Skip to main content

I don't want to work

There. I said it. Right here in print (well, online). I don't want to work!

I have gotten too used to being off. Driving on an overpass over the Parkway East this morning and seeing all that traffic makes me dread having to join the masses again. I don't want to do it.

I don't want to have to get dressed up. I like my shorts, tees, and jeans too much. And I really hate curling my hair. I could get away with it at my last job, but maybe not with the next one.

I don't want to have to be around people who are not as dedicated as I was at my last job (all jobs, really). I never understood how people could not "care" as much as I did. At the same time, I also don't want to be around those who are so much smarter and better at things than I am. It is kind of a blow to the self-esteem and is taking a toll on my job search, this fear of failing, not being as good as others.

I want to be able to drop my kid off to school every morning. I want to be able to help her clean her boo-boo up, talk to her teacher, and wait with her, as I did today, without having to worry about being late for work. I want to volunteer at her school as much as I can. I also want to do other volunteer work, something I have rarely done since having Jordan. I want to be waiting for her as she runs out of school and give her a big hug as I did yesterday and not have her to go to extended care for hours until I am done with work. I want to hear about her day right away. I want to help her with homework when we get home. I want to be able to start dinner before 5 as I do now (okay, I don't really like the cooking part, but I have been doing it for months now).

I don't want to have to lie awake at night worrying about not finding a job, doing awful on an interview, screwing up once I get said job, running out of money, etc.

But I also want to be able to pay my all my bills, not have credit card debt, go out for meals, replace my AC/furnace, pay for my kid's tuition, take another vacation in the next few years, etc.

So I guess I better figure out a way to want to work. [Note to my older brother, who almost never reads my blog: This is why I would not tell a prospective employer about my blog.]
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A rambling gun rant

I have so many disjointed thoughts about guns in America right now. I am sad, sick, and angry about what happened at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida last week. I hate that I have to talk to my high schooler about what to do if someone starts shooting in her school. I hate that when the hubs and I dropped her off at the movies last week, I was feeling uneasy as we told her to be aware of her surroundings and pay attention to where the exits are. I hate that my daughter has many unanswerable questions about how what happened actually happened. I hate that my 11-year-old nephew in TX is afraid to go to school because he is afraid of a shooting. I hate that nearly every day since that awful shooting, I have had to read about threats at various schools, instilling more fear in children. Over 5 years ago after the shooting in Newtown, I said that I still consider schools one of the safest places. Despite the fact that we seem to read about more and more school shootings, ...
Post a Comment
Read more

What a year 2021 has been (Day 7)

I have almost no words for what happened yesterday at the Capitol. Protesting is one thing (though I truly think it is and has been time to move on). But to storm the Capitol? A friend on Facebook said, quite simply, " Almost 20 years ago a group of people on an airplane sacrificed themselves to protect the Capitol. How far we have fallen!" Indeed. And, yes, it IS storming the Capitol. I have seen numerous videos of people knocking down barricades/fences, pushing police officers, and breaking windows and climbing through them. That is beyond protesting. And even if a protestor did not do those things, if they followed those seditionists past those barricades and into the building, they are just as guilty. I did not support the violent protests this summer that resulted in damages to businesses and public property (I was in full support of the actual protests). But I also acknowledged as a white person, I cannot truly put myself in the position of a black person who is angry a...
Post a Comment
Read more

AD, After Death

Two weeks ago today, my dad died. At this time (9 a.m.) I was either getting ready to head to the hospital or on my way. The day before, we thought he probably had days left, which was good in that it meant we had more time to spend together and he was in no pain, but bad in that he was just lying there, not reacting. Why keep going on? Plus twice I had gotten a phone call saying he had hours left to live. Those calls are awful. I typically think about my dad when I first wake up. Today, he was not my first thought; it was, which cat is lying next to my feet. But he came to mind soon after.  Most days I have cried; some more than others. I had a run of 2 or 3 days where I did not cry at all, but then on Monday, I got some more sympathy cards in the mail. Even Verizon started their letter about discontinuing my dad's service/phone with "On behalf of Verizon Wireless we would like to extend our deepest sympathies to you concerning your recent loss." Verizon has made me cry ...
2 comments
Read more