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The look

As I read and hear about the latest Big Ben accusation, I am reminded that he has a family. Two parents (a father and step-mom, but I consider them his two parents nonetheless). A sister. Not sure about anyone else. And I can't help but wonder how must they be feeling and reacting to all this, even though he is an adult.

As I was thinking about what they are going through, I am taken back to a fall evening during my senior year in high school. My parents were supposed to be gone overnight. I told a few friends about this and was planning to have a handful of them over. I walked to the local grocery store, bought a bottle of pop and a bag of Doritos (yes, I remember exactly what I bought over 21 years ago, but I can't remember half the things people tell me five minutes later). When I arrived on my doorstep, about six or so friends were waiting for me, with some "adult" beverages. Later on, probably another three or four showed up as well. Those details are a little foggy.

I honestly had no intention of drinking that evening, but when the opportunity presented itself, I took advantage of it, just as I had a few other times in high school. Unfortunately (or probably fortunately), my parents unexpectedly came home several hours and a few drinks later, and the party was over in more ways than one.

I don't recall what happened to my friends. I don't know if my parents called their parents or what exactly was said. But I do remember two things from that point on. I told my parents I was upset that I got a C on an English paper, as if that somehow excused my completely irresponsible and illegal actions (to be fair, I was planning to be an English teacher and had always gotten A's on papers, so this was a big deal).

The other thing I clearly remember was the look my mom gave me. I will never forget it. It was one of utter disgust and deep disappointment. A look I had ever seen before and fortunately never witnessed again. I ended up being grounded for two months my senior year because of that evening, but it is the look that stands out most of all. And as a result, I never did anything like that again, though for the record, I am not saying I have since lived a perfect life.

I hope and pray I never have to give my own kid that look. I am not sure I can replicate it; it was just too frightening. But if I do, hopefully it will put her on the right path. Maybe BB needs "the look" from his family.


Anonymous said…
Might be time to move on from Big Ben! But good story. You had me at supposed to be gone.
Facie said…
Yeah, well, this post was not so much about Ben as about how what people do affects the people who love and care about them. And in this particular case, it was mostly about me.

I would like to move on from this whole BB situation. I have now had dreams about this guy twice in the last couple of weeks for the love of Pete.

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