Facie’s Ramblings

I consider myself to be extremely self-aware. It is more than that really; unfortunately, I just don't know the correct, most applicable adjective to describe how obvious all my short-comings are to me. I am long-winded. Obviously, I ramble on and on (and on and on) in most posts on this blog. I have little doubt that most of you who read my blog skim it, rather than reading every single word. It's tiring just writing the posts! And I know that I talk too much (and sometimes interrupt people as a result of my talking so much). However, when I am around people whom I don't know well, I am actually pretty good at letting others take over the conversation. At a neighbor's party two weeks ago, I spent about one and a half hours talking to a woman I had just met. Actually, I talked about 15 minutes; my "new friend" pretty much monopolized the rest of the conversation, which was fine by me. I get bent out of shape about things I probably should not. Last week, m...

I subbed four days this week, my most this year. Mostly because of that exhaustion, I have been sitting on a post (in my head) since Monday or Tuesday, trying to decide if I should flesh it out and post it. Since I feel neglectful to this blog, I decided to do it. Earlier this week Jordan told me that when she tried to sit next to a certain girl, whom I will call Dee, at lunch, Dee told Jordan that her mother does not want her to sit by J. Yes, I said that . And as I write this, I am getting angry all over again. What kind of a mother, in a Catholic school no less, says something like that to her kid?! And my kid, although goofy, is honestly one of the kindest kids in the school. Believe me, I am there enough to see this and I certainly hear about it. Here is my take on why this happened. Last fall, I subbed a gym class that Dee was in. A few of Dee's classmates told me that Dee was cheating (that is, when the ball hit her, she would say it did not), and Dee ran off, pouting....

I have no idea what the answer is. But here is the question: How do you "fix" poorly performing school districts? I ask this as much as an educator as a taxpayer and a parent. For many years, the Pittsburgh Business Times has published the " Guide to Western PA Schools ." I have been following this guide since 2005, when the school district I live in ranked 91/105 districts in the area. This year, my district stayed at 98, although it has now dropped to 104/105 in the overachieving rankings, which takes into account the economics of the area. In other words, if you live in a district where people don't make a lot of money but the kids school high on standardized tests, then your school will rank high on this list. In my school district, the kids did just as poorly as you would expect considering the economics. Sigh. What is going on? How can things keep getting worse when my school board has raised taxes a handful of times in the eight years ...

One of my favorite quotes is by George W. Bush. He said this near the end of a speech during which he declared war on Afghanistan. I was at the very first game every played at Heinz Field (delayed several weeks because of 9/11), and we got to listen to this during halftime. My mentioning this quote is not to say that I thought Bush was a great president, because I did not. This post isn't even about Bush. It is about how this quote relates to my tough week of subbing. We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail. I subbed for the same class two days this week and was very tired by the end of the day Tuesday. In some ways, I felt like a failure. I had trouble controlling a few kids in the class. It was almost beyond my comprehension that I would have to tell some of them over and over again to be quiet. I get that it is late in the year. These kids are young and full of energy. I don't necessarily blame them for talking when they should not. But I should not ha...

I admire people who know exactly what they want to do. Maybe it is a long-term plan, but they know that someday they will get there. Or perhaps they have known since they were kids that this is what they were going to do, and they ended up doing it (this pretty much describes my brothers). But me? I am still searching my soul, just as I have been doing, whether consciously or not, for years. The substitute teaching thing is going okay. Most days I think this is what I want to do. I still want to make a difference, leave someone's (several someones, really) life better than it was before I came along. But I have some moments when the kids are so incredibly disrespectful that I think there is no way I can do this full time. At the very least, I am glad that I don't get called more than three days a week, because sometimes even two days feels like five. Seriously. And on days like yesterday, when I have nary a lesson plan to follow and I am forced to make it up as I am going a...

As I read and hear about the latest Big Ben accusation, I am reminded that he has a family. Two parents (a father and step-mom, but I consider them his two parents nonetheless). A sister. Not sure about anyone else. And I can't help but wonder how must they be feeling and reacting to all this, even though he is an adult. As I was thinking about what they are going through, I am taken back to a fall evening during my senior year in high school. My parents were supposed to be gone overnight. I told a few friends about this and was planning to have a handful of them over. I walked to the local grocery store, bought a bottle of pop and a bag of Doritos (yes, I remember exactly what I bought over 21 years ago, but I can't remember half the things people tell me five minutes later). When I arrived on my doorstep, about six or so friends were waiting for me, with some "adult" beverages. Later on, probably another three or four showed up as well. Those details are a little ...

Last week, I had a particularly trying day while subbing. I don't think I have ever gotten through a day without some small challenge, which is typically the loudness of a large class (and for the record, I think having over 30 kids in one class is too many). But usually, all is well that ends well. The day started off fine. By late morning, I bribed one of my toughest (i.e., largest) classes by saying if I did not have to tell them to be quiet more than two times, I would let them out two minutes early. The school has no time between classes, which means that other than the first period, no class really starts "on time." But since this class is right before lunch, and I was hungry and knew we could get through what we needed to, I figured this was an acceptable trade-off. The class was probably about as quiet as it ever was; I did have to say something three times, so, much like I parent, I did not hold completely to my threat, but I called it a success. And as the s...

Today teachers in the Penn Hills School District went on strike. I have followed the Pittsburgh Business Times Western PA Guide to the Schools since 2005. Unfortunately, since then, Penn Hills' rank has dropped from 91 to 98 out of 105 (ranking is based on PSAA scores). And since 2002, school taxes have increased 25 percent. I don't necessarily have a problem with increased taxes (even though I don't use public schools), when there is positive correlation. After all, we, as a community, should feel some responsibility for producing productive, educated citizens. But how can PH justify ever-increasing taxes when scores keep dropping? But, alas, it is never cut-and-dried. I have no doubt that most of the PH teachers work very hard, probably harder than most teachers in the "good" school districts, considering the number of PH students (and parents too, I bet) who really don't care about school and are discipline issues, as compared to those in more affluent ar...

Jordan starts first grade in just over two weeks, and I am rather panicked, thus contributing to my returning insomnia. Kids are under so much pressure to learn a lot and early, and I worry Jordan is not where she should be, even though I worked with her a lot this summer. Fortunately, she does know a lot of sight words, but when it comes to sounding out words, Jordan acts as if she were in increasing pain with every sound she says. But it is more than that. I worry about structure in general. Jordan and I had a great spring and summer together, but I fear I let her play too much. Some of you are probably thinking that sounds crazy; she is a kid. But how can I expect her to learn, pay attention, listen, be good, etc., for about 6.5 hours a day, when she probably has not done any one of those things for more than 30 minutes at a time a few times a day? Ah, the discipline. Jordan, for the most part, respects, even fears, authority. I am hopeful that will continue into first grade. But is...

On Friday, I finished a most exhausting and challenging week, having just completed teaching Vacation Bible School to 14 five-year olds. I can honestly say this past week was more difficult than any week I had had at my job this calendar year. Of course, most of my work weeks were not that busy this year, hence my layoff. For this five-day stint, I had to come up with creative ways to teach the Bible lessons. Unfortunately, due to budget constraints, the church purchased only the teacher and student workbooks (which I received only a week and a half ahead of time), not any of the extras that were referenced throughout the workbooks. And on top of that, besides construction paper, markers, and the like, there were no additional crafty things at my disposal. So I had to improvise. Fortunately, I had some supplies at home. Brian spray painted a box gold (why we had gold paint, I do not know) for the ark of the covenant. I gathered some stones for the students for the same story. I also cu...

As I am typing on the computer, I can hear my dog Sadie snoring in her crate next to me (I put her in there, after tiring of listening to her bark at every car and person who walked by). Sometimes I think about how great it must be to be a dog (or at least one who is loved and well cared for). Our tan-and-white daughter has it made. She sleeps on a couch, has plenty of toys, and is well fed. Best of all, thanks to Brian's working at home and my not working at all, this dog is around people a lot. Sadie loves to be near us (anyone, really), and, strangely, she loves to be hugged. She does not have to worry about paying bills or finding a job. She does not need to think about what she is going to wear today, what she is going to eat, or when she is going to clean various parts of the house or do laundry. She will never struggle with discipline (except she is on the receiving end a lot) or time management. No, her biggest concerns are being fed when the humans wake up and again around...

A former coworker (from when I taught) used to utter that phrase. Today, off and on, has been one of those days. Jordan has driven me crazy, and I know I am mostly to blame for this, as I struggle with discipline. Sometimes, when she is bad (and I hate to use that word), and I start to lose it, I end up saying things like I just want to run away or I ask her if she would prefer a different mommy or I tell her I am tired of her being so disrespectful. I think you should not have such high expectations from your child that you think they will/should listen all the time. Kids test their limits, and I don't think kids are necessarily bad just because they want to do something they know they should not and they try to do it anyway. It is when you remind them that they should be not doing something or when they ask if they can do something and you say no, and they do it anyway or throw a fit, that can be problematic. Some battles I don't bother fighting (or worse, I start to fight th...