Skip to main content

At least I didn't have to lie!

My kid seems to be a little accident prone. A couple of years ago, Jordan fell backwards into a register, thus necessitating a trip to Children's Hospital and subsequent rants about health care. Less than two months ago, she had the mystery injury at recess. Last night, while swimming (thanks to my mother-in-law we have a six-month pool membership at a nearby hotel), Jordan said to me, "Mommy, I think I chipped my tooth." This immediately caused flashbacks to when I was about 10 and chipped my front tooth while going backwards down a water slide (yes, that was a stupid thing to do, but technically I chipped my tooth as I was turning the right way, once I realized just how dumb I was being, so I was probably more stupid doing the right thing). Anyway, I walked over to Jordan, who was clutching her mouth and crying a bit by now. I asked her to open her mouth, upon which I discovered she no longer had her top front teeth. Eek!

For a couple of seconds, I panicked, but then remembered she was seven, an age when some kids have already lost their front teeth, plus those teeth had been "wiggly" for a couple of months now. I already felt better. She, unfortunately, being quite dramatic, did not see it my way, even though she, fortunately, was in no pain. So I resorted to talking up a visit from the tooth fairy.

As you may recall, I am no fan of the tooth fairy. But because this event was a little traumatic for Jordan, I decided I could get over my disdain of the stupid farce, to try to take her mind off this incident. Luckily, we were able to find both of her teeth (one was in her hand the entire time; the kid refused to remove her hand from her mouth for about 20 minutes), and we headed home to find Jordan's (formerly my) little tooth pillow.

We put the teeth in the little pillow and placed it on her dresser, just as we had done the previous two times she lost her teeth. Even though my kid is a pretty sound sleeper, I have woken her up by kissing her, so I don't want to take any chances by putting something under her pillow. Once she was asleep, I debated if I should do something extra, perhaps even write a little note. Earlier, Jordan wondered aloud if the tooth fairy had tiny handwriting. I concluded she, in fact, does, something that helps a messy writer like I.

I decided to throw in two quarters on top of the usual dollar per tooth, and I included a tiny note with tiny handwriting that explained she was getting the quarters for loosing two teeth at once (I considered an extra dollar, but this seemed better, if not cheaper). When Jordan woke up this morning, she was quite excited to get the money and the note. And then she asked me if I wrote it.

I am a horrible liar. I am probably one of the most honest people you will ever meet. Truly. So I replied, "Do you think I did?" She smiled and said, "No."


But I am still not a fan of the tooth fairy.


Mel said…
this made me chuckle. aw, the many ways in which we mislead our children. sounds like it all ended pretty well. maybe J can learn to whistle through the hole in her teeth!!!
Facie said…
Actually, I ended up feeling kind of guilty about further perpetuating this lie. Ugh!

Popular posts from this blog


Lately, I have had some anxiety. I have been waking up within an hour of when I fall asleep (partially because my bladder has its own timetable). And then I lie awake, worrying about various things. Mostly I worry that I am failing as a parent. I worry that I allow my child to be disrespectful to me more than she should. I worry that I am not forcing my shy child to do more things. And I worry that the few things I am pushing her to do will make her resent me. I worry that she gets stressed about school. I worry that she is bothered because she does not have a lot of friends. I worry because I don't know why that is.

I worry that we will be stuck in our house in our bad school district, a place where we would not send our child to high school when she graduates in two years (two years!). Then I worry that our somewhat introverted child will have to go to cyber school. Because there is just no way that we could afford to send her to Catholic high school, for which tuition is curren…

Why I am an "Other"

Last month while I was getting my driver's license picture taken, I tried to change my political party affiliation. For whatever reason, my choices were Democrat, Republican, Other, and None. But first, how I got there.

I registered as a Democrat when I first registered to vote, just before the '92 election. At that time, I was "kind of" liberal (for growing up in a somewhat rural area in western PA), and pretty much all of my relatives were registered that way, so it made sense. I was not really into politics at that young age, however.

As I got into my late 20s, I started to realize I was becoming more conservative, so a few years later, when it was time to renew my driver's license, I changed to Republican. I still remember the day at work when I told my coworker Anne that I was really a Republican. She told me she had known it for years. During the 2008 election, I was on board with John McCain running for president, mostly because I thought he was a good pe…

My first and hopefully my last biposy (or I would rather be at the beach)

This past Monday afternoon I had my biopsy. Up until Sunday night, I was not worried. In fact, I was never really concerned about having cancer; it was the needle part that bothered me. As it turns out, there is more than a needle; there is an actual incision. So it was not surprising that I only got a few hours of sleep. But on a positive note, I cruised right down the Parkway that morning, being the Monday before the 4th, so there was that.

I got there at the prescribed 30 minutes ahead of time; in fact, it was probably close to 35 minutes! I had to wait about 10 minutes, during which I could feel my seat vibrate (still not sure about that; I was tired but I don't think I was imaging it). Then I went back, changed, and waited in the "gowned waiting area" for no more than 5 minutes. Not even enough time to find out whose twins Jennifer Garner was pregnant with! WARNING: What follows will be detailed, though not too graphic.

Then I went back to a room, where someone as…