Skip to main content

How much is too much

When I first read about the woman who had eight babies, and I immediately assumed via in-vitro fertilization, my first reaction was that was insane. But when I stepped back, I tried to be sympathetic, thinking perhaps she cried herself to sleep for years wanting a baby so much. I know women who were in that situation, and I support their wanting to have a baby by whatever methods they chose.

But my feelings of understanding lasted probably five minutes. Why have eight embryos implanted? As I understand it, IVF is expensive (around 10k?), so I get not wanting to implant only one or two embryos and then risk having to go through it all over again. But what normal person could afford to take care of that many babies at once, both financially and mentally (John and Kate do seem to have it together)? You have to assume that all embryos could be implanted and therefore turn into real, live babies that you will now have to take care of. And having that many babies in one pregnancy is harder on the mother and the babies, so if you are against terminating any of them, as some doctors suggested (and clearly I would be), it just seems plain irresponsible.

But what makes this appalling to me is this single woman apparently already has six kids (this per her mother), all through in-vitro.

What kind of doctor would allow her to go through another IVF pregnancy, particularly with that many embryos, knowing this? Who is going to be paying for the medical care these preemies will undoubtedly need? And who paid for the all IVF treatments to begin with? Brian's health insurance is so crappy that I have to pay every time I take Jordan to the doctor's for anything other than a once-a-year well visit; just the thought of her having insurance that would pay for this makes me mad.

I would like to feel sorry for this woman, who clearly must have some mental issues, but the financial implications clearly are keeping me from doing so. Sure, money was only part of the reason I chose not to have a second child (well, I am 99 percent there), and it was not even the biggest reason, but especially in today's economy, I don't want to have to worry about feeding, clothing, and supporting a larger family than I can afford if Brian or I lose a job. And here is this woman who, unless she is Oprah, Melinda Gates, or a few dozen other people, can probably ill afford to take care of this many children at one time. So who pays for them? We do (or at least the taxpayers of California).

C'mon, we already have a gazillion dollar "stimulus" we are going to be on the hook for, for a long time. Do we now need this too? When will people learn that you cannot have everything you want.

If it turns out that I am wrong, and this woman is able to pay for the medical and general care of her children all on her own, as well as give these kids the love, attention, and stability they deserve, then you will read my apology here. Stay tuned.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Worry

Lately, I have had some anxiety. I have been waking up within an hour of when I fall asleep (partially because my bladder has its own timetable). And then I lie awake, worrying about various things. Mostly I worry that I am failing as a parent. I worry that I allow my child to be disrespectful to me more than she should. I worry that I am not forcing my shy child to do more things. And I worry that the few things I am pushing her to do will make her resent me. I worry that she gets stressed about school. I worry that she is bothered because she does not have a lot of friends. I worry because I don't know why that is.

I worry that we will be stuck in our house in our bad school district, a place where we would not send our child to high school when she graduates in two years (two years!). Then I worry that our somewhat introverted child will have to go to cyber school. Because there is just no way that we could afford to send her to Catholic high school, for which tuition is curren…

Why I am an "Other"

Last month while I was getting my driver's license picture taken, I tried to change my political party affiliation. For whatever reason, my choices were Democrat, Republican, Other, and None. But first, how I got there.

I registered as a Democrat when I first registered to vote, just before the '92 election. At that time, I was "kind of" liberal (for growing up in a somewhat rural area in western PA), and pretty much all of my relatives were registered that way, so it made sense. I was not really into politics at that young age, however.

As I got into my late 20s, I started to realize I was becoming more conservative, so a few years later, when it was time to renew my driver's license, I changed to Republican. I still remember the day at work when I told my coworker Anne that I was really a Republican. She told me she had known it for years. During the 2008 election, I was on board with John McCain running for president, mostly because I thought he was a good pe…

Calamityware for unique holiday gifts

I have been really lousy at blogging during 2016, for several reasons (some of which I don't even know). One big reason is time: Between working full time and helping promote Calamityware, plus having a small family and doing the occasional social thing, there is not a lot of time left to put thought into blogs. [Sadly, I can put hours into FB, but that is mostly my reading and not thinking, and perhaps writing short comments. :-)]

Anyway, since we are now in the middle of the holiday (shopping) season, I thought I would again promote Calamityware. If you are like me, you have a few people on your gift list who are really challenging to buy for. That is where Calamityware may come in handy. Following are the unique, quirky, fun, and even some beautiful items you can purchase here:
Various porcelain plates adorned with fun things like frogs, zombie poodles, pterodactyls, tentacles, a volcano, a vortex, and more; buy a plate or one of the series of fourSoup bowls with fly (1 fly per …