On the occasion of my 10th (kind of 11th) Mother's Day

~~Ten~~ (nine, oops, bad math) years ago, I celebrated my first Mother's Day. I don't actually remember a thing about it, including where I was or whom I was with. My mom may or may not have been working (if the latter, then I was not with her). I may have been here with the hubby, the kid (who was a baby at the time), and most likely my MIL. The hub's grandmother was still living in SC with his (now deceased) grandfather, so they probably were not there. We could have been at my MIL. Or, actually, we could have been at the hubby's restaurant (or maybe he was no longer there). Yep, no clue.

What I do remember is the Mother's Day before that. I, just over five months pregnant, took my mom to Heinz Field for a brunch. When we arrived upstairs, the hostess was handing out these nice, thick hardcover Steelers books to the moms. She asked me if I was a mom, and I recall touching my stomach and saying, "In utero!" Fortunately I got the book. :-) I don't remember much else about the day, just that I was glad I was able to take my mom to a place she loved and that we had spent a lot of time at over the past couple of years, thanks to our Steeler season tickets.

Also that year two friends sent me Mother's Day cards. One friend was a married mom of a one-year old, and the other was single and childless, but their thoughtfulness towards me was touching and something that I have not forgotten 10 years later. I saved those cards, along with the one the hubby got me, which he signed for him and the dog. That was our first year as "dog parents" to Sadie, so even if I was not pregnant, I think I would have considered myself a mom on some level. After all, we referred to ourselves as "mommy" and "daddy" when talking to the dog (and still do).

This year I woke up to the sounds of the kid, who is now 9-1/2, pacing outside my door. As soon as she heard me stir, she ran downstairs and was back up a few minutes later with a large coffee mug (filled with coffee) and a nice card. This was the first year she had actually picked out a card for me, and the sentiment was really nice. About an hour and a half later, the hubby made us bacon and eggs, and cleaned everything up, which included unloading the dishwasher from the night before. In a couple of hours, his mom and grandma will be here, and we will be treated to pesto pasta, steak, and shrimp. Pretty good day!

The only thing missing is my mom, who is on her way from NC, where one brother and his family live, to TX, where the other brother and his family live. Both brothers and families plus my mom were together this weekend for one of my nephew's First Communion. Unfortunately, with the new job and less than one day of vacation, I could not swing the nine-hour drive one way. But I am glad that my brothers are/were with my mom, as I have been luckily enough to spend the past few Mother's Days with Mom, unlike them.

In any event, motherhood has been an interesting journey. It has brought me such joys and happiness, but there have also been many tears and a lot of frustration along the way. I don't pretend to be the "greatest" mother; I still struggle mightily with being more of a disciplinarian and less of a friend to my only child. I hover and fret more than I should (but am improving). And I don't now how to best deal with my kid getting hurt emotionally. But one thing is for certain: The love I feel for my Jordan is like no other, and one I would not trade for anything or anyone else. I feel truly blessed to be a mom to her as well as to have a mom like the one I do. And I am also grateful I have had the chance to "mother" some of the kids at J's school, at the VBS program I volunteered for four summers, and at the after-school program for most of this school year.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there, in whatever way you "mother" someone or something. And know that I am sending warm thoughts to those of you who no longer have your moms or your children with you as well as those who are estranged from your moms.

Facie

P.S. I have to acknowledge the best gift I received (besides the "makeup" table the hubby and kid got me): a Pens victory. How sweet it is.

Why do they stand up there and say that when they are just lying?

That extra-long title is courtesy of my nine-year-old and was something she uttered during "Say Yes to the Dress" on Friday evening. I watch very little reality TV, but I make an exception for this show because I like to look at the dresses. And sometimes, the stories are heart-warming. Typically at the end of the show, a snippet of a wedding is aired. In this particular show, a woman who was confined to a wheelchair was exchanging vows with her fiance. After the two of them finished, J made her comment. I asked her what she meant as I must have been on the computer while the TV was on, and she explained that because so many people just get divorced, why do they even say "as long as we both shall live"? That is tough one, kid. I tried with what I thought was a sound explanation: Most of the people who get married truly believe they will be together the rest of their lives, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. But if you don't think that you will be ...

TMI

When I refer to TMI, I am not talking about people sharing (often gross) things they probably should not. But rather sharing a friend's or a relative's personal information with a spouse or significant other. I know people who have cheated on their spouses, had abortions, have been raped or victims of domestic violence, committed (minor) criminal acts, did not disclose things to the government that they should have, suffered from various mental aliments, and who have been drug addicts or alcoholics. In most cases, I have not shared that information with Brian unless the person told me I could or I felt he needed to know for family safety issues (e.g., you have to consider who you let your children around). I am certain he would think less of some of these people if he knew things they did, so what purpose does it serve telling him? But more importantly, I want these people who confide in me to know they have my word. I can honestly say I don't think I can trust any of ...

Do you ever just want to run away...

Yesterday's post was a rant about a fairly pointless two-hour delay. For the record, if it is snowing in the morning or if it has snowed throughout the night, I am not against a delay; the road crews have a lot of ground to cover. It is unfortunate for those who still need to get to work and are left scrambling to find child care or have to go in late. But I am all about safety. It is the temps that are clearly going nowhere any time soon that do not warrant a delay, again, in my opinion. It will be cold all day today. Having another delay today, once again, seemed pointless, but I am over it. ***** I had a rough weekend, and I have debated whether I should write about it. As my mom and one of my brothers are so fond of saying (though I will be paraphrasing), "Once you put it down in writing (on paper or in an email), it will always be there. You can't take it back." For that reason, when things weigh heavily on my mind, I don't always share them in this blog....

Facie’s Ramblings

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