Facie’s Ramblings

Most years for Lent I have given up sweets. I was successful only once, in 2001, I think; I forget the year, but I had devoted myself to fitness in an almost obsessive way. It was a tough 45ish days without a piece of candy, cake, or bowl of ice cream. But I was doing that more for myself than to bring myself closer to God, which is a big part of doing (or not doing) something for Lent. I don't have nearly the faith I did then, but I do try most days to be a decent human being. If everyone strove to do that, the world would be a pretty great place, and it likely would not matter so much which religion people were, or if they had a religion. But I digress. This year for Lent I have decided to do a few things. Try to lessen my "saying the opposite" of what the hubs says. I do this. A lot. It is not so much that I have to be right. I am pretty sure I AM right most of the time (he would disagree). But I am going to try to let things go more. This one is going to be toug...

Yesterday, I nearly finished a lengthy blog post, but then decided against posting it because it was focused on things that made me sad, which is going against the way I am trying to be. Then I took one piece of that post, and worked on that a bit, but that topic was too distressing. Last evening, as I was reading some article about a prison guard being attacked, I thought about writing a more lighthearted post about jobs I would never want to have. But I never actually put fingers to keyboard. So this morning, after being awake way too early, I decided to write about something more personal but hopefully not so negative: friendly relationships I am grateful that I have a handful or more of "true" friends who I know like (or at least accept) me for who I am, with all my faults and quirks, and whom I can trust. If I had only one or two of these people in my life, I would be luckily, but (yeah me!) I have more. Next there are those who although might not be the people I can ...

Before I launch into this post (and I am not entirely sure where it will go, but it will need to happen in about 20 minutes because I have lunch duty), let me begin by saying my hubby is pretty darn good as far as hubbies and daddies go. He cooks for us almost every day. Considering how much I love to eat, he could do little else but that, and it would not matter too much to me. [Note that a few years ago, I cooked for the family but was "fired" after a week or several. No one appreciated what I thought tasted good.] He also keeps the "mechanics" of the house running. He has black-topped the driveway, mixed cement to fix our crumbling steps, and planted grass. He moves heavy stuff around, figures out some electrical things, and when I fail at toilet unclogging , he helps me there too. Unlike a lot of dads, he spends time with his kid (though, he will be the first to admit not nearly what I spend with her), and is happy to help out with physical projects and cert...

Brian and I have been married 11 years today. As I said last year, it does not feel a day over 20 years! Last year at this time, we were trying to adjust to being together a lot since I had recently been laid off. One year later, in some ways we are still adjusting. One of my friends (and former coworkers) works with her husband. They don't work directly together, but the company is small (even smaller now!), so they see each other often. I have said then and I will say now, I don't know how they do it. Obviously what works for one couple does not work for everyone. But I think a big part of it is choosing the right person to begin with. I am always touched when I read about someone who married his or her soul mate. Personally, I am not sure about the idea of soul mates (but I believe it works for some). I remember back in 1996, when I was at a dinner for an engaged coworker. Someone asked me if I thought Brian was the one. I said I did not know. That person said if I did n...

For many years, I had several best friends. A bit of a contradiction, I realize, since there really should be only one "best." But mostly I just considered myself fortunate to have different people I could talk to. When Brian and I dated, I did not consider him my best friend in the way many people in relationships do. In fact, sadly, I was closer to a few of my guy friends. But when Brian and I got back together again in the later '90s after a three- or four-month hiatus, I realized one should not be closer to her male friends than her actual guy. Fortunately, our relationship evolved to the point where I did consider him my best friend. As time has gone on, I discovered that by being so involved in/with my husband and child, I no longer have many close friends, let alone a best friend. I get that your family should be your top priority; I got a taste of this when many friends started having kids before I, and we pretty much stopped going out. I swore I would never d...

If you know me fairly well, you know that I am a pretty open person. I am sure I have said as much in this blog several times. But I don't share very intimate details here. As you may have noticed, while at my last job, I never really blogged about it. By the time I starting writing this blog, I was pretty content in that area. Not loving-my-job-every-single-day happy, but content enough to realize that I had it pretty good. But even if I had been miserable, I am quite certain you would not have read about it here; I just don't think that is a wise idea, for the mostly obvious reasons. Similarly, I don't write much about my marriage or any strife within my family. As with most relationships, Brian and I have had our ups and downs. But anytime we have gone through a big fight or struggled with a significant issue, those things have not made it here. My unwillingness to do so is not so much because I don't think it is anyone else's business. In fact, part of me wish...

A friend forwarded me the following email. I have no idea the origins, but I really liked it, and I hope you do too. If you are religious (and some of you are far, far more than I am), I hope it is meaningful. And even if you are not religious or don't believe in God, I think you should be able to appreciate most of the sentiments in the letter. ********* Letter from Jesus about Christmas It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. Maybe you've forgotten that I wasn't actually born during this time of the year and that it was some of your predecessors who decided to celebrate My birthday on what was actually a time of pagan festival. Although I do appreciate being remembered anytime. How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just get al...

Today, Brian and I have been married 10 years. As I wrote on my Facebook status update, it does not feel like a day over 20. :-) Think about how many marriages in Hollywood have lasted that long. There are not too many, I am afraid. What makes these people give up so soon? I think part of it is that a lot of stars are self-centered. When so many people worship you, it is probably hard not to be, so it should not be surprising that they think they deserve the best of everything. And when they hit a rough patch, well, why not move on to find something better, someone else who will worship them? I think another part of it is the glamour of these relationships. When you are first in love, there is probably a lot of romance going on. Cards, flowers, nice dinners. When you make seven or eight figures, you can probably spend 30 grand on a date without batting an eyelash, and that kind of date is most likely spectacular. And the weddings some of these people have, often fairytale like... But w...

This past weekend, at the service for my former babysitter, I ran into the mom of a pretty good friend (partner in crime, really) from high school. I had met the mom only once, and did not recognize her. During our conversation, I found out her son he had moved back to area. I told her it would be great to hear from him or see him again, and she said she would tell him she ran into me. She asked if I was married and had kids, and I asked the same of her son. She said he had a girlfriend, but that she was not "the one." And then she said, "I think you were the one." I felt a little weird, but I managed to say something like he was a great guy/good friend. We both did like each other at different times, perhaps once at the same time, but it was just not meant to be. But what is "the one" really? Except in very rare cases, I just don't believe there is only one person meant for each of us. After all, I have thought probably three or four different guys we...