Skip to main content

Having fun with grownups

When I worked at my last (almost full-time) job, I did not go out a lot without the kid for the mostly obvious reasons: I felt guilty missing the few waking hours I had with her, and I really just missed her. That is why while at my last job, I often talked coworker friends into two-hour lunches or leaving at 3 p.m. for early happy hour; I hardly missed any evening hours with J and I still got to have grownup fun.

One would think when you have not worked regularly for over two years, the guilt of being away from your kid would lessen. But if you know me and how my mind works, you would know it really has not and it goes beyond money.

At swim lessons last week, two moms and I were talking about how when our husbands spend time with the kids (or kid, in my case), although we are grateful to have that time alone, we often find ourselves missing our kids, wishing they would hurry home, or in my case, often joining in on whatever Bri and Jordan are doing. Fortunately (for lack of a better word), because J and I have been driving each other crazy with all this time we have spent together over the past month, I am a little more willing for just Brian to spend time with Jordan. But for the most part, I still am with her, willingly, a lot.

Last evening, however, I made some real progress. I met up with a bunch of former coworkers at that German place in the South Side (that I am too lazy to Google to get the correct spelling). The past two summers 8 to 10 of us would meet at this place for a few hours, and both times I took Jordan. But this year, it was a big gathering, in honor of a former coworker, and I decided to leave Jordan at home. And you know what, as I walked out the door (and even when I first got the invite) I did not feel guilty.

In fact, I had originally considered coming home by 9, to kiss my kid good night. But at 8:30, I was have such a nice time catching up with these people, some of whom I had not seen in probably four or five years, and enjoying my German beer (mmm, dunkel) that I decided my kid would be just fine without her good night kiss from me.

And you know what? She was. And, more significantly, so was I.

I am not ready to meet friends for happy hour every week or even every month (mostly because of money), but I am going to try to get out there more and let go just a little bit. Baby steps.

Wish me luck!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Every parent deserves "time off". We are better parents for not spending all our waking moments with our little darlings. I am glad for you that you did this and I hope you do it again. Don't feel guilty and don't let anyone-husband, child, other-make you feel guilty!!!
Facie said…
Anonymous: Thanks for the comment. I know you are right, but I am sure I will feel guilty again. However, I feel pretty confident that I won't let the guilt stop me.

Popular posts from this blog

Worry

Lately, I have had some anxiety. I have been waking up within an hour of when I fall asleep (partially because my bladder has its own timetable). And then I lie awake, worrying about various things. Mostly I worry that I am failing as a parent. I worry that I allow my child to be disrespectful to me more than she should. I worry that I am not forcing my shy child to do more things. And I worry that the few things I am pushing her to do will make her resent me. I worry that she gets stressed about school. I worry that she is bothered because she does not have a lot of friends. I worry because I don't know why that is.

I worry that we will be stuck in our house in our bad school district, a place where we would not send our child to high school when she graduates in two years (two years!). Then I worry that our somewhat introverted child will have to go to cyber school. Because there is just no way that we could afford to send her to Catholic high school, for which tuition is curren…

Why I am an "Other"

Last month while I was getting my driver's license picture taken, I tried to change my political party affiliation. For whatever reason, my choices were Democrat, Republican, Other, and None. But first, how I got there.

I registered as a Democrat when I first registered to vote, just before the '92 election. At that time, I was "kind of" liberal (for growing up in a somewhat rural area in western PA), and pretty much all of my relatives were registered that way, so it made sense. I was not really into politics at that young age, however.

As I got into my late 20s, I started to realize I was becoming more conservative, so a few years later, when it was time to renew my driver's license, I changed to Republican. I still remember the day at work when I told my coworker Anne that I was really a Republican. She told me she had known it for years. During the 2008 election, I was on board with John McCain running for president, mostly because I thought he was a good pe…

Calamityware for unique holiday gifts

I have been really lousy at blogging during 2016, for several reasons (some of which I don't even know). One big reason is time: Between working full time and helping promote Calamityware, plus having a small family and doing the occasional social thing, there is not a lot of time left to put thought into blogs. [Sadly, I can put hours into FB, but that is mostly my reading and not thinking, and perhaps writing short comments. :-)]

Anyway, since we are now in the middle of the holiday (shopping) season, I thought I would again promote Calamityware. If you are like me, you have a few people on your gift list who are really challenging to buy for. That is where Calamityware may come in handy. Following are the unique, quirky, fun, and even some beautiful items you can purchase here:
Various porcelain plates adorned with fun things like frogs, zombie poodles, pterodactyls, tentacles, a volcano, a vortex, and more; buy a plate or one of the series of fourSoup bowls with fly (1 fly per …