What, me worry?!

Although I don't like creepy, crawly things, I am not afraid of them and am perfectly able to kill them when I see them. I like the dark, heights don't bother me too much (though I don't love them), and ghosts don't concern me (not sure if they are real, but have not ruled them out either). So what worries me and sometimes keeps me awake at night (or infiltrates me dreams)?

This first one is really, really strange, and kind of gross: overflowing toilets. This goes back to a time when I was in high school, and upon flushing the toilet in the "big bathroom" of our house, the water starting pouring over the seat. I freaked out! I can still picture it happening and my subsequent panicking as water flowed onto the floor. I don't recall who was at home who came to my rescue and, presumably, turned the water off. What I do recall is being afraid to flush the toilet when I was home alone after that for weeks if not longer. Fortunately, I have never overflowed a toilet since then, though I have clogged a few in my day (doesn't this sound like something Bluz would write?). Eventually, I learned to accept this fear even if I am not exactly over it, mostly because I have since become friends with a plunger (we go through a lot of TP in my house). Still I tend to hold my breath on those occasions where I plunge and flush. And to this day, I am guessing I don't go more than a few weeks without an overflowing toilet taking part in one of my dreams.

Another fear I have is our roof coming down/the ceiling falling on me when I sleep, and, yes, I have had a few dreams about this as well. When we bought our house 11 years ago this month, the home inspector told the hubby that we should probably replace our roof in three to five years. Worth noting is he said this without actually getting on our roof. Our plan was to be out of the house within five years, so it never bothered me until the last few years. Now that our roof is presumably living on borrowed time, this is another worry. Unfortunately, when we bought our house, the seller did not know how old the roof was (when he bought the house about 20 years ago, disclosures were not yet used or at least not yet required). So the roof could be just over 20 years old, or it could be 30. Our house is about 53 years old, and the roof has been replaced once, according to a neighbor who was here at the beginning of the neighborhood. We have proactively gotten bids for roof replacements, which cover an over $4,000 range(!!). And even though the roof leaking is a real concern of mine (also worth noting is we have never had a leak), spending thousands of dollars on something that we may not need yet slightly overpowers that fear. The thought of reducing our savings to pay for this pretty much makes my heart pound and my stomach hurt.

And that brings me to another fear: finances. When I had a steady, decent-paying job, we were able to put what I consider a nice chunk of change into savings every month. I also put money away for retirement. Almost four years later, money no longer goes into savings or retirement (hubby still does the latter, since it comes directly from his paycheck). The odd thing is about five or six years ago and for many years before that, I used to obsess over money. I constantly did a budget and tried to figured out how to save more and spend less. I would figure out how long it would take us to save X amount of dollars and adjust what went into savings accordingly. Now, I don't think about the details too much, which is kind of scary. Part of the reason is because I was so darn preoccupied with money before that I put the family in a good position for a much lesser income. The other part is a combination of letting go and being naive, I suppose. But I still worry quite a bit about retirement and what happens if we have some major expense. Cars, please last several more years. And, roof, can you please give us a sign, preferably one that indicates you are good for a few more years as well. [However, if you are in the Pittsburgh area and want to throw out the name of a roofing company, not an individual, please comment here or send me an email. We would like one more bid regardless.]

That about sums about what bothers me the most (in addition to worrying about my kid, but I have really, truly improved in that area). How about you? Any of you have odd worries like the overflowing toilet? If nothing else, I bet I am not alone with my money fear. In the world we live in today, it is almost impossible not to fret over that...