Facie’s Ramblings

There. I said it. Right here in print (well, online). I don't want to work! I have gotten too used to being off. Driving on an overpass over the Parkway East this morning and seeing all that traffic makes me dread having to join the masses again. I don't want to do it. I don't want to have to get dressed up. I like my shorts, tees, and jeans too much. And I really hate curling my hair. I could get away with it at my last job, but maybe not with the next one. I don't want to have to be around people who are not as dedicated as I was at my last job (all jobs, really). I never understood how people could not "care" as much as I did. At the same time, I also don't want to be around those who are so much smarter and better at things than I am. It is kind of a blow to the self-esteem and is taking a toll on my job search, this fear of failing, not being as good as others. I want to be able to drop my kid off to school every morning. I want to be able to help her...

I am sure that some people find my blog kind of boring. Unlike fellow bloggers who come up with a variety of topics, I tend to write (and by write, I mean ramble) mostly about the following: money (expenses, spending, taxes, etc.) sports (easy to do when you live in the City of Champions AND are not a big baseball fan) kids (well, mine specifically) politics (though I have been lying low on this subject for awhile) It is easiest to write about something I feel passionately about. Or, as is often the case with me, something that bugs me. When I was trying to come up with a name for the blog, I was debating between "Facie's ramblings" and "Facie's rants" (in either case, I probably should capitalize the R, but I am so sick of people capitalizing things they should not, that I left it lowercase out of spite). Since I tend to ramble more often than rant, I went with the former. And considering some coworkers asked if my blog was called "Facie's Rants...

That is Suze Orman's mantra, and I like it, even if I do not agree with everything she says. That has been my philosophy over the past few months while unemployed. As I have written many times, I have been blessed to be able to spend this time with my daughter. Sure, I am not so good at disciplining her, something that will come back to bite me in the butt, I am sure. But I like to think just spending the time with her, watching and helping her learn, etc., will outweigh the negative. I have also spent a lot of time with my mom; every two weeks on average, Jordan and I spend a night or two at her house. Brian is happy to have us out of the house, since we have been together pretty much 24/7 since Brian works from home; Jordan gets to swim at my mom's, and we just get to be with her, which is nice. It will be a little sad for me not to drive up there during the week, but we still have weekends. If only the rest of my family lived closer. As for the money part, I, along with many...

It seems a little too simple to say, "Do the crime, do the time" or however that saying goes. Sometimes it is not so cut-and-dried. I think about Plaxico Burress, former Steeler and NY Giant, who accidentally shot himself in the leg while at an NY nightclub with a gun he was not licensed to carry in NY. He will be going to jail for two years. He certainly deserves some prison time for breaking a law (and covering up what he did). But it seems kind of harsh to me. Had anyone else been hurt, I would have a different opinion, mind you. But I think a month or two in the pokey may have been more appropriate. Which brings me to Donte Stallworth, a Cleveland Brown who killed a pedestrian while driving drunk. He got less than 30 days in prison (plus house arrest, probation, etc.). A man is dead because of what he did, so I feel as if he got off lightly. Yet from what I read and choose to believe, the act was not intentional and Stallworth feels remorseful. Of course, anyone who drive...

Six years ago today, without the aid of drugs, I brought the most important thing in the world to me into the world. We've come a long way, baby.

That is the sound of a clock ticking. Or perhaps my heart, but that might be more like a pounding. My kid is going to be six this week, and for some reason that freaks me out. My kid will be heading to first grade next week, and that fills me with worry and apprehension. This might have something do with my freaking out about Jordan turning six. Not only do I not have a job, there are no prospects in sight. And I still have no clue what I want to do anyway. Oh, and people have really disappointed me lately. I am feeling a little better about Jordan academically, since I wrote my last post. But I still worry about Jordan being in the cafeteria the first morning (I have to drop her off at the door and say good bye), meeting new people (there won't be any kids from her kindergarten class), focusing all day long, figuring out her lunch money, and carrying a tray. The list goes on and on. And these worries, as small as they probably seem to most of you, really, truly keep me up at night...

Jordan starts first grade in just over two weeks, and I am rather panicked, thus contributing to my returning insomnia. Kids are under so much pressure to learn a lot and early, and I worry Jordan is not where she should be, even though I worked with her a lot this summer. Fortunately, she does know a lot of sight words, but when it comes to sounding out words, Jordan acts as if she were in increasing pain with every sound she says. But it is more than that. I worry about structure in general. Jordan and I had a great spring and summer together, but I fear I let her play too much. Some of you are probably thinking that sounds crazy; she is a kid. But how can I expect her to learn, pay attention, listen, be good, etc., for about 6.5 hours a day, when she probably has not done any one of those things for more than 30 minutes at a time a few times a day? Ah, the discipline. Jordan, for the most part, respects, even fears, authority. I am hopeful that will continue into first grade. But is...

A few hours after a crazy guy shot about a dozen women and killed three of them in a gym, I thought of how what he did affects so many people in many different ways. The injured woman may never get over the emotional trauma of getting shot. Some will probably endure nightmares and require counseling, which could affect their jobs and personal lives. Some may have physical injuries that take months to heal. This too could affect their livelihoods. What if one of them worked at a minimum wage job and had little or no health care? Many family members and friends who knew and loved those women will also be affected. It may take some of them years to get over this. The kid who lost his mother may very well think about this daily for the rest of his life. Think of the parent who has to bury her daughter. The health of perhaps hundreds of LA Fitness gym goers may also be in jeopardy. Some may never be able to work out again, for fear of a repeat occurrence. I am guessing some at the very leas...