Covid Weary

Much like my political leanings have changed over the years (conservative child, liberal college student and young adult, conservative less-young adult, and now more liberal middle-aged adult), my Covid feelings have gone back and forth. Now I am in the take-some-precautions-but-don't-lock-yourself-up boat. 

At the beginning of the pandemic, I was all for staying at home, and I looked down on those who were hanging out with friends. I did not see my dad for nearly 3 months because I was both following the stay-at-home order, and I did not want to expose him to anything, even though I left my house about once every two weeks to pick up a prescription or something, and I avoided people as much as I could. (Thankfully he had a girlfriend at the time who took care of him.) We wiped everything down that came into our house. I bleached most surfaces daily, although my kid had a bad cold at the very beginning, so I was trying to avoid getting that as much as anything else.

When my dad was in the hospital in late May/early June, I did not wear a mask around him, though I did try to stay 6 feet away; that was before wearing a mask became a "requirement" in PA. Lord knows the rules and guidelines were often changing. As the months wore on, and I found myself a regular visitor at the hospital to see my dad, and I worried a lot less about getting it, but I always masked up. By late summer, we stopped wiping down our groceries. I think it took me until mid-September before I ate a meal at a restaurant. 

I let my kid see friends as soon as we went to "green" in early June. Within a few weeks, I let her spend the night at a friend's house. Part of me believes had my dad not been sick and in the hospital so much, and had I not constantly been there, talking to docs, etc., I might have been more cautious with my teen. 

In late July is when things shifted for me. I met one of my anti-mask friends for coffee. As a former nurse and one of my best friends, she was one of my lifesavers as I dealt with many things with my dad. I did not worry as we were sitting there drinking coffee. But I did feel uneasy for about a week. 

And that is how it has gone since then. I have met friends for coffee and eaten ice cream at a local soda fountain/pharmacy a number of times. I have gone to a graduation party outdoors. I filmed an outdoor video with members of my litter group (though we sang inside at the very end) and attended numerous litter pickups, I have been to Phipps twice, and a Steelers game once. I hung out with my brothers and their families and some extended relatives a few times. The week my father died, I spent a ton of time with my brothers, who came from out of state, though both had Covid tests before they got here, and all of us and our families plus other relatives and friends were together for the funeral (masked up), the picnic after, and the rest of the day at my aunt's, mostly outdoors but dinner inside. 

I believe the masks slow and potentially stop the spread of the virus. If you are standing next to me, asymptomatic, and we both have masks on, I don't believe I won't necessarily get it. But I do believe my chances are greatly reduced, and I likely would not get it as bad because there should be less of a viral load coming my way. 

Many of the people who say to open up are the same people who refuse to wear or at least complain bitterly about masks. They have that backward, in my opinion. I do think places should be able to open up with more people. But those people better be wearing masks. 

Of course, if you are in a restaurant, it makes it tough to keep that mask on. Two days ago, I went to Phipps with my anti-masking friend. She moved her mask down as soon as we got past the check-in. I tried to convince her why it was a good idea to mask up. I tried not to face her too much. When we went out to eat after, she asked why my mask was still on when we were seating. I said I was trying to be respectful to the server. I just think it is polite. She has to wear one for us, so I will wear one for her. Plus, you, know. slow the spread. But as I told said friend, if one of us has Covid and does not know it, then with our talking with each other while eating, if we are unlucky that day, the other will get it. 

I have friends who still say on FB: Just stay home. I did that. For several months. I am not going to go hang out in a crowded bar or go to a concert. I am not flying to see my family for Thanksgiving. But I will try to be with people I like/love, taking some precautions. I probably should take more precautions when I am outside (I don't mask up when hanging out with friends in those situations, though I do try to stay back a few feet). I am going to a friend's house in a few weeks. If she asks me to wear a mask, I will. I will probably even offer. But otherwise, I likely won't, but I also won't be sitting super close. 

It is all a risk, and now that my dad is gone, I am taking more risks, within reason. To me, anyway.