Last year at this time, we were trying to adjust to being together a lot since I had recently been laid off. One year later, in some ways we are still adjusting. One of my friends (and former coworkers) works with her husband. They don't work directly together, but the company is small (even smaller now!), so they see each other often. I have said then and I will say now, I don't know how they do it.
Obviously what works for one couple does not work for everyone. But I think a big part of it is choosing the right person to begin with. I am always touched when I read about someone who married his or her soul mate. Personally, I am not sure about the idea of soul mates (but I believe it works for some). I remember back in 1996, when I was at a dinner for an engaged coworker. Someone asked me if I thought Brian was the one. I said I did not know. That person said if I did not know, then he probably was not. But then I said I did not think I could be without him. That same person said then he probably is the one.
I know Brian and I both need to try harder in our relationship; many of us do. It is so easy to take things for granted, and when you are worried about money, that does not make things any easier. But my biggest problem is I am still pretty overprotective and I feel guilty when I am not with my kid, even though I have not worked full time for over a year. I think if I could get over that, that would help me in so many ways.
Anyway, today I will think about that beautiful (in what happened, not the weather, which was crappy), happy day 11 years ago, when I married my best friend. I will remember all the reason we got married and all the reasons we are still together today. I will remind myself that I, unlike others who are less fortunate, still get to be with my spouse. And I will promise to do better.
Which probably means I should have gotten an anniversary card. Oh, crap. Yep, I have some work to do. But the good news is that I am pretty sure Brian did not buy one either. See? We are soul mates!