Regressing

I went through the stages of grief about my job rather quickly, out of order and skipping steps to boot. I hit depression first, and anger came a day later. Within a few days, I was fine.

But, alas, today I had a little setback. I received letters of recommendation from my boss and from the woman who hired me (another PM), and reading them made me sad. It did not help to hear about my good attributes and how I would still have a job had it not been for the current economic conditions. It kind of hit me that I might have trouble finding a job. It is bad enough not to know exactly what you want to do. But knowing what you want to do does not mean there is a job out there, especially when so many others are looking.

I keep trying to tell myself I have time, I am not desperate. It will be okay. It just has to be.

Last week was the best week of unemployment ever. Seriously. I spent a lot of time with Jordan. The weather was great. I got some exercise. I cooked (gasp!). I did not have to set an alarm. I felt somewhat relaxed, save for worrying about if I should take that prospective job (I did not).

But reality is starting to set in. It might seem like a good idea to wait until I "figure it all out." But time might not allow that; I most likely will be competing with the next unfortunate group of people who get laid off.

Well, off to pick up my kid.

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