Some random ramblings

I have a number of thoughts swimming around my head, so I thought I would put them down, in no particular order. Here goes.

I think this holiday season people are less rude and crazy. Am I the only one seeing this? Maybe it just seems that way because I am in a better place emotionally and I am doing my best to be kinder and more observant. But so far, I don't think I have witnessed a single rude act (traffic not withstanding). In fact, people seem friendlier than I remember.
I know that people saying "Happy Holidays" bothers some of my Christian friends. Me? Not so much. It is a holiday season after all, and there are Jewish people out there shopping for Hanukkah gifts. On the other hand, I have never forgotten when one of my Jewish friends from college actually scolded me for sending her a Christmas card. I was not trying to offend her; I simply wanted to send her a card as I did all my other friends, and as a poor college student, I did not have the extra money to get her a different card. I no longer send any Jewish friends cards, however.
I am not doing so well holding to a budget this Christmas. I know my kid gets way more than she needs, but I just can't help myself. I still hope that one year I can convince my siblings to stop exchanging gifts and spend money on charity. Normally I do the latter anyway, but this year, I had to forgo my donations to usual charities (other than the giving tree and a gift for a child via Jordan's school). Yes, I realize I could have just spent less on gifts for Jordan and still made donations. Sigh. Sorry, Dave. I know how disappointed you would be.
I am continually (or is that continuously) disappointed by the poor customer service and seeming incompetence from too many people in many different businesses. And I can't help feeling a tinge of bitterness because these people have jobs, and I don't.
And speaking of jobs, why is it when you have a phone interview, the interviewer cannot take the time to shoot you an email telling you thanks but no thanks? I think I deserve that.
And to one of the schools I want to sub for: I got over that you did not return my phone call from two or three weeks ago when I asked a simple question. But since I personally dropped off my resume and cover letter over a week ago and the teachers standing there said they could really use subs, how hard would it be for someone to call or email me, just to let me know what the next steps are?
I am really struggling with my health insurance decision. Do I pay about $340/month for good health care (no eye and dental), or do I spend about 30 percent of that per month but then have crappy insurance that could end up costing us 1000s of dollars if I need anything more than routine care?
I will miss Fred Honsberger. I cannot believe he passed away this week, at such a young age. I had no idea his health was that bad. Just Sunday he wrote a comment on his Facebook page about how he was taking vacation time, and that there was nothing wrong with him.
To Ryan Clark: I have never begrudged any athlete or movie, TV, or musical star from making millions. But don't disrespect the fans. They have every right to be disappointed by the Steelers abysmal performance. If it weren't for the fans paying money for seat licenses, tickets, and merchandise, most of you would not have jobs.
I subbed the same class three days this week, and I really felt as if this class were mine. They are a good class. One kid, after asking me my age and my refusing to tell him, asked if I was 26. I told him I liked that way of thinking. Then another kid, clearly a charmer, said I looked as if I were 16.
A teacher this week also made my day. She told me that she thanks the Lord for me, and how lucky they are to have me sub. She even stopped another teacher walking by to get her to agree. It was such a nice thing to say. If only I could sub there four days a week and make enough to pay our bills. That would be my Christmas wish.
During the Christmas concert at school this week, I actually felt love for the kids. All of them. To me it sounds crazy, considering that some of those kids are so disrespectful to me. But for several moments, that is how I felt. I wanted to hug every one of them.

And on that note, I will end my latest ramblings.

What a year 2021 has been (Day 7)

I have almost no words for what happened yesterday at the Capitol. Protesting is one thing (though I truly think it is and has been time to move on). But to storm the Capitol? A friend on Facebook said, quite simply, " Almost 20 years ago a group of people on an airplane sacrificed themselves to protect the Capitol. How far we have fallen!" Indeed. And, yes, it IS storming the Capitol. I have seen numerous videos of people knocking down barricades/fences, pushing police officers, and breaking windows and climbing through them. That is beyond protesting. And even if a protestor did not do those things, if they followed those seditionists past those barricades and into the building, they are just as guilty. I did not support the violent protests this summer that resulted in damages to businesses and public property (I was in full support of the actual protests). But I also acknowledged as a white person, I cannot truly put myself in the position of a black person who is angry a

Melancholy and Gratitude

A few days ago, I decided to do gratitude posts on FB. I was good the first two days. Day 3 I got a little snarky as I posted about "doing the right thing" in regards to Covid. The Covid cases in Allegheny County have been on the rise. For a while, we had daily counts between 50 and 100. After July 4, we saw a spike for a few weeks, and then cases were back below 100. Unfortunately, other than one "low" day this week, where "only" 288 cases were reported, we have had between 500 and 620 daily cases. Fortunately, only a few people have died this week. But of course, any death is too many. I started to keep track of cases, deaths, and hospitalizations on 6/12/20. On that day, since 3/12, Allegheny County had had 2,034 cases, 352 people had been hospitalized, and 172 people had died. On 11/19/20, the county has seen a total of 22,042 cases, 1,724 people have been hospitalized, and 465 people have died from Covid since 3/12. In just over 8 months, we have had

Hug your loved ones!

I hate to say that I am still working through my grief. I mean, in some ways I can imagine I will always be grieving. But I feel pretty confident it will get easier, and I will cry less and less. But, yeah, I guess I am still working through it. Yesterday, a thought occurred to me: I had not hugged my dad since the end of February, and that will now be the last time I ever did. I did not see him for almost three months because of COVID, and then at the end of May, he started his series of hospital visits with skilled nursing stints in between. I was always afraid to hug him then. What if I gave him COVID? And yet when my dad had really bad ICU delirium during a few different hospital stays, I fed him. If I could do that, why not hug him? So I cried a bit last night thinking about that. I am not necessarily a big hugger; I used to hate it, and then probably before Jordan was born, I got back to doing it again. Before COVID, I hugged my friends goodbye (and sometimes hello). I always wou

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