When I first had Jordan, I got a lot of grief from childless people who wanted me to do what I thought were unreasonable things. From taking my baby out to a smoky bar/restaurant to meet people when she should have been down for the night. To waking up my napping toddler to drive somebody somewhere. To entertaining houseguests in my small, guestroom-less house. More often than not, I would give in, because guilt really gets to me. Other times, I would say no, but then feel bad, thinking I was abandoning people that I might not get to see for quite a few months. But in most cases, no matter what I did (or did not do), I ended up feeling resentful. Of course, when those same people had children, things were different.
But yet I seem to have forgotten that before I had kids, I had no clue what was involved. I could not understand why my friends would still not go to happy hour. Why not leave the baby home with a sitter or the spouse? I did not understand sleep deprivation and would call some friends without considering napping schedules. I insisted on sleeping in the guest room at a friend's house and let my other friends who had a kid sleep in the great room. I even invited myself to another friend's house for an overnight visit when their kid was only a couple months old. Who does that?!
When I feel that people try to take advantage of me, are not considerate of my feelings and my life, or just do things that I would never do, I want to say what is on my mind. But most of the time, I just don't think it is worth it. Why say what I really think, when it will no doubt offend that person? They probably think whatever they are doing is just fine and won't want to change. Or they no doubt feel what they are asking me to do is perfectly reasonable. So what is the point of questioning their choices or even defending mine?
Seriously, I am asking that question.
I guess when I stop to think of some of the things I have done or still do, it is kind of hard to be critical of others. We all have our faults and we all do things our own way. What is right for you is probably not right for me, but that does not necessarily mean either of us is wrong.
So I will continue to try to bite my tongue as much as I can, letting friends and family live their own lives. And I will do what seems best for my family (and me), even if others don't understand my point of view.
Even if that makes me a little hypocritical.
But yet I seem to have forgotten that before I had kids, I had no clue what was involved. I could not understand why my friends would still not go to happy hour. Why not leave the baby home with a sitter or the spouse? I did not understand sleep deprivation and would call some friends without considering napping schedules. I insisted on sleeping in the guest room at a friend's house and let my other friends who had a kid sleep in the great room. I even invited myself to another friend's house for an overnight visit when their kid was only a couple months old. Who does that?!
When I feel that people try to take advantage of me, are not considerate of my feelings and my life, or just do things that I would never do, I want to say what is on my mind. But most of the time, I just don't think it is worth it. Why say what I really think, when it will no doubt offend that person? They probably think whatever they are doing is just fine and won't want to change. Or they no doubt feel what they are asking me to do is perfectly reasonable. So what is the point of questioning their choices or even defending mine?
Seriously, I am asking that question.
I guess when I stop to think of some of the things I have done or still do, it is kind of hard to be critical of others. We all have our faults and we all do things our own way. What is right for you is probably not right for me, but that does not necessarily mean either of us is wrong.
So I will continue to try to bite my tongue as much as I can, letting friends and family live their own lives. And I will do what seems best for my family (and me), even if others don't understand my point of view.
Even if that makes me a little hypocritical.
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