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What about your friends

So I took Jordan to a birthday party for one of her preschool classmates today. It was the first of its kind for us; prior to this, we had gone only to parties of my friends' or relatives' kids. When we first arrived, Jordan latched on to my leg and would let go for nothing. Even when one of her best friends from school arrived, she still did not want to leave me. Mercifully after about 20 minutes, she finally warmed up to some of the kids, most of whom were strangers, and away she went.

Being surrounded by about 30 or 40 strangers and only three girls she knew, I can see why Jordan might have felt a little overwhelmed. And for me, someone who once was extremely outgoing (but still very open), it was a little uncomfortable for me as well. I had exchanged pleasantries with the birthday girl's dad on several occasions, and I had said hi to the mother of one of Jordan's friends, but that was it. Everyone else seemed to know the others, though no one was unfriendly.

Fortunately, I ended up talking a lot to the mother of one of Jordan's best friends, who is also going to kindergarten with Jordan. Prior to this, I figured we would have nothing in common; she, a stay-at-home mom of three, and me, someone who is neither meant to be super mom (which is really how I think of most stay-at-home moms), nor is likely to have another child. Yet somehow we ended up having things to say to each other. It was a little weird for me, because I tend to talk to people about what they do or where they went to school. But I discovered that much like conservatives and liberals can get along, so too can working and stay-at-home moms!

For someone who has enough trouble keeping up with her current friends from high school and college, I think part of me felt like I would be "cheating" on said friends by developing another friendship; that is probably a reason why I have resisted making new friends. But more significant, part of me worried about how I would get along with a new friend. It was like dating, for the love of pete. What if this new person did not like me, did not think I was interesting, or thought my kid was bad?

So today was nice for me and Jordan. I don't know if this woman and I will become friends. But it is nice to know it could happen; and how great would it be to have a mom friend who actually lives on the same side of the tunnels! Actually, we might end up sending our daughters to the same dance school in the fall (assuming I go through with that; part of my "not-super-mom" persona means keeping my child as uninvolved in activities as possible). Who knows what will happen. But it was good to be back in the saddle again, so to speak.

Now let's go Pens!

Comments

Blossom said…
Blossom,
I am glad to see that you are willing to branch out. I never knew that you had a hang-up with making new friends. I say everyone should make new friends at any opportunity they get because you will asuridly get the experience of something "new" whether it be a conversation or a life long buddy who you wind up going with on vacations. I am always open to meeting new people, not soley to make a friend but if that is what happens, all the better. I am glad that you had a nice day with Jordan at the birthday party. I hope that you and this lady keep in touch. "Cheating on existing friends" and "like dating"-grow up already!!!! I mean that in a mature, endearing sort of way!
Facie :-) said…
My family is my #1 priority, and work takes up a lot of time, so it is difficult to keep up with my friends. I don't think it is so unusual to feel as if by spending more time with a new friend, you are ignoring current friends. I sometimes feel bad b/c I spend a lot of time with work friends and neglect current friends (but it is a two-way street, I know). But I probably should try to get over this.

In a way, it IS like dating. You might talk to someone and realize you have nothing in common with them, and the friendship will go nowhere. Also, I have talked to parents who have totally different parenting styles and I know right away I could never be good friends with them. But fortunately it is a lot less painful than dating!

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