The next best thing to packing heat, I suppose...

I am not sure when exactly I started doing this, but for quite some time, I have pretty much refused to go anywhere without my cell phone. Not because I am afraid I will miss a call. Not because I am dependent on my phone (considering my phone is stupid, how could I be?).

No, I want to have my phone with me at all times, including church, because you just never know.

I don't consider myself particularly morbid, and more often than not, I am optimistic. But thanks to the information age, I can know, fairly easily and quickly, every time something bad happens. And although I don't think the world is a lot worse today than it was when I was a youngster, I think people feel more entitled, parenting has become lax, and some other things that I just cannot comprehend. But the end result is that although I don't obsess about something bad happening, I know that it can, and I want to be prepared.

A little over a month ago, I started attending daily mass three or four days a week (as long as I am not subbing). For whatever reason, one of the first times I walked into this church, which I had been to only twice before, I thought of how easily a crazed person could walk in and open fire. I also thought that if that happened, then I would first text Brian and ask him to call 911, because I could do that silently. I have actually pictured myself crouched underneath a pew doing this very thing. In fact, I have pictured scary things happening in all kinds of places.

Even though that may seem kind of nuts, I am willing to bet that I am not alone in those thoughts. But at least wearing my phone (on my belt, like a man, no less) seems safer than arming myself, insofar as I don't have to worry about accidentally shooting myself or someone else. Or on purpose, for that matter.

Be careful out there, people.


LaLa said…
Can't say I think thoughts like that normally, but after something tragic happens (like the school shooting earlier this week), I tend to be more cautious and negative. If something is going to happen, it will happen. Keep your call phone on you if it gives you peace of mind!
Facie said…
I don't think this way all of the time (soon after 9/11, I am sure I was this way most days). And I don't recall their being any one thing that precipitated my feeling this way when I started attending mass in January. In fact, I am not even sure I have thought about it recently (at least not every day). But the school shooting was the impetus for my writing the post.

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