Facie’s Ramblings

Yesterday, I nearly finished a lengthy blog post, but then decided against posting it because it was focused on things that made me sad, which is going against the way I am trying to be. Then I took one piece of that post, and worked on that a bit, but that topic was too distressing. Last evening, as I was reading some article about a prison guard being attacked, I thought about writing a more lighthearted post about jobs I would never want to have. But I never actually put fingers to keyboard. So this morning, after being awake way too early, I decided to write about something more personal but hopefully not so negative: friendly relationships I am grateful that I have a handful or more of "true" friends who I know like (or at least accept) me for who I am, with all my faults and quirks, and whom I can trust. If I had only one or two of these people in my life, I would be luckily, but (yeah me!) I have more. Next there are those who although might not be the people I can ...

J survived her first week of fourth grade at her kind-of-new school (two other schools merged with hers). And I survived a week of lunch duty, which I can now smile about. Change is hard for most of us (I am looking right at you, self!). And when many people have to do something completely different, with dozens upon dozens of new faces, in a place they are not used to, well, you should not expect sunshine and lollipops. At least not every day. After my first day of lunch duty this week, I wanted to cry. It was chaotic at times. There are 140 more students than there were last year, and of those students, probably 160 are new to me. So I cannot call many of them by name to get their attention or correct them. In the case of the last lunch (there are three), I have no idea who is in what grade since they can sit wherever they want, which means I often don't know if the correct kids are heading out to recess (we call them a grade at a time). Throughout this week, I saw some kid...

"And what matters at the end of the day is the small things. It’s not the trivial things that so often consume us in our daily lives. It’s how we treat each other and love one another." -President Obama, speaking to a crowd of supporters in Fort Myers, Florida, today Some days I get so weary about what goes on the world. Today is one of those days. I could write about gun control, mental illness, violence in the media, the over-present media in general, or how society has gone to hell in a hand basket. But I instead want to think about being compassionate, doing the right thing, and treating others as you want to be treated. I try to do those very things. Sometimes I fail, even though I so want to succeed. But as I often tell students the day after they have treated me less than kindly, every day is a new day. Here's to tomorrow.

It's funny (and not funny, ha ha) how when you have a baby, you think that it cannot possibly get any harder than this, with the lack of sleeping and the constant worry about almost everything. But as your kids grow up, you realize just how easy you had it back in the day. This morning, I read an article about a mother who choked the boy who was bullying her daughter. Before I even read past the headline, I found myself almost siding with the mom. I would never do anything like that; after all, I am the one, unlike hubby, who tells my kid to turn the other cheek. But I can see how as a parent you could become so frustrated, worried, angry, etc., that you could be pushed to that point. As both a parent and educator (albeit not too regularly for the latter), bullying concerns me. It is sometimes difficult to determine when it is just teasing/being mean and when it has gone beyond that. Of course it would be great if everyone just got along all the time and no one was ever mean t...

When I lie awake at night, often post ideas swim around my head, most of which are pretty good. But when I wake up the next day (or at least when I have the time to sit down and write a post), those great ideas and half-written-in-my-head posts have disappeared. So I just thought I would throw a few things out there. I went to a fashion show today, to support J's school. Considering my near lack of fashion, it is kind of funny, but it was actually a nice time, made better by my winning a small door prize. If nothing else, I was happy to see a pair of medium-length shorts on one of the eight-grade models. Anymore, it seems as if shorts come in two sizes — an inch or two just below the butt or well below the knees, which I guess are not really shorts. Hooray for a happy medium! In case you were wondering, being out of work for three years is kind of like a lifetime. Unfortunately, those few freelance projects over the past few years as well as my share of subbing are just not the...

I am unsure how many times in my life I have questioned why people do the things they do. I have probably done it in this blog a half dozen times or more. I know I wrestle with this at least weekly. I get that people have free will. Any one of us can decide on any given day, hour, or minute whether we are going to do something good or something bad. Something that will help others or something that will hurt others. Something that is "right" and something that is oh-so-wrong. I realize that most of us don't generally do really good or really bad things; we just live our lives. Sometimes we perform a random act of kindness and we are hopefully mostly nice to our family and friends. Other times we say something unkind, are not truthful, and do things we probably should not. But the truth is, I grapple with those little wrongdoings as much as I struggle to wrap my head around the really heinous things people do. Yesterday a man walked into Western Psych, a hospital/ins...

After one week, I managed to send out one thank-you note. Before I reread the post this relates to , I thought I had failed already, as I had sent out just that one note. But fortunately, knowing myself well (duh!), I apparently set a goal for two notes a month. Phew! The first note went to a mom of another third grader in J's school. As I have blogged (and complained) about before, some Catholic school moms are mean, which, I suppose, makes them like some moms in general. And many moms are just not welcoming. This mom, I am delighted to say, was unlike most other moms. When J was new to the school in first grade and many of the moms ignored me, N was the nicest person. As I would stand alone outside of my car at the end of day, waiting for the kids to come out, she would come over and ask me to join her group. She tried to make conversation with me, unlike her mom friends, for most of whom it seemed to be a bother to smile at me. Eventually, I gave up trying to talk to the g...

I am still trying to get the nerve to write a post about my failings as a parent. Just not there yet. But for everything I do wrong and for all the times my kid acts like a teenager, it is nice when J does something that shows me I must be doing some things right. As I have blogged about before, some of J's classmates have been mean to her and have excluded her, which, I know, is pretty normal for kids. Fortunately, she is rarely fazed by this, mostly because she is oblivious. I, on the other hand, continue to let this get under my skin, mostly because my kid goes to a Catholic school, so one might expect the kids to be kind, Christian-like. You know what I am saying? One of J's best friends, whom I will call Kelly, happens to be loved by pretty much all the kids. Kelly is a pretty nice girl, fairly quiet when I sub, and, even better, has never been disrespectful to me, unlike far too many others.  Yesterday when I picked J up from school, I asked her whom she sat with a...

An Indiana County (where I grew up) photographer has pretty much gone viral with the way she stood up to some high school bullies. This woman, Jen McKendrick, came across some online bullying on Facebook. When she realized that some of the bullies had scheduled their senior portraits with her, Jen took a stand and emailed the kids and their parents to tell them that she could not be their photographer because of what they did. As Jen says it, she did not want to spend several hours with people who are ugly on the inside. Here is a link to her blog, which explains what happens in her own words. WTAE Channel 4 in Pittsburgh also featured her in a brief clip yesterday. I "liked" her Jen McKen page yesterday on Facebook, where she now has over 6,600 10,500 12,500 17,000 19,000 followers, up from over 2,000 when the story first came out (I am guessing she had a few hundred, perhaps close to a thousand, followers before all this happened). It was from that FB page I learned t...

I sent Jordan to school today (Friday) with turkey pepperoni. A smarter, less controversial parent would not have done so, but my kid wanted the pepperoni, and she is not doing anything wrong! And now that the kids know the Lenten guidelines, they really should leave her alone. Will they? Well, I guess we will find out. To follow up from earlier this week, the girls at Jordan's table (including Jordan) did meet with the principal on Monday, although no one admitted to taking the sandwich or seeing anything. Regardless, I consider the issue closed, and I hope whoever took it will learn something from this. One of the moms did email me asking what went on, as her kid was apparently upset by the principal confrontation. I emailed her back what I knew, saying that most parents would be concerned if their kid's lunch was taken. I also said it was good for the kids to hear the correct guidelines (of course, Jordan brought in the guidelines and shared them with the kids at lunch pri...

I have been pretty nice over the past year and a half. Well, generally speaking, I have always been a nice person; not too many people would describe me as mean, moody, or bitchy. But as much as I try to be kind (or at least not hurtful or rude), today I just have to say that some people are stupid, as mean as that sounds. Yesterday, some idiot on a bike biked right in front of me. Why was that stupid? Well, I was the second car in line waiting for the green light. Once it turned green, the first car went. Then I started to go. Except I had to stop because this moron bicyclist crossed right in front of me when his light had been red for at least 10 or 15 seconds. And he was biking on the sidewalk. At least he was wearing a helmet... ****  Last week I received a letter from a law firm that represents Duquesne Light (you may recall, we had our second power surge in just over eight months, and many of us think DL is responsible). The letter asked that we complete an inventory s...

Every couple of months, I go through this panic. I worry that we will run out of money and will be forced to start living off our savings. I have said that it is coming, but unfortunately, it is now pretty close. I guess the good news is that Brian seems to be on board with our giving no one Christmas presents this year. :-) I met a friend for lunch yesterday and I told her one of the hardest aspects about the job search and even networking in general is the people who have offered to help but never really did. I neither asked for nor expected anyone to find a job for me. Rather, I thought that the nice former client, former coworker, friend, friend of a friend, etc., might reply to an email I sent. The email might have been a simple question, such as do you know anyone at _______ or can you tell me if your company is hiring or looking for freelance help. Perhaps slightly more work for said non-responder would be an email address for an HR person or a request to use their name (not t...

Today was the first day of second grade for Jordan. She was nervous last night, but she seemed pretty good this morning, much to my pleasure. She got up without a problem (we'll see how long that lasts; my guess is only one day), and we had plenty of time to spare. So much so that I am hopeful I won't have to get up around 6:40 tomorrow as I did today (her alarm went off a few minutes after that). I just don't know how people get up so stinkin' early! I am hopeful this will be a good year. Already she was a bit dismayed when I told her that she will not get to have a morning snack in second grade (I thought it was kind of odd that they had that in first grade), but she seemed to get over that pretty fast. I have no idea how academics will play out. This summer we spent most days working on a couple of pages from a workbook her first grade teacher recommended, which typically took about 10 minutes. In July we also starting reviewed basic math flash cards most days. S...

Heather, over at Pittsburgh Mom , recently wrote a post about the division of labor. She was contemplating learning how to hook up their camper, which is something her husband normally did, because she is a do-everything kind of gal. But her sister-in-law said that she refuses to learn how to do it because it will just be one more job she has to do. So Heather asked us, her sisters in Pgh Mom, how we handled the division of labor in our houses, and if there were things that we did not want to learn how to do just so these things would not become our jobs. I don't know about you, but the division of labor in our house does not always go smoothly. In theory, it should, because as I said on Pgh Mom, we both do what we are good at. For example, I am a much, much better cleaner than Brian. The times when he cleans up after dinner, he does not typically consider cleaning out the sink and sweeping the floor part of that job. I guess because they don't have the word "dishes...

Earlier today, I wrapped up my second year of Vacation Bible School. Last year was a very good experience, but also quite challenging, because not only had I not taught kids since the early '90s and was out of practice, but I also was dealing with an autistic child, something I had never done before. This year was really great. I was no longer a novice. I had taught 12 out of the 13 students throughout the school year, so I knew them pretty well. I had seven year olds, who can read and (surprisingly) are willing to act out parts from the stories (most of them, anyway). They can go to the bathroom by themselves. And best of all, I never lost anyone or even worried about it as I did last year. :-) This is not to say that there weren't some challenging moments. A few kids would color or play their DS while we were going over the lesson. Some were unkind to others at times. A couple of them complained about various things. But honestly, those minor things hardly bothered me. I ...

Well, I waited a day to pen my latest rant, so without further delay, here it is: Some people kind of suck. Let me start off by saying that I am not perfect; I have many faults, most of which are readily apparent to those who know me. But I really make an effort to treat those around me--family, friends, and strangers--just as I want to be treated. With kindness and compassion. I try to give a little. And I truly believe if people treated one another better, if they focused more on others and less on themselves, we could solve a lot of the world's ills. But lately it seems as if every time I open up the paper, read a magazine, or go online, I am bombarded by the transgressions of some celebrity (music, TV, movie, sports or otherwise) or politician. I sometimes wonder if it is not so much that people have gone downhill, but more that thanks to technology, we just get to find out about every bad deed five minutes after it happened. Or have we as a society become so self-centered,...

I think I am a pretty nice person overall. I don't say that in a full-of-myself sort of way, but more that I just try to be nice to people, even when they are not to me. I do not like to hurt other people's feelings. And rejecting people makes me feel uneasy. That is why I have medical records at approximately seven eye doctors, three dentists, three ob-gyns, and two family practices. I never had the heart to tell any of them that I did not like something about them and was moving on (part of the reason is the Seinfeld syndrome). Even on the few occasions when I was leaving because I or my work location moved, I could not make the call. Recently we "interviewed" two window people, and I liked both of them and their offerings. Since their prices are less than 50 bucks apart, it makes it hard to choose. The second one did show up late for the appointment, but he was very apologetic (and he did have to go through two tunnels). I wanted to get a third quote, but I dread...

For many years, I had several best friends. A bit of a contradiction, I realize, since there really should be only one "best." But mostly I just considered myself fortunate to have different people I could talk to. When Brian and I dated, I did not consider him my best friend in the way many people in relationships do. In fact, sadly, I was closer to a few of my guy friends. But when Brian and I got back together again in the later '90s after a three- or four-month hiatus, I realized one should not be closer to her male friends than her actual guy. Fortunately, our relationship evolved to the point where I did consider him my best friend. As time has gone on, I discovered that by being so involved in/with my husband and child, I no longer have many close friends, let alone a best friend. I get that your family should be your top priority; I got a taste of this when many friends started having kids before I, and we pretty much stopped going out. I swore I would never d...

Here is what is on my noodle today, in no particular order:   Yes, the snow is pretty and all. And I won't even say that it would be fine with me if it does not snow again until December (except I just did). But I will say, I am done with excessive snow and the ensuing snow days that seem to keep on coming. And I am even more irritated that some schools want to get out of teaching 180 days. The kids need it, and I pay a lot for my kid's education besides. I read a somewhat disturbing but not too surprising article about how being laid off affects your health. I am really trying to be positive about my situation, and most of the time I am, but I can't help feeling a little down and of course worried sometimes. Not as worried as Brian, however, and we all know what worry can lead to. Speaking of health, which leads me to health insurance, is it any wonder that people ignore their health problems when they have little or crappy insurance? I was having some weird pa...

Often when Jordan and I are in the car together, she hears me telling people at the bus stop to have a nice day or profusely thanking and blessing the people who let me in their lanes. Jordan typically reminds me that these people can't hear what I am saying since the windows are up and we are driving by. But I tell her I like to say nice things and perhaps these people are feeling my good vibes. As much as I can, I try to let cars turn in front of me, so much so that Jordan will sometimes ask why I did not let a car go. Most of the time it is because traffic is moving, and doing so could cause an accident. But she gets that it is a nice thing to do. And it is such a simple thing to do. The "theme" for Jordan's school this year is kindness. I truly believe if we could all make an effort to be kinder, the world would be a better place. I sometimes wonder what makes people unkind. Are we all too busy in our lives to let a person with a couple of items go ahead of us in ...