Skip to main content

Doing the right thing

I am still trying to get the nerve to write a post about my failings as a parent. Just not there yet. But for everything I do wrong and for all the times my kid acts like a teenager, it is nice when J does something that shows me I must be doing some things right.

As I have blogged about before, some of J's classmates have been mean to her and have excluded her, which, I know, is pretty normal for kids. Fortunately, she is rarely fazed by this, mostly because she is oblivious. I, on the other hand, continue to let this get under my skin, mostly because my kid goes to a Catholic school, so one might expect the kids to be kind, Christian-like. You know what I am saying?

One of J's best friends, whom I will call Kelly, happens to be loved by pretty much all the kids. Kelly is a pretty nice girl, fairly quiet when I sub, and, even better, has never been disrespectful to me, unlike far too many others. 

Yesterday when I picked J up from school, I asked her whom she sat with at lunch, as I often do. She told me she sat with a girl I will call Lisa, someone J is friendly with but does not consider a best friend. I asked J who else she sat with, and she said only Lisa, which seemed odd. J went on to explain to me that many kids wanted to sit near Kelly, including J, as is the case pretty much daily. And in fact, once that group of kids, again, including J, was sitting at Kelly's table, that left Lisa at another table by herself. So rather than leave Lisa all alone, my kid went to sit with her.

I told J how proud of her I was, knowing how much she likes Kelly and wants to sit with her.

Knowing the kids at that school as well as I do, I am not sure too many if any would do what Jordan did. But my kid did the right thing. I will take that.

Comments

bluzdude said…
Your daughter has empathy, and that's not something you learn in school. I just hope it doesn't get stamped out there.
Facie said…
Me too, Bluz. Now if only I could get her to be a little less empathetic towards all the roadkill we see. A dead deer on the side of the road typically results in five minutes of crying.
Mel said…
that's a great story, Facie. Good for Jordan to see beyond the obvious and think of another girl first. that is truly heartening.
Facie said…
Thanks, Mel. I agree. I have a less great story as a follow up, though!

When Jordan forgot a workbook at school last week, I told her to do the HW as soon as she got to school/during homeroom period b/c that teacher automatically gives a 0 if you don't turn it in on time plus she would have to do it anyway. She did as I told her, and managed to get most of them done. Then when the teacher collected them, another kid ratted her out, the teacher asked if she had, in fact, forgotten to take her book home, and my kid told the truth. But she got the 0.

I told Jordan that that was an example of when you don't tattle, since it did not qualify as someone doing something dangerous or that would be hurtful to others (that is my philosophy anyway). I told Jordan if she ever sees someone doing their HW in class, she should ignore it/not tell. However, if she ever catches that kid doing it, I gave her full permission to tattle. Yeah, probably not the best lesson to teach my kid...
MamaRoc said…
What a lovely story. Thank you for that. I have a blissfully ignorant (of the other mean girls at Catholic school) daughter who sounds a bit like yours. Hug her up and tell her we are ALL proud of her. We need many more good hearts like hers. Good work, mom.
Oh, and about the failures of parenting thing, don't feel obligated unless it helps you. Worry not - we're all there almost every day. I'm so happy you have this concrete example of a success- know there are many more about which you will never know :)
Facie said…
Thanks, MamaRoc! I consider you a great role model, so I happily accept your compliment. I don't know about you, but I am mostly glad that my kid is mostly unaware of how means others are/can be. She should stay happy/contented as long as she can.

Popular posts from this blog

What a year 2021 has been (Day 7)

I have almost no words for what happened yesterday at the Capitol. Protesting is one thing (though I truly think it is and has been time to move on). But to storm the Capitol? A friend on Facebook said, quite simply, " Almost 20 years ago a group of people on an airplane sacrificed themselves to protect the Capitol. How far we have fallen!" Indeed. And, yes, it IS storming the Capitol. I have seen numerous videos of people knocking down barricades/fences, pushing police officers, and breaking windows and climbing through them. That is beyond protesting. And even if a protestor did not do those things, if they followed those seditionists past those barricades and into the building, they are just as guilty. I did not support the violent protests this summer that resulted in damages to businesses and public property (I was in full support of the actual protests). But I also acknowledged as a white person, I cannot truly put myself in the position of a black person who is angry a

Why do they stand up there and say that when they are just lying?

That extra-long title is courtesy of my nine-year-old and was something she uttered during "Say Yes to the Dress" on Friday evening. I watch very little reality TV, but I make an exception for this show because I like to look at the dresses. And sometimes, the stories are heart-warming. Typically at the end of the show, a snippet of a wedding is aired. In this particular show, a woman who was confined to a wheelchair was exchanging vows with her fiance. After the two of them finished, J made her comment. I asked her what she meant as I must have been on the computer while the TV was on, and she explained that because so many people just get divorced, why do they even say "as long as we both shall live"? That is tough one, kid. I tried with what I thought was a sound explanation: Most of the people who get married truly believe they will be together the rest of their lives, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. But if you don't think that you will be

Wearing my heart on my sleeve

Four years and two weeks ago, I wrote a blog post that contained the good-bye email I wrote to my coworkers on the occasion of my last day of work. I was pretty proud of that note, which was quite hard to write as it reflected almost 13 years of being with one company, which is pretty rare in this century. I reread that note this morning to remind myself of what I had said, as that time feels like a lifetime ago. One sentence struck me: I am not sure where I will go from here or what I will do (although I fear cooking will be part of my immediate future), but I like to think onward and upward. I really had no idea what it was I was going to do or how long I would be without steady employment. Never did I suspect I would more or less be a SAHM who subbed and freelanced on occasion (sometimes the subbing and freelancing were often; other times I could go weeks without working). But here I am, just over four years later, getting ready to head back to steady employment.