Friday, December 14, 2012

This isn't how it is supposed to happen

Last evening, the mother of one of J's classmates passed away. This woman had been sick for quite some time (really her daughter's entire life), and her health had recently taken a turn for the worse. However, when I had spoken to her last week and the week before, she sounded pretty good, even optimistic. To help makes things easier for the family, I was planning to take her daughter and J swimming today, and we were going to finalize the plans yesterday. Unfortunately, because this woman had gotten so sick over the past few days, my conversation with her on my birthday was the last we will ever have. Sigh.

In my opinion (and the opinion of many others) the worst thing that can happen to someone is to lose her child/ren. But a young kid should not have to lose one of her parents either. To a kid, that is the worst thing that can happen. I remember one time as a child my brothers and I were supposed to spend the weekend at my grandmother's, about an hour away, and I refused to go. I had this bad feeling, and I did not want to be away from my parents. I am sure that defiance did not thrill my parents, who were probably looking forward to some rare alone time without three kids, but I just felt scared. Nothing happened, and who knows if something would have had I gone with my brothers, but 30-some years later, I still recall that time. But I still have my parents.

As I have blogged about before, I am not always good about leaving my kid in the hands of another (other than at school). I used to fret and sometimes even cry when J would spend the night at hubby's mom; I just felt out of control. I still am unsure if my issues are more of a result of my having only one kid or because of what happened to Amy over at Callapitter. But I mostly have gotten past my angst. As a person of faith, albeit one who questions a lot of things, I try to remind myself that here on earth is not the end all, be all, and whatever shall be, shall be. I am hopeful there is an afterlife. After all, here is yet another reminder that things in this life are not always great. There is often pain and suffering. Death is a part of life. And it is not up to us to try to make sense of it all.

But that does not mean I don't feel sad today, and maybe even a little angry. My heart is breaking for that family. But I can only hope and pray they will find some peace and comfort in something, perhaps others. I am going to try to do what I can to help them emotionally.

And, even if just for a brief time, this sad life event may remind me and others that life is short, and we should try to make the most of the time we have here and not put something off today, including making things right with someone, just because we are banking on tomorrow.

Because sometimes tomorrow does not come.

Sigh.

Rest in peace, Laurie. You deserve an eternal break from the pain.

2 comments:

bluzdude said...

So sorry for your loss, Facie. It's so tough. I feel for the little one...

Facie said...

Thanks, Bluz. What a shame the day ended up with so many more losses...