!). And in case I am not back for awhi...

Once again, I started to write another post. On one of my favorite topics as of late: Penn State. I wrote an even better one in my head last night when I was trying to fall asleep. But in the light of the day (which is actually the dusk of the evening now), I cannot remember it. Since I still have so many thoughts swirling around my head about this whole hideous mess, I want to instead come up with a list of some memorable Penn State moments. I feel for the victims. I truly do. And I am saddened that people lied and covered things up. But I am not sorry that I went to Dear Old State. Anyway, here goes nothing, in no particular order. It won't mean a whole heckuva lot to most of you, but it sure means something to me. I remember... Having mono, going home for something like 10 days, and then getting on the Loop bus back to my dorm only to be greeted by several of my friends who were riding around the bus waiting for my return. Signing up for astronomy because I thought i...

By now I should be tired of all the negative political ads that I am being bombarded with. But because Penn State continues to remain at the forefront of local and, to a lesser extent, national news (Paternoville is now Nittanyville! Take the statue down! Camp out to defend the statue! The Paternos are conducting their own investigation! The Freeh Report is biased! Joe Paterno is a child rape enabler!), the ads are not affected me as negatively as they have in the past. Yet. I read yesterday that Romney is outspending Obama. I was extremely surprised at this nugget. I would have put the ratio of Obama to Romney ads at about 4 to 1 in western PA, which would lead me to conclude the opposite. Because isn't PA supposed to be a battleground state? If so, why is it that it appears I am seeing mostly the mud-slinging by Obama's camp? Maybe this just occurs on the stations I am watching, but if any of you is seeing a lot of Romney ads, I would love to hear. But speaking of mud-sli...

I spent almost three hours last evening reading the Freeh report. Hubby asked why I would waste my time doing so, and I said that as a Penn Stater and someone who has given Paterno the benefit of the doubt, I needed to read it. Too many people were commenting in various places without having read more than the press release or parroting what others have said, and I didn't want to be one of those people. Unfortunately, I am one of those people who are having trouble putting all my thoughts and opinions into coherent statements. In fact, I have edited and pretty much changed this post three times. What follows is rambling and disjointed, which is due in no small part to my difficulty in wrapping my head around so much information and trying to reconcile that with my wanting to think the best about people. :-( Do I feel differently since yesterday, when based on the press release and some of what I had read, it appeared that JoePa knew more than he let on? Not a lot. In fact, he and...

I am currently about a 1/3 of the way through the Freeh Report, the investigation about what Penn State did and did not do in regards to the Sandusky nightmare. As you can imagine, I am most concerned with JoePa's role, having greatly admired him. I wanted to wait until I had read the entire report, which I plan to do this evening, but even without yet doing so, I wanted to share some opinions I have formed so far, pretty much off the cuff. Joe Paterno is not looking as good as many of his followers (including me) had hoped he would. It seems pretty clear that he (and former President Spanier) knew about the 1998 shower/bear-hugging incident, something he/they denied before, which makes his/their actions (or inaction) regarding the 2001 shower incident all the more troubling. I did, however, feel slightly better knowing that JoePa told Sandusky he was never going to be coach before the 1998 shower incident occurred. People have speculated it was the other way around. What I a...

Ever since J was a toddler, we (or at least I) have been taking her to the Pittsburgh Zoo. Once or twice, we went when it was free (thank you, RAD). Mostly, we would go with the Pittsburgh chapter of the Penn State Alumni Association. And the past two years, J and I went during the week when the Penn State College of Education sponsored a day at the Zoo, most recently last week. I love our zoo! I cannot say that enough. I could spend all day there, but unfortunately, we seem to end up going on days when it is near or over 90 degrees. Still, I have never had anything less than a great time there. As creatures of habit, we always start out clockwise with the tigers and leopards. When it is hot, those guys and gals aren't too exciting, so we tend to see them (if they are not hidden) and quickly move on. I like to spend a few minutes looking at the flamingos because they are so pretty.  I am not too enthralled with the rhino, but I still manage to get a pic for good mea...

In honor of Sidney Crosby's second comeback from his concussion-recurrence symptoms, I thought I would share how I came to love hockey. I "discovered" hockey when I was a freshman at Penn State, from 1989 to 1990. Growing up 45 miles east of Pittsburgh, I certainly knew of the Pittsburgh Penguins, but they just weren't that good (in fact in the '80s, they were pretty bad), plus hockey was not exactly in vogue back then. The only player I had heard of was Mario Lemieux, but his greatest was not enough to get me interested in hockey prior to my going to college. But Penn State, on the other hand, had a great team in the Icers. They won many games by a touchdown or more, and they were just fun to watch. The sports complex was small, so you could easily see where the puck was at all times, the lack of which has turned off many a would-be fan. Because I was a poor college student, I could not afford to go to many games, so my sophomore year I smartly joined the Hoc...

Later today, the 2012 Penn State IFC Panhellenic Dance Marathon (known to many simply as THON), the largest student run philanthropy in the world, will come to a close. For those us of you who may not know, THON is a yearlong effort to raise funds and awareness for the fight against pediatric cancer. But the most well-know and longest-running THON event is the actual 46-hour dance marathon. Back in 1993, I danced in THON as part of Phi Sigma Pi, a coed national honor fraternity. A good friend of mine, who was born the very same day that I was, had recently died from cancer, and I really wanted to participate in THON for "Big Al." However, having never pulled an all-nighter in my life, I had no idea how I was going to stay awake and standing for 48 straight hours (not sure when THON removed two of the hours!), on top of the hours I would have already been awake before the event began that Friday night. But I figured if Al and so many others could suffer through what they did...

That may have been the longest blog title I ever wrote. But it sums up my feelings pretty well. You could read just that and skip the post, and you probably would not miss too much, other than a bunch of disjointed thoughts. But I have a few things I want to say, so here goes. I love Joe Paterno. Well, loved . I realize many, many people don't understand this and never will, and that is okay. I won't bother to try to explain it, because, as I said in a Facebook post this morning, I can't. But there are people out there who do get it. All of whom know what the expected response is to, "We are." And I guess those of us can take comfort in this shared experience. As someone else said on Facebook this morning, “I would hope that my life would be judged as a whole and not just by some bad choices.” That is the thing that too many people have overlooked. Joe Paterno did not molest any boys. Joe Paterno did not shower with any boys. He is not a monster. Yes, he sho...

I have a handful (well, maybe two handfuls) of things on my noodle, starting with a memorable Thanksgiving, so let's get right to it! Not sure which I will remember more about Thanksgiving day, my adult cousin's obscene t-shirt that he refused to remove for me or my three-year-old nephew trying to hit Jordan with a two-pound weight, but missing her and instead nailing his older brother in the head, which resulted in a trip to the ER . Good times! I wish my brothers and their families lived closer. I tend to be all about quantity since I typically see them only two or three times a year, and it gets crazy with so many people, including seven kids ages eight and under, in one small place. In one week I will be 40 . I still think I am okay with that. Ask me again next week at this time. Some people are idiots. I realize I did not say anything new there, but Black Friday tends to bring out the biggest morons and jag-offs in full force. Ugh. Speaking of jag-offs, while in I...

A few days after the Penn State story broke, I was reminded of something in high school, something I have probably not thought about in over or at least close to 20 years. Something quite honestly I would rather forget. But even my sorry memory still works every now and again. When I was a senior in high school, a friend of mine told me her stepfather was molesting her. When this memory came back to me, I immediately felt guilty. I questioned why I did not tell a teacher or my parents. Was it fear? Was I thinking I was somehow protecting my friend by keeping quiet? I honestly don't recall if she asked me not to tell anyone, though I am guessing probably. This friend was close to a teacher, whom I seem to recall she told. It seems likely I thought that since he knew, I did not need to get anyone else involved. I also remember that my friend was seeing a therapist, so maybe at the time I figured what else could I do. But if I have learned anything from the sordid Penn State story...

I still have so many thoughts swarming around my head regarding the Jerry Sandusky-Penn State scandal, but I cannot take the time to write them all down. And there is no way anyone would want to read paragraph after paragraph even if I could. So let me briefly (for me) sum up my thoughts as of right now. The whole situation is sad. So incredibly sad for the kids, but sad for others too. Sad for the people who thought they were doing the right thing but may not have been. Sad for the people who should have done more and probably knew it. Sad for the reputation of a great school. Sad for coach who did so much for a university. Sad for the fans. Sad for the students. Sad for the community. Sad for sports. Sad for parents. Just sad. I know that Joe Paterno needed to no longer be the coach. I had hoped he would have stepped down on his own, but he did not. I know PSU's cutting ties with him is the right thing to do, but that does not mean that it is not sad. I hate that this is ho...