Friday, January 20, 2012

Doing the right thing

I am still trying to get the nerve to write a post about my failings as a parent. Just not there yet. But for everything I do wrong and for all the times my kid acts like a teenager, it is nice when J does something that shows me I must be doing some things right.

As I have blogged about before, some of J's classmates have been mean to her and have excluded her, which, I know, is pretty normal for kids. Fortunately, she is rarely fazed by this, mostly because she is oblivious. I, on the other hand, continue to let this get under my skin, mostly because my kid goes to a Catholic school, so one might expect the kids to be kind, Christian-like. You know what I am saying?

One of J's best friends, whom I will call Kelly, happens to be loved by pretty much all the kids. Kelly is a pretty nice girl, fairly quiet when I sub, and, even better, has never been disrespectful to me, unlike far too many others. 

Yesterday when I picked J up from school, I asked her whom she sat with at lunch, as I often do. She told me she sat with a girl I will call Lisa, someone J is friendly with but does not consider a best friend. I asked J who else she sat with, and she said only Lisa, which seemed odd. J went on to explain to me that many kids wanted to sit near Kelly, including J, as is the case pretty much daily. And in fact, once that group of kids, again, including J, was sitting at Kelly's table, that left Lisa at another table by herself. So rather than leave Lisa all alone, my kid went to sit with her.

I told J how proud of her I was, knowing how much she likes Kelly and wants to sit with her.

Knowing the kids at that school as well as I do, I am not sure too many if any would do what Jordan did. But my kid did the right thing. I will take that.

6 comments:

bluzdude said...

Your daughter has empathy, and that's not something you learn in school. I just hope it doesn't get stamped out there.

Facie said...

Me too, Bluz. Now if only I could get her to be a little less empathetic towards all the roadkill we see. A dead deer on the side of the road typically results in five minutes of crying.

Mel said...

that's a great story, Facie. Good for Jordan to see beyond the obvious and think of another girl first. that is truly heartening.

Facie said...

Thanks, Mel. I agree. I have a less great story as a follow up, though!

When Jordan forgot a workbook at school last week, I told her to do the HW as soon as she got to school/during homeroom period b/c that teacher automatically gives a 0 if you don't turn it in on time plus she would have to do it anyway. She did as I told her, and managed to get most of them done. Then when the teacher collected them, another kid ratted her out, the teacher asked if she had, in fact, forgotten to take her book home, and my kid told the truth. But she got the 0.

I told Jordan that that was an example of when you don't tattle, since it did not qualify as someone doing something dangerous or that would be hurtful to others (that is my philosophy anyway). I told Jordan if she ever sees someone doing their HW in class, she should ignore it/not tell. However, if she ever catches that kid doing it, I gave her full permission to tattle. Yeah, probably not the best lesson to teach my kid...

MamaRoc said...

What a lovely story. Thank you for that. I have a blissfully ignorant (of the other mean girls at Catholic school) daughter who sounds a bit like yours. Hug her up and tell her we are ALL proud of her. We need many more good hearts like hers. Good work, mom.
Oh, and about the failures of parenting thing, don't feel obligated unless it helps you. Worry not - we're all there almost every day. I'm so happy you have this concrete example of a success- know there are many more about which you will never know :)

Facie said...

Thanks, MamaRoc! I consider you a great role model, so I happily accept your compliment. I don't know about you, but I am mostly glad that my kid is mostly unaware of how means others are/can be. She should stay happy/contented as long as she can.