Facie’s Ramblings

This weekend, I got about 8 hours of sleep two nights in a row. That surpassed the number of nights I got 8 hours of sleep the previous 20 days. I have not slept well this month of August. Between work stress and my mom moving, and throwing in anxiety about my kid starting 7th grade and worrying about various things around that, sleep is elusive. But I don't want to dwell on that. I want to just acknowledge the weekend for what it was. It was busy at times. But it was a good weekend. I slept. I had some Blue Moons. I liked the cinnamon one; I was not fond of the spiced chai one. I cut three weeks' worth of coupons. I cleaned the bathtub well (every 2-3 weeks, I give it a deep scrubbing/cleaning; the other weeks it gets a perfunctory wipe-off). I went through my credit card receipts. I watched some TV with the kid. I slept. I spent some time with the hubby, just hanging out. I walked the dog, and I ran the dog. I lifted weights. I went with J to a frien...

I have a handful of thought in my head (and by a handful, I think I mean about 30). So rather than try to pick one topic, I am going to bullet point some. Let's see how many "some" actually ends up being... When the Penguins are done with hockey, so am I. I am not even sure who is still playing and if we are down to the final teams. I think the Rangers are or were in it. But that is all I know. I really like hockey, but as a true Pens fan who watches pretty much every single game, starting in October, once the Pens are done, I typically have had enough. Let the record show that I rarely complained this winter. So many people talked about how hard/bad the winter was. I did not see it that way. I am guessing that is because I drove to work this winter, unlike last winter, when I found myself waiting for the bus in frigid temps quite a bit. Even 5 or 6 minutes in windchills at -5 or even 0 degrees tends to bring you down. So this winter was like a picnic in comparison. I...

I had a pretty good title for this post, but it escapes me, probably because I actually wrote two different posts for what this will end up being. Which is loooong. I was in NC from Thursday afternoon until Monday morning. And man, did we fit a lot into those few days. It started off pretty smoothly. Because flying stresses me out and we had to go through two tunnels, J and I left the house, 30 miles away, about 2.75 hours before our flight was scheduled to leave. Even though it took us just under 40 minutes to get there, I still felt nervous, so I decided not to wait for the airport van/shuttle that takes you from a shelter in extended parking to the beginning of the airport. I was afraid the next one might not come for 30 minutes (I did not walk up to a shelter to actually confirm this). After dragging several bags for over 10 minutes, I regretted that decision. Fortunately, we made it through security pretty quickly, although clearly the novices we are at flying, we had a full ...

Almost two weeks ago J and I spent a few days at my mom's while my older brother and his family (as well as my little brother's oldest) were there. My older brother is all about doing something fun and/or different when we are together, whereas I am just happy to hang out, since I tend to see him about three times a year. His suggestion this time was a trip to the Punxsutawney Weather Discover Center, which was about 45 minutes from Mom's. It was a small, but neat, place, and I learned a few things (nothing that I can remember, unfortunately). The kids, who ranged in age from almost 7 to 11, were mostly enthralled with a slide that ended in a bunch of foam blocks; the idea is to feel as if you are in a tornado. I thought doing a mock weather forecast was kind of cool, but the kids were less impressed. Representing my two favorite Pittsburgh sports teams while on air When were finished, a woman working there gave us a directions to see Punxy Phil. Even though I ...

As of 12 p.m. yesterday, I am off until 1/5, without having to take any vacation days. Ah, the perks of working for a university. :-) This year, our actual Christmas Eve/Day celebration(s) will be about the least eventful I can recall. The hub's mom and grandma were to come down just this afternoon, and then we would head to 5 p.m. mass, for which J and the children's choir would be singing. But unfortunately the MIL came down with the flu or something, so here we are on Christmas Eve, with nothing much to do. My mom has been in TX visiting with my little brother and his family for almost four weeks now. She should be back this weekend, so we will celebrate, just after the fact. But it is just weird for me not to be around my family (besides my immediate family) during these few days. I am pretty sure the kid still believes in Santa, so there is that , but I am also pretty sure I will tell her what is what afterwards (or maybe tonight, if she brings up putting out milk and ...

For about four years, J and I would visit my mom approximately every other week (not counting that bad/sad/dark period when my mom was ill and living many states away). Since I worked only sporadically and am close to my mom, it was pretty easy to have frequent visits. During that same four-year period, I would also go to multiple grocery stores most weeks, to get the best price on things. Particularly during the school year, when I had many hours most weekdays to myself, it just made sense. Plus, for some odd reason, I get a rush when I combine double coupons with a sale at one store and then price match with two or three different circulars at another store. When I went back to work full time last April, I tried to continue to do those very things. But eventually I realized that I cannot live my life as if I am home many hours during the week when I am typically out of the house at just after 7:30 a.m. and I do not return until close to 6 p.m. My mom has not taken my fewer visits...

Before I launch into a woe-is-me tale, let me tell you how bad I feel about complaining, knowing how many good things I have in my life and how much worse off others are. But I feel the need to get this off my chest. Unfortunately as much as I like my job, I find myself staying late pretty often. I had one blissful, leave-on-time week two weeks ago, which I thought was how it was going to be for the next month or so, but, well, um, no. We have deadlines. And, more than that for me/the bigger reason is I want my materials to be perfect or nearly so; I am unwilling to let pretty much anything slip past me. As a result, I find myself doing a lot of extra work/going the extra mile. So after putting my time in (and often eating at my desk), I walk the 10 minutes to my car, sit at every light imaginable (seriously, can we just computerize those babies after 5:30 or 6?!), suffer through tunnel traffic, even after 6 p.m., and I am home late (duh). Some days I eat with my family; more often...

Ten (nine, oops, bad math) years ago, I celebrated my first Mother's Day. I don't actually remember a thing about it, including where I was or whom I was with. My mom may or may not have been working (if the latter, then I was not with her). I may have been here with the hubby, the kid (who was a baby at the time), and most likely my MIL. The hub's grandmother was still living in SC with his (now deceased) grandfather, so they probably were not there. We could have been at my MIL. Or, actually, we could have been at the hubby's restaurant (or maybe he was no longer there). Yep, no clue. What I do remember is the Mother's Day before that. I, just over five months pregnant, took my mom to Heinz Field for a brunch. When we arrived upstairs, the hostess was handing out these nice, thick hardcover Steelers books to the moms. She asked me if I was a mom, and I recall touching my stomach and saying, "In utero!" Fortunately I got the book. :-) I don't remem...

I have been thinking about forgiveness lately. I know some other bloggers have blogged about it (I forget which ones; I read too many), and I have commented on various posts. I also have discussed the topic with friends and family as of late. So it was fitting that forgiveness and reconciliation were the topics in yesterday's church reflections group I often attend. For years I used to think you could not forgive someone unless that person said he was sorry and truly meant it. Many people can do the former but not really mean it. And then one can be sincere in his apology, but continue to do the same things over and over. As a result, I had trouble forgiving some people for their wrongdoings. Over the years, and particularly in the past year, I have come to realize that sometimes we must forgive others for our well-being; it may not have anything to do with what they have said or (failed to say), but rather how we feel. According to Psych Central, forgiveness is letting go o...

When I refer to TMI, I am not talking about people sharing (often gross) things they probably should not. But rather sharing a friend's or a relative's personal information with a spouse or significant other. I know people who have cheated on their spouses, had abortions, have been raped or victims of domestic violence, committed (minor) criminal acts, did not disclose things to the government that they should have, suffered from various mental aliments, and who have been drug addicts or alcoholics. In most cases, I have not shared that information with Brian unless the person told me I could or I felt he needed to know for family safety issues (e.g., you have to consider who you let your children around). I am certain he would think less of some of these people if he knew things they did, so what purpose does it serve telling him? But more importantly, I want these people who confide in me to know they have my word. I can honestly say I don't think I can trust any of ...

I wish I could subscribe to the quality, not quantity theory, but for whatever reason, I don't. I'd like to blame it on Catholic guilt, because that is convenient. I could also blame it on some people who make me feel guilty, but I suppose I can choose not to feel guilty. But there are few people who make me feel as guilty as I make myself at times. Regardless of whose "fault" it is, I would be nice and healthy if I could care more about what I am doing and living in that moment and care less about counting every single minute and worrying it is not enough. I had a nice Christmas break, and it is not even over yet. I managed to spend a good bit of time with my older brother and his family, which is nice because they live about nine driving hours away. I also got in extra time with my mom, hanging out with her briefly just a week before Christmas, spending two nights a few days later, and then spending time with her and the bro/family the latter part of this week. La...

Every year at this time, I find myself scrambling to get everything done. Yet I don't bake, I tend to have fewer than 15 presents to wrap, and I work only sporadically. So what is my excuse for being so behind?! My biggest labor of love during the month of December is creating an online photo album for both my and Brian's moms. It is an arduous process. I go through the hundreds of digital photos I have taken and saved the past year, upload them to a site, and place them in a suitable layout for each page of the album. Since more than half of the pictures I take come from my crappy, stupid phone, I have to make sure they are small enough to look decent. And it never fails that as soon as I think I am nearly finished, I realize I forgot to include a really great picture in one of the layouts, which means I have to redo the page to fit more pictures or I have to part with a picture I really liked. Despite the time this takes, it is a gift for me as much as it is for our moms ...

I like to celebrate a birth weekend or a three-day birth anniversary whenever I can. Why limit yourself to just one day out of 365?! So, of course, in advance of today, the big 4-0, I decided to start my celebrating on Saturday. It started off on a small scale. I took Jordan to the Home Depot for one of those kids' workshops. With no hammering and a few screws, it was right up my alley. And, I was able to lift and carry the full propane tank back to the car, so clearly I am not over the hill! We followed that up with a quick trip to Kohl's, where I treated myself to a new wallet. Even waiting in a 20-person-deep line could not dampen my spirits, what with my happily telling the two people in front of me and one behind me that I was turning 40 on Monday. Yesterday was the real highlight. With my Steelers Santa cap and Hines Ward jersey on and my Terrible Towel in pocket, I headed downtown, where I got to park for free! I had a nice walk across the Roberto Clemente Bridge and...

I have a handful (well, maybe two handfuls) of things on my noodle, starting with a memorable Thanksgiving, so let's get right to it! Not sure which I will remember more about Thanksgiving day, my adult cousin's obscene t-shirt that he refused to remove for me or my three-year-old nephew trying to hit Jordan with a two-pound weight, but missing her and instead nailing his older brother in the head, which resulted in a trip to the ER . Good times! I wish my brothers and their families lived closer. I tend to be all about quantity since I typically see them only two or three times a year, and it gets crazy with so many people, including seven kids ages eight and under, in one small place. In one week I will be 40 . I still think I am okay with that. Ask me again next week at this time. Some people are idiots. I realize I did not say anything new there, but Black Friday tends to bring out the biggest morons and jag-offs in full force. Ugh. Speaking of jag-offs, while in I...

May your travels be safe, your food be yummy, your family fights be limited (or, better yet, non-existent), and may you find at least one thing to be thankful for. I have many blessings, which I will try to remember over these next few days, particularly while sitting in traffic, being annoyed by a family member, or moaning about how much I have overeaten. I need to remember that I have a car to drive, family to visit, and food to eat. Yes, I am indeed blessed. Happy Thanksgiving! Oh, and can I just say that I am also thankful that Sidney Crosby is back on the ice and that I won tickets to see the Nutcracker. Almost makes me forget about my dead TV. :-)

A blog I visit from time to time recently had a post about free-writing. Well, that was the part of the post that most intrigued me: Kristen explained how she responded to a simple prompt of "I" and went on to write about herself uncensored for five minutes. As my 40th birthday looms ahead (just over two months), I decided to try this free-write myself. So here goes nothing, off the cuff, from the heart. I... I worry a lot, about more things than I should. I love my kid and my husband more than anything else. I love my kid more than my husband, and I know I probably should not. I like football and hockey, to watch. I am a Steelers fan first and a Penn State fan second. Once I had a kid, I decided it was okay not to watch too many PSU games, but I do my best to watch all the Steelers games. I don't think you should leave sporting events early unless you have an emergency or some pressing concern; whether it is a blowout or a close game, I want to ...

I hope all of you had a nice 4th of July. I took some time to look over the Declaration of Independence, to remind myself of what the holiday is about. But let's face it, fireworks, cooking out, and spending time with family and friends are a nice part of the day too. Here are a couple pics of some of the fireworks going off. We went to Monroeville this year to see them. I just can't bring myself to drive downtown with all the Regatta traffic. Turns out my tendency towards oldness was a good thing this year since everyone who went down early got drenched. On the other hand, we drove right into a store's parking lot about 20 minutes before the bombs were bursting in air, had a great view, spent some time together as a family, and were home about 15, maybe 20 minutes after the light display ended. I will not dwell on the jagoffs two streets over who were setting off fireworks until after 1 a.m. this morning. I won't think about the state of the union right now. I wi...

On more than one occasion, I have blogged about my having only one kid and the grief that has caused me. Grief is really a strong word, but I don't know which word is the right word. Having one kid was a mostly intentional choice. Years ago we had decided that once we sold our house and moved into our larger one, we would try to have another kid. But we put our house on the market a year later than we anticipated, and by that time, I had gotten over the desire for another kid. Good thing, because we are still here in this same smallish house, in this crappy, crappy school district! Most days I am glad that I am able to devote myself to my one child; she does not have to share my affection with anyone else. But, as I have mentioned countless times here and to others, it can be difficult being your child's playmate. I can take only so many Barbies, babies, and princess play times. I can never say, "Go play with your sister." But I love reading to my kid and enjoy most...

Be forewarned: Keeping true to my blog title, the following is going to be quite rambling. If you are reading this, you are probably aware of some of the crap that has been going on with actor Charlie Sheen. I have kept up with it because one of my Facebook "friends" is the P-G TV critic, and he has been regularly posting Charlie-related tweets on Facebook. I am also somewhat interested in the saga because I know people who have struggled with drug addiction, and I have seen firsthand what that stuff can do to you. I can still see the scary face/eyes of someone I know when he was strung out, back about five years ago. Think of the darkest circles you have ever had under your eyes, and multiple that by 10. In fact, last year at the park, when a mother introduced me to her teenage son, he had the same look, and it scared the crap out of me. I wondered if I should say something to her, but ultimately decided not to, since I knew her only casually and worried I was wrong anyw...

Last night, there was some turbulence in our house, for lack of a better word. The impetus was food (and actually not my cooking, surprisingly). Things were said, and I eventually got so mad that I left. Drove away. After first telling my kid that I loved her and kissing her good bye. Up until I was a senior in high school, my parents almost never fought. From the time I was born (or from the time I could actually start remembering things) until I was in my mid teens, I recall only three fights my parents had. They seemed pretty bad at that time, and I still remember a few details from each, but the other thousands upon thousands of days of my life, my parents were pretty happy together. We had a really great family life. Unfortunately, things started to go a little south my senior year in high school before getting worse my freshman year of college. I actually don't remember things being as bad my sophomore year, but that was the last year my parents were together, so... Why a...