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Looking for a sign

I have now been out of work for almost three months (about 10 days shy of). I would have thought by now I would have figured out what my next move is. But, considering I have pondered what I am "meant to do" for probably 15 or more years now (perhaps my whole life), I don't know why I am surprised I am still clueless today.

It is weird how as things change in your life, so do you. What I mean is, right now my biggest priority is my child. I am determined to find a job that will allow me to spend the most amount of time possible with her. So that means a job with odd hours (like a 10 to 7 shift that my friend works or working on the weekends) is completely unappealing to me. Once Jordan starts school, I really want to be with her when she gets home from school, so we can work on homework together. And because I am so afraid that I won't find something like this, I have been unable to bring myself to apply for a job. Sigh.

Most people don't just walk into jobs with flexible hours; you usually have to work into or up to that. And that is just what I did at my last job (working four days). In today's economy, I cannot imagine saying to someone that I would need to leave by 5 p.m. most nights (4 would be better and a really great job would get me home by 3:30). No, you pretty much need to work your butt off, putting in the hours you can.

Which leads me to what I have been pondering lately--which is working at Jordan's school in the fall. I know this is kind of crazy; you don't just walk up to the priest and say you want a job there. But yet I have this little fantasy where that very thing happens. I told Brian maybe I could get a job as an aid, although I am guessing the pay would probably be something like $8, maybe $10 if I were lucky. That did not go over well with Brian, who misses our going out to dinner, buying stuff that we want, etc. It is funny to me, someone who has worried about money for years, that I am even considering such a low-paying endeavor.

Of course, this also goes against what I loved about my previous job, that I could come in late/leave early as needed. Kind of difficult to do that when you are in a school setting (in other words, going to a Steelers Super Bowl victory parade may be out of the question). But how I have felt the last month or so, is that I don't care about that.

My plan for now (if you can call it that) is to see what type of financial aid I get for Jordan's school. I am guessing little to none. And that will cause me to set up a meeting with my priest, during which I will explain my situation. I just filled out an application with the diocese for a background check, because I will be teaching vacation Bible school, so I am already on the right path.

We'll see. In the meantime, go Pens!


Mel said…
it's amazing what you can learn to do without. I've made a life of it. and honestly? it's just made me more convinced that most of what we work, sweat for, hunger for is really so surface-level and shallow that I'm often ashamed to be American. NOT like Michelle Obama was ashamed--just ashamed b/c we are so wealthy and spend our wealth so frivolously and with so little thanks for all we are blessed with. I'll pray you do what you're supposed to do, and that B supports you in that venture.
chr said…
I know someone else who works at her daughter's (small, Christian) school to be close to her and get a tuition break. It's a great idea, I think. Hope it works for you!
chris h. said…
Duh, I hate when I hit return before I'm done entering my name...
Anonymous said…
It sounds as if you do have it figured out, at least what you want to do for now. Keep in mind that people change jobs after just a year or two nowadays. I say you have nothing to lose by talking to your priest. Good luck.
Facie :-) said…
I might have received a sign. Between yesterday's brake replacement and rotor deglazing and today's thermostat replacement, we spent $350 in less than 20 hours. We can do without a lot of material things, but it becomes to tough to pay for things like this on little salary.

As for the school idea, I am guessing it is probably easier to get a job in a non-Catholic school. I spent about 30 minutes earlier this week filling out pages of questions just to get some clearance/registered with the diocese to teach vacation bible school. I also had to have a backgroud check. I could not remember all the previous addressed I have had since 1975. Wow!
Robta said…
Sounds like you're started on the right track with what you want to do. The school thing sounds good, maybe you can somehow work it out, and maybe do some freelance work at home. I don't blame you for not liking the 10-7 thing, I know I don't. It is what it is. I'm just trying to have a house to live in, instead of a box.

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