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I'm not really worried.

I used to blog pretty frequently. I think I stopped when I went back to work FT; it just became too much. I never had a big following, but a handful of people read my posts, and then another handful of people who would stop by on occasion. A few of those I consider(ed) friends.

Now, since I barely write (and because, quite frankly, my topics are not terribly interesting and I am not a gifted writer), hardly anyone comes to visit, but that is fine. Preferable for this post, really. And here I go!

I have heterogeneously dense breasts. And although I can't quite recall what that means, it does seem to make my mammograms show things that may or may not be troublesome. Usually the latter. Something showed up a few years ago, but once I had a follow-up mammogram along with an ultrasound, I was deemed fine. Last year, no issues; I went in one time for both and I was done. This year, however, was a different story.

A few days after I went in, I was told that something showed up in the mammogram for my right breast, and something else showed up in the ultrasound for my left breast (I have both tests done as part of a study). Day-um, 2 for 2! I can't recall what the woman told me about the latter; I was taking notes on a piece of paper while in a work conference; I lost that paper somewhere in the hotel. But I do recall something about "architectural distortion" which I decided would be a great band name. I scheduled my follow-up for last week, and was only slightly worried going into it. Which for me is pretty good.

I started off with my mammogram, which was not too terrible, and then about 30 minutes later, I went back for additional mammogram pics. Those, however, sucked! After that, I moved on to the ultrasound. During that, the technician said words that spontaneously caused a tear to fall from my eye: "Does breast cancer run in your family?" I did not want this woman to see me cry. I could not stop the tear from exiting my left eye, but I was literally willing the tear to stay in my right eye, since that side was facing her. (It worked.) A few minutes later the doctor in charge of the study I am in came in. She told me my right breast was fine (phew), but she wanted to look further at my left one. She said, "hmm" a few times, which I found unsettling, but within a moment, she explained herself. I can't recall all the words, but the gist of it was there was small/slight mass that was not there previously. If she follows the "rules" of the study, she has to suggest the biopsy. She told me that she was not concerned, and that I should not lose any sleep over this (she clearly does not know me). And she said there was only a 3% chance it was not benign. That is pretty good!

So, I called the next day to make my appointment. I really thought/hoped I could get in right away, especially since I am so close to the hospital and can go in any time. But I guess since I am not a high-risk, there is no compelling reason for that. So I have to wait until July 3. That gives me several weeks to fret, but so far, I am doing okay. 

And hopefully I will continue to not really worry. I also hope my mother does not find out, since she worries about things way more than I do. I figured this blog was remote enough to keep her from discovering this. If I had put this on Facebook, forget it.

I am not really looking forward to the procedure. I am not a fan of needles. But if the end result is good, I am pretty sure I can get through it. Here's hoping the next time I write I have good news.

Ta-ta (pun intended).

Comments

bluzdude said…
Gee, I HOPE we're still friends! I may not be you're whole audience, but I am gaining weight, so I'm becoming a larger audience for you. And I still come see your blog every time you post something new.

So, you're always have me, for when you want to talk about your dense breasts. (And may they remain ever benign. :)
Anonymous said…
I am in the same study (homogeneous dense here -- breasts and head ha ha) --well, probably the same study. I just started this year. I'm praying it's all good for you -- I know how scary it is when they see something they're concerned about (calcifications for me) and this is why we're in the study, right?, can't be too careful, extra attention, free ultrasounds. Be sure to keep us posted. I'm sending all the good thoughts and vibes your way! <3
chris h. said…
Hey, Why the heck did it just make me anonymous? It's chris h. (otherwise known as writingbyear.com)
Facie said…
Bluz and Chris, thanks for the comments. You both make me laugh. I need that. Thanks for continuing the journey with me!

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