Memories, my mind, and other things I miss

My memory is not what it used to be. I am not sure if this is because of the insomnia I began been fighting with off and on after Jordan was born, or if it is a result of age, although 36 seems awfully young to be so forgetful. I just wish I could figure it out and do something.

I went to my PCP about 1.5 years ago for my every-few-years-checkup but also to discuss my sleeping problem. Dr. C did blood work, and everything turned out fine, but I never followed up with her. The truth is I did not want her to prescribe drugs for this (although the other reason I never made another appointment was it took her something like six weeks to get my results to me, and that was only after I left several messages at her office). My parents are pharmacists, and I get that people need drugs for a number of diseases, conditions, etc. But I am just not a fan of medication. Last week, after I had gotten no more than six hours of sleep for three out of four nights and started to get sick, I finally relented and took half the recommended dose of NyQuil for a few nights. I did sleep better, but it also felt wrong to take the medication. I just think my body can heal itself, and it usually does. Who knows if it was really the NyQuil that made my cold symptoms go away and help me sleep? Typically after a few days of not sleeping, my body gives in and sleeps!

I used to have what I thought was a great memory. For years on Fridays at work, we would have meetings to discuss the status of the spec guides we were working on. Even when I was responsible for a dozen or more guides, I knew the precise status of each book. Most others had to refer to notes or get back to the team. I don't think I could recall info like that on a bet right now. I am at the point where if I do not write something down immediately, it will completely evaporate from my mind. Just last week, the strategist on one of my project teams asked me to leave a post-it note on his computer to remind him to read an email I sent. His memory is obviously worse than mine, but, for the love of Pete, I forgot to do it anyway. Sheesh!

One of my personal favorite recent forgetfulness episodes happened last fall. I woke up one October morning feeling awful because I thought I had forgotten my friend Barb's birthday. So I started to write her an email when it hit me that her birthday was the month before and that I had already sent her a birthday email. But that is one thing I still am pretty good about--remembering friends' birthdays. I may not get cards out to most, but I can rattle off the birthdays of my family, most relatives, and at least 20 friends and most of their kids. I think I have finally figured out which friend has which birthday during the trifecta of November 16, 17, and 18 (MBB, Mel, and Nini; hope I got that right).

Autobill pay is the most wonderful thing for forgetfulness, let me tell you. Right now, the only checks I have to remember to write are for Jordan's child care, preschool, and church. I do have to remember to pay a few other bills online, but I think the fear of a late payment on a credit card is enough to make me remember that bill every month. I seem to also be able to remember events. If someone invites me to their house, to meet for coffee, or to an event/party, I almost never write it down; I just remember when it is, and I go.

But the thing about memories is, the really significant, special ones (and sadly the not so good ones) seem to always be there or at least retrievable. Looking at the snow falling today (gotta love global warming) reminds of sled riding with my brothers, snow delays as a kid (loved them then, when I did not have to drive in them), and especially March of '93 when we had something like 18" of snow. I have a lot of fun memories from that snowfall. It was the end of spring break, and I took a bus back to PSU. The bus ride took something like six hours (it typically took three), and we never made it up the hill to the bus stop. I and others had to drag our suitcases in the snow, up Atherton for probably a quarter mile. I had no way of getting in contact with my then-boyfriend because no one had cell phones then. Some guy in a pickup truck offered a few of us a ride. I remember I thought he looked like Jesus, and that day, he was our savior. Would I get in a car with a male stranger today? No way. But it was an adventure for a 21 year old. The next day, I sat outside the Cafe 210 in two feet of snow drinking a beer with said boyfriend. Would I do something like that today? Probably not, though I and my "work husbands" did our daily 30 minute walk yesterday in 10 degree weather, so who knows.

I guess as long as I can keep remembering things like that, and maybe even the not so good memories (after all, what does not kill you makes you stronger), then I should feel blessed. There, I feel better already.


Terri J. Medellin said…
I just learned from my GYN that trouble sleeping is normal for gals our age. I too have trouble sleeping. 5-6 hours is good and sometimes less. If I wake up during the night, I may not get back to sleep, and there is no think as sleeping in for me, when the sun comes up, so am I.

I also have trouble with being forgetful. Sadly 2 different times, I paid bills twice. One time it was the car insurance at $700, I sent a check and paid it online............I make my husband crazy. He saw the refund in our checking account and thought I some how screwed up paying the bill online and that our car insurance was cancelled. When he called, they said we were good to go.........craziness!

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