Facie’s Ramblings

Ten (nine, oops, bad math) years ago, I celebrated my first Mother's Day. I don't actually remember a thing about it, including where I was or whom I was with. My mom may or may not have been working (if the latter, then I was not with her). I may have been here with the hubby, the kid (who was a baby at the time), and most likely my MIL. The hub's grandmother was still living in SC with his (now deceased) grandfather, so they probably were not there. We could have been at my MIL. Or, actually, we could have been at the hubby's restaurant (or maybe he was no longer there). Yep, no clue. What I do remember is the Mother's Day before that. I, just over five months pregnant, took my mom to Heinz Field for a brunch. When we arrived upstairs, the hostess was handing out these nice, thick hardcover Steelers books to the moms. She asked me if I was a mom, and I recall touching my stomach and saying, "In utero!" Fortunately I got the book. :-) I don't remem...

Late this afternoon my (mostly) lovely eight-year-old and I were lying in my bed reading. J, a biography about Ben Franklin for a book report and I, a trashy magazine my MIL gave me. At one point, J told me that she did not understand something. Now this book was geared towards fourth graders, at least according to the library. But since the book is almost 15 years old, what was considered fourth grade then is pretty much third grade now, so I thought it was just right for her. And it certainly did not seem above her reading level, except for a few words here and there she could not pronounce. But, no. J was not struggling with a word. Rather, J looked at me, read the phrase "because he had gotten a girl pregnant" aloud, and then asked, "How do you get a girl pregnant?" What?!!!! My heart started pounding, my face got red, and I started stuttering. I think I said something like, "That is a good question. Hmm. Uh... Well... You know, it is hard to expl...

I spent the past 1.5 weeks subbing for the music teacher (who also teaches social studies to third graders). The last time I went to work five days in a row, Jordan was in utero. That was a long time ago. Anyway, I have come away with some observations: My mom was right when she said I should have practiced the piano more. My trying to play songs with the kids was not a smooth thing. In my mind, I could play whatever was in front of me, but my fingers had a different idea. Probably because I can't sight read anything. Oh, well. If I never hear "Wiggle Worm" again, that would be just fine for me. However, the K through 3rd grade kids love moving around to that song and then trying to stand like a statue. What they don't like is when I tell them they have moved and then they have to sit down. Those who talk the loudest often sing the softest. But boy can they "scream-sing." Ugh. The one kindergarten class was surprisingly attentive when I tried to teach...

In the P-G (and the Trib too, I think) the other day was an article about PA making the amount of food stamps that people receive contingent upon their assets. People under age 60 with more than $2,000 in savings and other assets, such as a second car, will no longer be eligible for food stamps. For people over 60, the limit is $3,250. I agree that assets should be considered. If someone has, let's say, $50,000 in savings but is making only minimum wage, I don't think that person should get food stamps. After all, they have plenty in the bank to pay for every day expenses. But to say, for example, that a 35-year-old single parent who scrimped to save $3,000 over the past five years for an emergency should be denied food stamps when another person who never bothered to save a dime should get assistance is, quite simply, unfair. And what if two parents both need a car to go to work? The bus is not the most feasible situation for everyone, so why punish those pe...

It is hard to believe another year has passed since the day that probably 99 percent of the women out there dread. Oh, how I loathe my annual exam, but I am happy to report that two things happened to make it not so awful this year. Through the apparently thin walls, I could hear the heartbeat of an unborn baby. I have no idea what that instrument is called (the one that allows you to hear the heartbeat of an in-utero baby), but as I heard that sound from so long ago, my eyes immediately watered. The memories of that whoosh-whoosh-whoosh noise, from over eight years ago, came flooding back, and I was immediately reminded of the first time I heard Jordan's heart beating from inside by stomach. At the time, I had no idea what the sound was, and I had to ask the nurse if that was my baby's heartbeat. She said yes, and my eyes welled with tears. I also remember the next time, when it took awhile for the instrument to pick up Jordan's heartbeat. I was supposed to get a so...

A few days ago, I saw a disturbing story on the news. A dead baby was found in suitcase on an Erie street. Apparently, a woman starved her 14-month old, left her to die, stuffed her in suitcase, and then put that suitcase in her neighbor's trash can. You can read the story in the PG . Other than this woman murdering her child, the thing that really gets me riled up is this: In addition to the baby she birthed and killed, this 20-year-old woman also has a two- and a three-year old as well as one on the way. So for the past four years, this woman has gotten pregnant, had a baby, gotten pregnant a few months after giving birth, had a second baby, gotten pregnant a few months after giving birth, had a third baby, and gotten pregnant for the fourth time. Isn't that lovely? This woman should be sterilized, plain and simple. If that seems too strong (and I don't think it is), then she should be forced to receive monthly birth control shots or be inserted with that device that ...

This past weekend I went to State College (Penn State) for Arts Fest, which is technically called the Central Pennsylvania Festival of the Arts. The first few years after I graduated, I was a fairly frequent visitor of Dear Old State, but as the years went by, eventually just about everyone I knew graduated or moved. And then I had a kid; my last time at Penn State was for a football game in 2002, probably a month before I got pregnant. In some respects, it seemed a lot like it was when I left. Most of the same buildings were there. Students waited in long lines to get into bars. I would walk past a place, and a memory would come rushing back. But, of course, there were many changes. New buildings. Shinier things. Recycling was everywhere. The Loop bus was nowhere to be found (I think there is a different version of it, and it is not blue). A few times, I caught myself missing the college life and wishing I could turn back time and do it all over again. Learning. Going to...

Some would argue that it is not up to others to decide who should have kids. Some of those same people would probably also say that it is not up to anyone to tell others that they must prevent a pregnancy, particularly using artificial means. But every time I read a story like the one I read today in the PG, I always jump to the other side of the fence. A couple with three kids, ages two months, 15 months, and just over two years old, was charged with homicide in the death of their youngest. You can read about it here . This same couple has also been charged with endangering the welfare of children for failing to feed their 15-month-old son. One could presume their two-year old is fine since that kid was not mentioned, but I can't be that presumptuous. An excuse the mother used is that she never received prenatal care. Apparently for that reason, she thought feeding the kid two ounces of formula a day was enough (It has been awhile since I had a baby, but aren't there som...

Late this afternoon, I read that Kelly Frey, a news anchor for WTAE in Pittsburgh, had her baby today. If you don't know the back story, you can read about it here. The gyst of it is early in her pregnancy, Kelly discovered her baby had a major brain defect and likely would die soon after birth. She and her husband decided to terminate the pregnancy, but when they discovered doing so (look, I cannot even write the "a" word) would not be covered by his health insurance, they took it as a sign to keep the baby. A local photographer beautifully captured the birth here, and the pictures are at once heart-warming and gut-wrenching. Kelly and her husband's difficult situation brings me back to something I think about almost daily (and mentioned in passing in one of my blog posts). This past April, two kids who went to the same preschool Jordan did were killed in a car accident while riding with their father on the way to his house in New York. I had never met the mom until...

I have complained about health care here and on Facebook a number of times. As I have said, I don't have the energy to read through over 1,000 pages to figure out what this reform is all about, especially knowing the final bill will look different from what is out there now. But I am all for making things better in the health-care industry. I am a pretty open person, but when it comes to complaining about medical care, I tend to keep my mouth shut. Why? I pretty much blame it on an episode of Seinfeld, when Elaine complained, and a doctor wrote something in her file. I seriously worry that if I say something, I will have a black mark on my file. I have a litany of complaints with the ob-gyn practice I have been going to for about 10 years. It started when I was pregnant and one of the doctors told me I could have two mixed drinks a day. What doctor, in the 21st century, would give you advice like that?! Don't enough doctors get sued? Only one doctor in the practice bothered to ...

I am still angry about the ridiculous mom of 14 children (my how I miss writing about the Steelers). My boss and others do not understand why I care or am so mad about it. When he was laughing at me/about it, at that moment, I wanted to quit my job and start trying to have more kids; perhaps three or four. Why not sponge off the government? So many others are doing it. Despite what some of you may think, I am not against government assistance programs. Some people need help because of circumstances beyond their control. Shouldn't we help the family whose head of household lost his or her job? And by help, I also mean charitable donations. I know I am better off than a lot, and I try to share some of this, now more than ever. But why should taxpayers help those who take little to no responsibility for themselves and their actions? A single woman who is not working yet living on disability should not have herself implanted with six embryos. That she had six kids already makes it more...

When I first read about the woman who had eight babies, and I immediately assumed via in-vitro fertilization, my first reaction was that was insane. But when I stepped back, I tried to be sympathetic, thinking perhaps she cried herself to sleep for years wanting a baby so much. I know women who were in that situation, and I support their wanting to have a baby by whatever methods they chose. But my feelings of understanding lasted probably five minutes. Why have eight embryos implanted? As I understand it, IVF is expensive (around 10k?), so I get not wanting to implant only one or two embryos and then risk having to go through it all over again. But what normal person could afford to take care of that many babies at once, both financially and mentally (John and Kate do seem to have it together)? You have to assume that all embryos could be implanted and therefore turn into real, live babies that you will now have to take care of. And having that many babies in one pregnancy is harder ...