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Ten months

As I was sitting in a chair at the bank today, I noticed a calendar and read the date, January 13. At that moment I realized it has been 10 months since my last day at work. Wow.

Ten months ago, I never would have guessed I would be sitting at home at 10:35 a.m. during the week. Probably not even on a Wednesday, which had been my day off since Jordan was born. No, I figured I would have found a job by now. What kind of job? That I was not so sure. And, of course, I'm still not.

Most days, I really, really like staying at home. C'mon, who wouldn't? I get to run errands and do housework (though not as much as Brian would like) sans kid. I can blog, check out Facebook, and do a myriad of other mindless computer activities. I both drop off and pick up my kid from school, and then be with her and Brian in the evenings. I run and/or walk while waiting for J to be done with school. I volunteer a lot at said school.  I attend church an extra day per week. And I substitute when I am called.

But other days, at least for an hour or two, I miss having coworkers. Eating lunch with friends at work. Having a client say thank you. Finding errors in a document. Successfully obtaining more budget money. And, of course, I miss a steady paycheck.

A few days after the first day of 2010 (which, again, I am pronouncing twenty-ten), I had an almost panic attack while trying to fall asleep. It hit me that I had been out of work for almost 10 months with no job prospects in sight. And the worry of our aging roof, rusting furnace, practically inoperable AC, drafty windows, and stained carpet pretty much took hold of my brain. Sure, we can probably pay for crappy versions of those things out of savings (which puts us ahead of a lot of people, I realize). But then what's left? If I am being realistic, we are going to have to start living off savings in a few months. Unemployment is set to run out in a few weeks. So then what do we do?

I emailed some people yesterday (including former clients and people I had met since I got the ax), and although it was great that most of them wrote back, showing some type of interest, there was nothing concrete, no real leads. I have applied to jobs for which I am pretty qualified and have gotten only one interview thus far. I hate to think what happens when I start apply to things I have little business doing. But, ladies and gentlemen, that time is coming. Soon.

I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me. I have mostly myself to blame for being in this predicament. But if any of you can send me some good vibes, prayers, or a virtual kick in the butt, that would be great. I won't say no to winning lottery ticket either!


Sherri said…
I feel your pain. I left the work force willingly - thinking I would find something later. Pregnancies, bad economy, interviews down to me and one other candidate again and again - and... I'm still home too. A lot of people are in your shoes right now, so.... do NOT feel bad. It will take time, but you will find something. It has been years for some people - 10 months feels like a lot to you, but... really - you've stayed busy, making yourself appealing to potential employers, etc. Definitely sending you good luck vibes ;-)....
Anonymous said…
You have to do whatever you can do to give yourself a leg up. Apply to jobs you are remotely qualified for. Network. Take some classes ($, I know). As someone who worked with you before you were great at what you did and VERY dedicated. (Working on your day off). Their loss. Use it to your gain.

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