Sunday, May 12, 2013

On the occasion of my 10th (kind of 11th) Mother's Day

Ten (nine, oops, bad math) years ago, I celebrated my first Mother's Day. I don't actually remember a thing about it, including where I was or whom I was with. My mom may or may not have been working (if the latter, then I was not with her). I may have been here with the hubby, the kid (who was a baby at the time), and most likely my MIL. The hub's grandmother was still living in SC with his (now deceased) grandfather, so they probably were not there. We could have been at my MIL. Or, actually, we could have been at the hubby's restaurant (or maybe he was no longer there). Yep, no clue.

What I do remember is the Mother's Day before that. I, just over five months pregnant, took my mom to Heinz Field for a brunch. When we arrived upstairs, the hostess was handing out these nice, thick hardcover Steelers books to the moms. She asked me if I was a mom, and I recall touching my stomach and saying, "In utero!" Fortunately I got the book. :-) I don't remember much else about the day, just that I was glad I was able to take my mom to a place she loved and that we had spent a lot of time at over the past couple of years, thanks to our Steeler season tickets.

Also that year two friends sent me Mother's Day cards. One friend was a married mom of a one-year old, and the other was single and childless, but their thoughtfulness towards me was touching and something that I have not forgotten 10 years later. I saved those cards, along with the one the hubby got me, which he signed for him and the dog. That was our first year as "dog parents" to Sadie, so even if I was not pregnant, I think I would have considered myself a mom on some level. After all, we referred to ourselves as "mommy" and "daddy" when talking to the dog (and still do).

This year I woke up to the sounds of the kid, who is now 9-1/2, pacing outside my door. As soon as she heard me stir, she ran downstairs and was back up a few minutes later with a large coffee mug (filled with coffee) and a nice card. This was the first year she had actually picked out a card for me, and the sentiment was really nice. About an hour and a half later, the hubby made us bacon and eggs, and cleaned everything up, which included unloading the dishwasher from the night before. In a couple of hours, his mom and grandma will be here, and we will be treated to pesto pasta, steak, and shrimp. Pretty good day!

The only thing missing is my mom, who is on her way from NC, where one brother and his family live, to TX, where the other brother and his family live. Both brothers and families plus my mom were together this weekend for one of my nephew's First Communion. Unfortunately, with the new job and less than one day of vacation, I could not swing the nine-hour drive one way. But I am glad that my brothers are/were with my mom, as I have been luckily enough to spend the past few Mother's Days with Mom, unlike them.

In any event, motherhood has been an interesting journey. It has brought me such joys and happiness, but there have also been many tears and a lot of frustration along the way. I don't pretend to be the "greatest" mother; I still struggle mightily with being more of a disciplinarian and less of a friend to my only child. I  hover and fret more than I should (but am improving). And I don't now how to best deal with my kid getting hurt emotionally. But one thing is for certain: The love I feel for my Jordan is like no other, and one I would not trade for anything or anyone else. I feel truly blessed to be a mom to her as well as to have a mom like the one I do. And I am also grateful I have had the chance to "mother" some of the kids at J's school, at the VBS program I volunteered for four summers, and at the after-school program for most of this school year.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there, in whatever way you "mother" someone or something. And know that I am sending warm thoughts to those of you who no longer have your moms or your children with you as well as those who are estranged from your moms.

Facie

P.S. I have to acknowledge the best gift I received (besides the "makeup" table the hubby and kid got me): a Pens victory. How sweet it is.

1 comment:

Heather said...

Hi I'm Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog! LifesABanquet1(at)gmail.com