Skip to main content

On the occasion of my 10th (kind of 11th) Mother's Day

Ten (nine, oops, bad math) years ago, I celebrated my first Mother's Day. I don't actually remember a thing about it, including where I was or whom I was with. My mom may or may not have been working (if the latter, then I was not with her). I may have been here with the hubby, the kid (who was a baby at the time), and most likely my MIL. The hub's grandmother was still living in SC with his (now deceased) grandfather, so they probably were not there. We could have been at my MIL. Or, actually, we could have been at the hubby's restaurant (or maybe he was no longer there). Yep, no clue.

What I do remember is the Mother's Day before that. I, just over five months pregnant, took my mom to Heinz Field for a brunch. When we arrived upstairs, the hostess was handing out these nice, thick hardcover Steelers books to the moms. She asked me if I was a mom, and I recall touching my stomach and saying, "In utero!" Fortunately I got the book. :-) I don't remember much else about the day, just that I was glad I was able to take my mom to a place she loved and that we had spent a lot of time at over the past couple of years, thanks to our Steeler season tickets.

Also that year two friends sent me Mother's Day cards. One friend was a married mom of a one-year old, and the other was single and childless, but their thoughtfulness towards me was touching and something that I have not forgotten 10 years later. I saved those cards, along with the one the hubby got me, which he signed for him and the dog. That was our first year as "dog parents" to Sadie, so even if I was not pregnant, I think I would have considered myself a mom on some level. After all, we referred to ourselves as "mommy" and "daddy" when talking to the dog (and still do).

This year I woke up to the sounds of the kid, who is now 9-1/2, pacing outside my door. As soon as she heard me stir, she ran downstairs and was back up a few minutes later with a large coffee mug (filled with coffee) and a nice card. This was the first year she had actually picked out a card for me, and the sentiment was really nice. About an hour and a half later, the hubby made us bacon and eggs, and cleaned everything up, which included unloading the dishwasher from the night before. In a couple of hours, his mom and grandma will be here, and we will be treated to pesto pasta, steak, and shrimp. Pretty good day!

The only thing missing is my mom, who is on her way from NC, where one brother and his family live, to TX, where the other brother and his family live. Both brothers and families plus my mom were together this weekend for one of my nephew's First Communion. Unfortunately, with the new job and less than one day of vacation, I could not swing the nine-hour drive one way. But I am glad that my brothers are/were with my mom, as I have been luckily enough to spend the past few Mother's Days with Mom, unlike them.

In any event, motherhood has been an interesting journey. It has brought me such joys and happiness, but there have also been many tears and a lot of frustration along the way. I don't pretend to be the "greatest" mother; I still struggle mightily with being more of a disciplinarian and less of a friend to my only child. I  hover and fret more than I should (but am improving). And I don't now how to best deal with my kid getting hurt emotionally. But one thing is for certain: The love I feel for my Jordan is like no other, and one I would not trade for anything or anyone else. I feel truly blessed to be a mom to her as well as to have a mom like the one I do. And I am also grateful I have had the chance to "mother" some of the kids at J's school, at the VBS program I volunteered for four summers, and at the after-school program for most of this school year.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there, in whatever way you "mother" someone or something. And know that I am sending warm thoughts to those of you who no longer have your moms or your children with you as well as those who are estranged from your moms.

Facie

P.S. I have to acknowledge the best gift I received (besides the "makeup" table the hubby and kid got me): a Pens victory. How sweet it is.

Comments

Heather said…
Hi I'm Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog! LifesABanquet1(at)gmail.com

Popular posts from this blog

Worry

Lately, I have had some anxiety. I have been waking up within an hour of when I fall asleep (partially because my bladder has its own timetable). And then I lie awake, worrying about various things. Mostly I worry that I am failing as a parent. I worry that I allow my child to be disrespectful to me more than she should. I worry that I am not forcing my shy child to do more things. And I worry that the few things I am pushing her to do will make her resent me. I worry that she gets stressed about school. I worry that she is bothered because she does not have a lot of friends. I worry because I don't know why that is.

I worry that we will be stuck in our house in our bad school district, a place where we would not send our child to high school when she graduates in two years (two years!). Then I worry that our somewhat introverted child will have to go to cyber school. Because there is just no way that we could afford to send her to Catholic high school, for which tuition is curren…

Why I am an "Other"

Last month while I was getting my driver's license picture taken, I tried to change my political party affiliation. For whatever reason, my choices were Democrat, Republican, Other, and None. But first, how I got there.

I registered as a Democrat when I first registered to vote, just before the '92 election. At that time, I was "kind of" liberal (for growing up in a somewhat rural area in western PA), and pretty much all of my relatives were registered that way, so it made sense. I was not really into politics at that young age, however.

As I got into my late 20s, I started to realize I was becoming more conservative, so a few years later, when it was time to renew my driver's license, I changed to Republican. I still remember the day at work when I told my coworker Anne that I was really a Republican. She told me she had known it for years. During the 2008 election, I was on board with John McCain running for president, mostly because I thought he was a good pe…

My first and hopefully my last biposy (or I would rather be at the beach)

This past Monday afternoon I had my biopsy. Up until Sunday night, I was not worried. In fact, I was never really concerned about having cancer; it was the needle part that bothered me. As it turns out, there is more than a needle; there is an actual incision. So it was not surprising that I only got a few hours of sleep. But on a positive note, I cruised right down the Parkway that morning, being the Monday before the 4th, so there was that.

I got there at the prescribed 30 minutes ahead of time; in fact, it was probably close to 35 minutes! I had to wait about 10 minutes, during which I could feel my seat vibrate (still not sure about that; I was tired but I don't think I was imaging it). Then I went back, changed, and waited in the "gowned waiting area" for no more than 5 minutes. Not even enough time to find out whose twins Jennifer Garner was pregnant with! WARNING: What follows will be detailed, though not too graphic.

Then I went back to a room, where someone as…