A few weeks ago, I received an email from a high school classmate on behalf of the reunion committee, soliciting our feedback to help plan next year's 20-year reunion. How can it be that I graduated 19 years ago? In some ways, I feel as if I am exactly the same person in both personality and looks as I was years ago, yet in many other ways, I am a completely different person.
Over the Easter weekend, I happened to run into two classmates while in my mother's town, which is fewer than 15 miles from where I graduated from. In both cases, I had not seen either of these ladies since our last reunion, which I found kind of ironic, at least in an Alannis Morrisette kind of way. When I first noticed Christine, I was not entirely sure it was she. She was sitting behind me in the cry room during the longest Good Friday service I had ever attended, and when our eyes met, she did not seem to recognize me. Finally, after the veneration of the cross, I went up to her, said her name, and she looked shocked and had no idea who I was. I was really hoping it was not because I had aged badly, but you never know. Regardless, it was nice to see her, and I told her hopefully I would see her at the reunion next year (it is kind of difficult to catch up during mass).
The next day, while at the country club, I ran into Mary Ann. She came up to me, said my name, and I looked at her blankly, but she immediately said who she was before I had a chance to guess. In both cases, I think they look mostly the same, yet why did I recognize one and not the other?
When our 10-year reunion was upon us, I wanted to make sure I lost a few pounds. Strangely enough, I had gotten married earlier that year, and was not so concerned about losing weight for that. I guess it was because I had pretty much been the same weight for years (and still am now), and I figured I did not need to go back to my skinny self for the wedding. But when it came to high school, I did not want my classmates to see the 10+ pounds I had gained soon after I graduated.
So how about for this reunion? Early next year, will I again start to obsess about my weight? Part of me almost hopes so; I have gotten too accepting of what I look like. But the other part of me is glad that I can embrace who I am, that I realize it is more important that I am a good mother to my kid, a good wife to my husband (both of which I am still working on), a good worker at my job, and a decent person overall. I don't think we should let ourselves go just because we become parents, are in a relationship, or because we are too lazy to do otherwise. But I also think you can't beat yourself up and become too focused on something physical. After all, beauty is only skin deep.
Over the Easter weekend, I happened to run into two classmates while in my mother's town, which is fewer than 15 miles from where I graduated from. In both cases, I had not seen either of these ladies since our last reunion, which I found kind of ironic, at least in an Alannis Morrisette kind of way. When I first noticed Christine, I was not entirely sure it was she. She was sitting behind me in the cry room during the longest Good Friday service I had ever attended, and when our eyes met, she did not seem to recognize me. Finally, after the veneration of the cross, I went up to her, said her name, and she looked shocked and had no idea who I was. I was really hoping it was not because I had aged badly, but you never know. Regardless, it was nice to see her, and I told her hopefully I would see her at the reunion next year (it is kind of difficult to catch up during mass).
The next day, while at the country club, I ran into Mary Ann. She came up to me, said my name, and I looked at her blankly, but she immediately said who she was before I had a chance to guess. In both cases, I think they look mostly the same, yet why did I recognize one and not the other?
When our 10-year reunion was upon us, I wanted to make sure I lost a few pounds. Strangely enough, I had gotten married earlier that year, and was not so concerned about losing weight for that. I guess it was because I had pretty much been the same weight for years (and still am now), and I figured I did not need to go back to my skinny self for the wedding. But when it came to high school, I did not want my classmates to see the 10+ pounds I had gained soon after I graduated.
So how about for this reunion? Early next year, will I again start to obsess about my weight? Part of me almost hopes so; I have gotten too accepting of what I look like. But the other part of me is glad that I can embrace who I am, that I realize it is more important that I am a good mother to my kid, a good wife to my husband (both of which I am still working on), a good worker at my job, and a decent person overall. I don't think we should let ourselves go just because we become parents, are in a relationship, or because we are too lazy to do otherwise. But I also think you can't beat yourself up and become too focused on something physical. After all, beauty is only skin deep.
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