Facie’s ramblings

Assessment crap

2012-02-01T11:10:00.000-05:00

I am certain I have never used the word "crap" in blog post title, but crap is pretty much what I consider the Allegheny County reassessment mess. This is a long post, but I have to get it out.

When we bought our house in 2002, we paid $87,000 for it. At the time, it was assessed for $92,300. I clearly remember the settlement agent telling us we should appeal to get it down to $87,000. I decided not to bother since I had hoped to sell our house within three to five years and wanted to get more than what we paid for it.

We tried unsuccessfully to sell our house back in 2007 and 2008. At that time, the only offer we had was too low. But looking back, we probably should have taken it, because I am very confident that today, we would not get that 90k for our house.

Not only is the market bad, but we live in an area where home values have been on the decline. We live on a cul-de-sac, but on the street we use to get to ours, out of about 15 houses that sold over the past three years, the average price was about $73,000. Another street off that same street (which is not on a cul-de-sac) had home prices that averaged about $43,000 in that same three-year period. Only one house has sold on our street in the past three years, and it was for $123,000, but you can't base much on number.

So what does the great Ozsessor think our house is worth? Why, over $100,000! As I said on Facebook, if someone wants to pay that much for our house, I will sell it tomorrow. We would NEVER get it in our area. Interestingly enough the assessor thinks that the 123k house on our street, which is about the same size as ours, is worth $95,000. So let me get this straight: Our house is now worth over $13,000 more than what we paid for it, but the house two houses down is somehow worth almost $30,000 less than what they paid for it? Come again?

Even better is our next-door neighbor, whose house sold for $117,000 back in 2004. The great assessor thinks his abode is now worth $86,000, which is a decrease of more than $30,000.

For the record, I have right in front of me the house printouts (the one that lists room dimensions) for my house and those two above from when each last sold. According to what is on each of those papers, the houses all have about 1200 square feet inside. Yes, each house is styled slightly differently, but it is not as if I am trying to compare a 3,000 square foot tudor on 1.5 acres with a 1,000 square foot townhouse. Worth noting is that according to the county website, our house and the 123k bought/95k assessed house have about 1,750 square feet whereas the 117k bought/86k assessed house has less than 1,500 square feet.

Even if my taxes end up not going up (which is a possibility, because as I understand it, values greater than 25 percent are the ones who will feel the pain), I cannot let this ridiculousness go. These numbers are so arbitrary that I have to wonder if someone just had a bunch of numbers on a dartboard and picked numbers based on where the darts landed.

Grrrr.

In praise of a heartfelt note

2012-01-29T09:11:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago in Parade magazine (the supplement that comes in many Sunday newspapers), I read this article, "Up Your Gratitude: Thank-You Notes Can Have Profound Effects." The author began the essay telling of how he penned a thank-you card to a Starbucks barista who had to work on Thanksgiving and how that woman nearly broke down, having felt that she mattered. The author went on to discuss his subsequent journey of thanking 365 people, and how it not only made a difference in the lives of the recipients but his as well.

Just a week before I read this article, I was thinking about how I can show my appreciation for people. The day after Christmas, when I went to get my oil changed and my car aligned, I decided to bring in a box of candy for the workers at Flynn's. I felt bad that they had to work the day after Christmas when so many others didn't. I think it meant something to them; certainly the guy I gave it to was extra friendly and chatty. And when I came back three weeks later to get tires replaced, the guy whom I gave the box to share said, "Oh, you are the nice lady."

I think back to 2009 when I sent a thank-you note to the priest at the church where I have taught Bible school for the past three years (that year was my first), and how he called me up to thank me for my note. It had not occurred to me that someone would have been touched enough by a simple act of gratitude to then express his appreciation. It is probably because of that that I went on to thank various people in the next couple of years, including people at Jordan's previous school, the principal and teachers at Jordan's current school (where I also sub), some relatives who have supported my mom.

But I can do more.

So with my past experiences and that Parade article in mind, I have decided to take the author's advice, on a much smaller scale. Rather than send 365 thank-you notes, I am planning to send out a note twice a month. Although there are many people I could give my thanks to, it seems a little forced to me to find 365 of them in as many days (or even in two year's time).

If I can touch even a few people and perhaps cause some of them to pay it forward, I will consider this "experiment" a success.

Do you think I am nuts? Is it something you would consider doing?

Regardless, I am going to begin my journey this week. Stay tuned.

They just don't make things like they used to (Part 2)

2012-01-26T09:59:00.002-05:00

A few months ago I blogged about my 14-month old TV that died unexpectedly. Unexpected because one would think a TV would last at least five years. I, being naive and optimistic, was actually hoping for at least 10 years, because, you know, my last TV is over 15 years old and still works. I am still trying to bring myself to write a complaint letter, but I am hesitant because I know exactly what will happen. Nothing.

But this week's dilemma is brought to you by tires and, apparently, PA roads, which are consistently ranked in the bottom five. But first, let me back up. About 2.5 years ago, when my car had about 26,000 miles on it, I had to replace my tires, which I believe were warranted for 60,000 miles. At that time, the guy at Flynn's told me that original tires never last long, and when combined with PA roads, my tires did as well as I could expect. Or something like that. So I painfully bought new tires, which were quite pricey thanks to my car (stupid Saturn Vue). But the guy told me although I would not get the full life out of the new ones, they were good, I would be happy, they would last awhile (wish I could remember how long he estimated), etc., etc.

You can probably tell where this story is going.

When I got my car inspected on Monday, my mechanic (not from Flynn's) said my tires barely passed inspection and would need to be replaced soon. What?! Come again? Begging pardon?

I told him the tires were only 2.5 years old and had only about 27k miles on them. He did not have much to say, since I did not buy them there.

So I called Flynn's and explained my situation. My old tires are no longer made, so to use the warranty, I had to buy tires which was slightly better, made even more expensive thanks to the rising cost of rubber and oil or something. On the upside, I ended up having to pay about 40 percent of the price, and these tires do look as if they could ride over three feet of snow and cut through a sheet of ice. But it was an unexpected expense.

But that is almost not even the point. How can it be acceptable that tires don't last half as long as they are warranted for? I get that the roads are bad here, but c'mon. I got only about 1,000 more miles out of my last tires than I did out of the original ones. I would like to change the name Goodyear to Badyear or Badtires.

My good buddy at Flynn's, who, by the way, told me I was pretty and had a nice complexion (which he said before he proceeded to squint at every piece of paper he looked at) said I can expect to get about 35,000 to 40,000 out of these tires, which are warranted for 80,000. That is ridiculous, don't you think?!

As I said on Facebook, when the time comes for me to replace my Vue, before I decide on my final car make/model, I will shop for tires first. Seriously.

I guess I should put writing a letter to Goodyear on my to-do list...

My heart is breaking. I cannot imagine how Joe Paterno's family is feeling.

2012-01-22T12:41:00.005-05:00

That may have been the longest blog title I ever wrote. But it sums up my feelings pretty well. You could read just that and skip the post, and you probably would not miss too much, other than a bunch of disjointed thoughts. But I have a few things I want to say, so here goes.

I love Joe Paterno. Well, loved. I realize many, many people don't understand this and never will, and that is okay. I won't bother to try to explain it, because, as I said in a Facebook post this morning, I can't. But there are people out there who do get it. All of whom know what the expected response is to, "We are." And I guess those of us can take comfort in this shared experience.

As someone else said on Facebook this morning, “I would hope that my life would be judged as a whole and not just by some bad choices.”

That is the thing that too many people have overlooked. Joe Paterno did not molest any boys. Joe Paterno did not shower with any boys. He is not a monster. Yes, he should have done more, which he has said, “This is a tragedy. It is one of the greatest sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.” But I think in many ways he has been judged more harshly that the actual perp. And, keep in mind, Sandusky has still not gone to trial. He may never be found guilty. And, let's face it, there is a chance (a minuscule one, for sure) that Sandusky did not even do all or most of what he has been accused of. That thought has crossed my mind more than once. Particularly when I think about how JoePa, after 60-some years of dedication at Penn State, was fired via a phone call. That still breaks my heart.

But I don't want to focus on those things. I want to focus on the dedication of a man who loved Penn State. A man who could have gone on to bigger and better things, but never did. A man who just recently donated $100,000 to the University, even after all that had happened.

I wanted to add this, which I just read in the PG. It is pretty telling of the kind of person JoePa was:

Mr. Paterno also turned down the Green Bay Packers in 1970 and a five-year, $1.3 million offer from the New England Patriots in 1972. At that time, his annual salary was $32,000. "No one deserves a million dollars just to coach a football team, Mr. Paterno said. "A lot of young coaches make the mistake of jumping from place to place. They never leave much of themselves anywhere. "I never wanted to do that. I didn't want to be just another coach. All I wanted to do was have an impact on Penn State."

We are...
heartbroken.

Rest in peace, JoePa. May your family find the comfort and support they need. I hope their knowing all the great things you did and all that you were to so many people will help them.

:-(

Doing the right thing

2012-01-20T09:47:00.000-05:00

I am still trying to get the nerve to write a post about my failings as a parent. Just not there yet. But for everything I do wrong and for all the times my kid acts like a teenager, it is nice when Jordan does something that shows me I must be doing some things right.

As I have blogged about before, some of Jordan's classmates have been mean to her and have excluded her, which, I know, is pretty normal for kids. Fortunately, she is rarely fazed by this, mostly because she is oblivious. I, on the other hand, continue to let this get under my skin, mostly because my kid goes to a Catholic school, so one might expect the kids to be kind, Christian-like. You know what I am saying?

One of Jordan's best friends, whom I will call Kelly, happens to be loved by pretty much all the kids. Kelly is a pretty nice girl, fairly quiet when I sub, and, even better, has never been disrespectful to me, unlike far too many others.

Yesterday when I picked Jordan up from school, I asked her whom she sat with at lunch, as I often do. She told me she sat with a girl I will call Lisa, someone Jordan is friendly with but does not consider a best friend. I asked Jordan who else she sat with, and she said only Lisa, which seemed odd. Jordan went on to explain to me that many kids wanted to sit near Kelly, including Jordan, as is the case pretty much daily. And in fact, once that group of kids, again, including Jordan, was sitting at Kelly's table, that left Lisa at another table by herself. So rather than leave Lisa all alone, my kid went to sit with her.

I told Jordan how proud of her I was, knowing how much she likes Kelly and wants to sit with her. Plus, Lisa has said a few mean things to Jordan, which my kid is obviously willing to overlook/forgive.

Knowing the kids at that school as well as I do, I am not sure too many if any would do what Jordan did. But my kid did the right thing. I will take that.

It's January, and you know what that means!

2012-01-18T09:49:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately, this year January does not mean a deep run into the playoffs for the Steelers, as has been noted in an earlier post. January usually means snow, although so far, a little over halfway into the month, the weather has been anything but usual. Sunny and 18 degrees one day, rainy and 55 the next, and snow squalls a few days later. Kind of makes your head spin.

But I digress. What I am talking about is tax time. Oh, how I hate it. The gathering of the papers and receipts. Trying to guess at the value of donated items. Lamenting over the few dollars we made in savings this year (though, looking on the bright side, that means giving less to the government). But mostly just trying to figure out how we can get as much money back as possible.

I read in the AP News yesterday (and in a few other places today) that Romney pays taxes close to the 15 percent tax rate, which is higher than most. But the thing is, he has made most of his money on investments. The top federal tax rate for investments is 15%, while the top tax rate for wages is 35% on taxable income over $388,350. Wages are also subject to Social Security and Medicare payroll taxes (which effectively raises the tax rate).

What am I trying to say, exactly? I am not entirely sure. I totally support people making a lot of money, and I am not someone who thinks that people who make a lot of money should be taxed at a higher rate than others (see this post from 2009 if you don't believe me). But since we have these stupid tax rates, in a way it seems a little shady for someone with so much money in investments to pay less in taxes than someone making $50,000 (again, I am including the taxes I noted above that come out of paychecks).

Maybe one of you smart people can help me figure this out. I am fully expecting my conservative friends to accuse me of going soft and not caring about capitalism, and that is fine; I want to hear it. And I am not going to lie—I am bothered by Romney's comment that the $375,000 in speaking fees he took home last year was not very much money. I just think in these tough times when we have a huge deficit and bills our going up but the income of the average worker is not, something should change.

One last comment. Back in April 2009, I wrote a post about taxes (the same one I referenced above) discussing the fair and flat taxes. I reread that post and came across this sentence: "The president noted that he's asked his economic advisers to thoroughly review how to simplify the tax code and report back to him by year's end."

Maybe one of you can tell me what the changes were? I just don't think anything about taxes is simple.

Waste not, want not

2012-01-12T14:01:00.000-05:00

In the P-G (and the Trib too, I think) the other day was an article about PA making the amount of food stamps that people receive contingent upon their assets. People under age 60 with more than $2,000 in savings and other assets, such as a second car, will no longer be eligible for food stamps. For people over 60, the limit is $3,250.

I agree that assets should be considered. If someone has, let's say, $50,000 in savings but is making only minimum wage, I don't think that person should get food stamps. After all, they have plenty in the bank to pay for every day expenses. But to say, for example, that a 35-year-old single parent who scrimped to save $3,000 over the past five years for an emergency should be denied food stamps when another person who never bothered to save a dime should get assistance is, quite simply, unfair. And what if two parents both need a car to go to work? The bus is not the most feasible situation for everyone, so why punish those people?

My parents are both retired pharmacists. My dad loves to tell stories from when he worked for a major drug chain. Once a man was mad that he had to pay a $4.00 copay for a prescription. He was complaining to my dad that the last time it was free and he was not going to pay. My dad told the guy if he did not pay, he could not get the prescription. The man proceeded to pull out several hundred dollar bills. Another time a woman was bragging to my dad that she was pregnant with her sixth or seventh child and that meant she would be getting another $125 (or some amount like that) in welfare. The picture of stupidity and idiocy, IMO.

It is because of people like those that many are distrustful and against government assistance. And for sure the government has a responsibility to weed out as many of the abusers as possible (I am looking at you lottery winners!). But this blog writer is not one to punish the conscientious people. And I am afraid this new edict will do just that.

What say you?

You win some, you lose some

2012-01-09T13:02:00.000-05:00

The party's over.

I was not really expecting my team, even with all the injuries, to lose to an 8-8 team with a QB who was a horrible passer. But maybe God really was on Tebow's side (I say that with some sense of seriousness; see my last paragraph). But I mostly believe that God could care less about sports, bands, movies, etc. I am pretty sure He has enough other things to keep track of. And let's face it: a lot of rich, famous people are rather crappy people, and I kind of doubt God would want to reward that kind of behavior with a #1 movie, album, or Super Bowl victory.

But what do I know?

Well, I know that the Steeler season is over, not even halfway through what is typically the worst month of winter here in southwestern PA. And unlike last year, I don't get to look forward to watching football into February. There is no more planning weekend activities around Steeler games. No excitement in thinking that my team could be hoisting another Lombardi trophy through the streets of Pittsburgh in another month. No more wearing my jersey on "Steeler Fridays" or game day (and, definitely no more wearing it to church, unless it is Super Bowl Sunday).

I am disappointed for sure. And that last play was really like a punch in the gut. But fortunately it was over quickly, which maybe made it easier to swallow (once it actually set in that my team lost on the first play in OT, after staging a comeback in the second half).

And, even though I think the Broncos are going to get blown out by New England, I am going to route for Tebow and company anyway. That would make yesterday's loss, at least for me, a little easier to take. But more than that, why not route for an openly religious guy who seems like a decent human being? I find it interesting that so many people criticized Big Ben for all the stuff he did (and rightly so), and yet so many others (surely not the same people) are now criticizing Tebow for including Jesus in his football life. Even if I don't exactly share his beliefs and I personally am uncomfortable being openly religious, I find his demeanor rather refreshing.

Speaking of which, I came across this interesting tidbit: Tim Tebow threw for 316 yards and averaged 31.6 yards per pass during the game last night. Tebow's favorite Bible verse is John 3:16. Coincidence? Not for me to say.

Things that make me go hmmm

2012-01-03T19:22:00.000-05:00

This post is kind of like a "Random Ramblings" post (interesting that I just capitalized the "r" in "Random" when I refuse to use initial caps in my blog or post titles), except it is specific to things as of late that either I don't get or I find interesting. Here goes:

With all the technology out there, one might think (one being someone other than I) that when you click on the "Find product in store" icon on a company's website, and an "in-stock" notation pops up for a selected store, the product might, oh, I don't know, actually be in said store. Since I am not "one," I don't think that to be true. Mostly because it has not been true for Walmart, Target, and Walgreen's the few times I have used this feature in the past 30 days.
Third grade seems a little young to have an i-Phone, don't you think? Well, I do. But apparently quite a few parents of other third graders do not agree if I can believe what my kid tells me. I cannot comprehend why on earth an eight- or nine-year-old needs a smart phone. Maybe someone can 'splain it to me?
Why do we (and I know I am not the only one) continue to watch the weather when it is wrong so often? I bet I could be right about as much of the time if I just flipped a coin. Sounds like a challenge...
I noticed that every pre-printed Christmas card I received listed the husband's name first. In case you were wondering, my name was first for our Christmas card. :-)
For New Year's Eve, Jordan and I (Brian was on-call) went to the house of some good friends. We were home by 10 p.m. because I would rather be off the roads long before the ball drops (or rises, as happens in Pittsburgh). Interestingly enough (to me, anyway) the last time I went anywhere for NY's Eve, other than when I spent it with my mom, was 9 or 10 years ago, when I went to the same friends' house (and was home long before midnight). Not sure exactly what this says about me, other than those friends are probably keepers!

Here's to a great 2012 and my understanding a lot more things.

Counting minutes, not moments

2011-12-30T20:54:00.001-05:00

I wish I could subscribe to the quality, not quantity theory, but for whatever reason, I don't. I'd like to blame it on Catholic guilt, because that is convenient. I could also blame it on some people who make me feel guilty, but I suppose I can choose not to feel guilty. But there are few people who make me feel as guilty as I make myself at times. Regardless of whose "fault" it is, I would be nice and healthy if I could care more about what I am doing and living in that moment and care less about counting every single minute and worrying it is not enough.

I had a nice Christmas break, and it is not even over yet. I managed to spend a good bit of time with my older brother and his family, which is nice because they live about nine driving hours away. I also got in extra time with my mom, hanging out with her briefly just a week before Christmas, spending two nights a few days later, and then spending time with her and the bro/family the latter part of this week. Last year at this time, I never would have thought this would have been possible. In addition, I spent time with extended family and my in-laws. And I even managed to spend a few hours this afternoon with my little pilot brother, who is in town for about 20 hours until his next flight.

Yet when it comes to my family, no matter how often I see them or how many hours I spend with them, it is almost never enough for me.

As I was driving home late this morning, after having spent three nights at my mom's with Jordan (and without Brian and Sadie), I felt sad. As if I should have stayed a few more hours. I have no idea why I felt his way; it is not as if I don't spend a lot of time with my mom, more than most people who live about 45 miles from their parents, I would think.

Then, several hours later, after I had spent a couple hours with my little brother and was driving away, I felt a similar feeling. Even though he lives halfway across the country, I see him more than most would see their siblings. I will probably see him again in a month or two, and I just saw him at Thanksgiving at least two other times this year anyway. So why I am so focused on the minutes?!

Brian does not get it, and, obviously, neither do I. But if I have any intentions of making a resolution, which I have not in years, I think it would be to count moments, not minutes. Sounds pretty good to me.

Wish me luck!

Peace on earth

2011-12-24T11:23:00.000-05:00

I wish all of you a very, merry Christmas. May your days be merry and bright. And most of all peaceful.

Peace on the earth. Goodwill to all.

Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy (or Luck Be a Lady)

2011-12-20T11:02:00.000-05:00

Remember how I complained that I used to be lucky, but then my luck kind of ran out? And then I wrote a follow-up post almost a year later, sharing how I did win a great prize, a photo shoot?

Since then, I have entered probably several dozen contests, including a trip to the zoo in which two lucky winners were selected. Only three people signed up for that contest (it was on a blog), and I happened not to be one of the two. Sheesh. I also tried to win one of the many PG prizes over the summer, spending probably $5 in postage. No luck there either.

But then, a few weeks ago, I entered a contest to win tickets to the Nutcracker. My odds were pretty good; I think only 13 people entered. And to further increase my odds, I entered the same contest on an affiliate site, where about as many people signed up.

I saw the Nutcracker when I was a kid, and I don't remember liking it all that much. But it was something I wanted to take Jordan to, since she likes dancing, and I was pretty sure it had to be less boring about 30 year later. However, I am very under-employed, so there was no way I was going to shell out anywhere from $25 to $120 for a seat. So when the contest came along, I jumped at the chance. And luck finally tilted back in my direction, because we won, with great seats to boot. In fact, I actually won both contests, but I just went with the one.

We ended up taking one of Jordan's classmates and her mother. All in all, I think everyone enjoyed it, but it was long; in fact, during the last 10 to 15 minutes, the girls asked more than once when it was going to be over. Down on sleep, I was close to nodding off towards the end, but not because it was not spectacular; it really was quite enjoyable. The costumes were lavish. The scenery seemed pretty cool (loved the falling snow). And the dancing was rather exquisite, with some entertaining acrobatics thrown in every now and again. I would suggest to anyone that they read the story before they go; wish I had thought of that so Jordan would have had an understanding of what was going on (there is no dialogue).

The Nutcracker is not something I would go to every year, even if money were no object; I think things like that are best appreciated when you do them only once or twice. But I would consider taking Jordan back when she is older if she wants, although the next production I really want to take her to is my favorite, Jesus Christ Superstar. Might wait until she is a few years older, though.

Until then, I will have visions of sugar plum and snow fairies dancing in my head. And I will have to remind myself of this win the next time I complain that I don't win anything. #Winning!

Jordan in one of the rooms upstairs at the Benedum

Score one for technology!

2011-12-16T10:50:00.000-05:00

I have not hidden the fact that I think a lot of technology is ruining us. People become so dependent on their smart phones, iPads, laptops, GPS devices, etc., that they forget about human connection and even doing things the "old-fashioned way" at times. And sometimes people who are always wired (well, wireless is more like it) don't realize that not all of us are. For example, if you send an email a couple of hours before a meeting/practice/event/test change, you cannot assume everyone will read said email in enough time. There are some of us who still have our stupid phones, so unless we are sitting in front of a computer 16 hours a day (and sometimes that is not even enough), we are bound to miss things like that.

But, of course, technology can be wonderful. I am glad I have a cell phone, even if it is stupid. When my relatives, traveling from two counties away, arrived late to meet me at the Steelers game, I knew what was going on thanks to my phone. And texting allows me to let Brian know if I (or Jordan and I) are running late or doing somewhere we have not planned without my having to call his cell phone and interrupt him while he is working.

I have great peace of mind having OnStar installed in my car. I hope I never have to use it, but just knowing it is there makes it worth the money.

And it is nice to not only be able to take pictures whenever I want without having to drag a camera everywhere, but also to be able to upload, save, and print out said pictures right away. Of course, as I have also stated here, the camera in my phone is rather crappy. But still, I think of how many simple moments I have been able to capture that I would not have 10 years ago.

In fact, today, since Jordan is dressed up for school as her class will be singing at a retirement home after school, I took a few pictures of her in front of the tree. As I said in my last post, I have been a little behind with everything, which meant I have barely thought about my Christmas cards. But having taken those pictures, I could then upload them to Walgreen's site and create a photo card in a matter of minutes this morning, knowing that those cards will be ready before lunch today. But wait, as I am typing this, I just got an email that they are ready now!

So in the spirit of being grateful, generous, and kind, let me give technology an atta boy along with a high five, something I just don't see myself doing too often. You are welcome, connected friends.

Picture perfect

2011-12-14T16:27:00.001-05:00

Every year at this time, I find myself scrambling to get everything done. Yet I don't bake, I tend to have fewer than 15 presents to wrap, and I work only sporadically. So what is my excuse for being so behind?!

My biggest labor of love during the month of December is creating an online photo album for both my and Brian's moms. It is an arduous process. I go through the hundreds of digital photos I have taken and saved the past year, upload them to a site, and place them in a suitable layout for each page of the album. Since more than half of the pictures I take come from my crappy, stupid phone, I have to make sure they are small enough to look decent. And it never fails that as soon as I think I am nearly finished, I realize I forgot to include a really great picture in one of the layouts, which means I have to redo the page to fit more pictures or I have to part with a picture I really liked.

Despite the time this takes, it is a gift for me as much as it is for our moms (and not just because I also order a copy of one of the albums). As I look through each picture, season by season, I am reminded of days or even hours that I may have forgotten about. Since my kid, at 8, is still growing and changing each year, I often stop and notice how her hair was different or that a few months ago she was shorter than a classmate but now she is taller. These things are just not that apparent in day-to-day living. On the other hand, it is often striking how much some of my nieces and nephews, who range in age from 16 months to six years, have changed over the year. It is nice to see that in color.

Now that the albums are ordered (and my fingers are crossed that they arrive days in advance of Christmas), I can think about Christmas cards and whether or not I am going to include a photo or create a photo card. Considering I used to send out my Christmas cards on Christmas Eve, I think I am way ahead of the game.

Smile!

40 and fabulous!

2011-12-05T19:01:00.001-05:00

I like to celebrate a birth weekend or a three-day birth anniversary whenever I can. Why limit yourself to just one day out of 365?!

So, of course, in advance of today, the big 4-0, I decided to start my celebrating on Saturday. It started off on a small scale. I took Jordan to the Home Depot for one of those kids' workshops. With no hammering and a few screws, it was right up my alley. And, I was able to lift and carry the full propane tank back to the car, so clearly I am not over the hill! We followed that up with a quick trip to Kohl's, where I treated myself to a new wallet. Even waiting in a 20-person-deep line could not dampen my spirits, what with my happily telling the two people in front of me and one behind me that I was turning 40 on Monday.

Yesterday was the real highlight. With my Steelers Santa cap and Hines Ward jersey on and my Terrible Towel in pocket, I headed downtown, where I got to park for free! I had a nice walk across the Roberto Clemente Bridge and over to the Bettis 36 Grille, where I had a less-than-stellar, but-still-enjoyable, bloody Mary. A while later, when my mom, aunt, uncle, and two cousins showed up, I showed a beer maid outside the place that I was turning 40 tomorrow, and she said my and my cousin's beer was on her. Sweet!

After a tasty lunch, I headed over to Heinz Field, where I spent the next three hours watching the Steelers dominate the Bengals. I sat behind Andy Dalton's parents, which was kind of cool. I teased them and his cousins, asking why Andy did not get them better seats. But as it turned out, our seats, located between the 10-yard line and the end zone about 20 rows back, allowed us to see four of the scores perfectly. Even the drunk, repetitive guy next to me could not dampen my day; it probably helped that when I told him I was turning 40, he said he would have guessed I was 21. Ha ha!

Today I woke up at just after 6, with a phone call asking me to sub, but it was all good, no doubt helped by the "It's My Birthday" pin I have been wearing for the past 15 birthdays. I had about a half dozen cookies, many birthday wishes, and pretty good kids overall.

When I got home, there was an edible fruit arrangement from my little brother, his wife, and their kids; and one of my best friends from college sent me lovely flowers. Brian and Jordan had some cards waiting for me, and we had shrimp and crab cakes for dinner and some yummy chocolate cake for dessert.

Among the cards, phone calls, text messages, and probably 70 Facebook posts, I felt a lot of birthday love today.

So far, 40 is just fine!

Random ramblings

2011-11-28T09:39:00.001-05:00

I have a handful (well, maybe two handfuls) of things on my noodle, starting with a memorable Thanksgiving, so let's get right to it!

Not sure which I will remember more about Thanksgiving day, my adult cousin's obscene t-shirt that he refused to remove for me or my three-year-old nephew trying to hit Jordan with a two-pound weight, but missing her and instead nailing his older brother in the head, which resulted in a trip to the ER. Good times!
I wish my brothers and their families lived closer. I tend to be all about quantity since I typically see them only two or three times a year, and it gets crazy with so many people, including seven kids ages eight and under, in one small place.
In one week I will be 40. I still think I am okay with that. Ask me again next week at this time.
Some people are idiots. I realize I did not say anything new there, but Black Friday tends to bring out the biggest morons and jag-offs in full force. Ugh.
Speaking of jag-offs, while in Indiana (the town) for Thanksgiving, I went to Steel City Samiches, which serves Primanti-style sandwiches among other things. I like Primanti's, but tend to get there rather infrequently, so it was nice to enjoy a "samich" there. Great server too.
Those Steelers! What's up with their practically lying down for the bad teams?
The Nittany Lions should just be thankful that they have finished the season with nine wins. They are the one of the worse nine-win teams out there. Still a fan, though.
Keep going, Pens! And please stay healthy, Sid!
The holiday season (I have no problem calling it that since it technically is not Christmas yet) is upon us, and I am pretty sure this is the last one during with the kid will believe in Santa. Makes me sad.

Have a great week, everyone!

Thankfulness

2011-11-23T09:20:00.000-05:00

May your travels be safe, your food be yummy, your family fights be limited (or, better yet, non-existent), and may you find at least one thing to be thankful for.

I have many blessings, which I will try to remember over these next few days, particularly while sitting in traffic, being annoyed by a family member, or moaning about how much I have overeaten. I need to remember that I have a car to drive, family to visit, and food to eat. Yes, I am indeed blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Oh, and can I just say that I am also thankful that Sidney Crosby is back on the ice and that I won tickets to see the Nutcracker. Almost makes me forget about my dead TV. :-)

Something long ago forgotten (and I still wish it were)

2011-11-18T12:52:00.000-05:00

A few days after the Penn State story broke, I was reminded of something in high school, something I have probably not thought about in over or at least close to 20 years. Something quite honestly I would rather forget. But even my sorry memory still works every now and again.

When I was a senior in high school, a friend of mine told me her stepfather was molesting her.

When this memory came back to me, I immediately felt guilty. I questioned why I did not tell a teacher or my parents. Was it fear? Was I thinking I was somehow protecting my friend by keeping quiet? I honestly don't recall if she asked me not to tell anyone, though I am guessing probably. This friend was close to a teacher, whom I seem to recall she told. It seems likely I thought that since he knew, I did not need to get anyone else involved. I also remember that my friend was seeing a therapist, so maybe at the time I figured what else could I do. But if I have learned anything from the sordid Penn State story, you should never assume someone else is taking care of something.

We (well, at least I) want to believe the best about people. When I am confronted with something contrary to that, I often have a hard time wrapping my head around it (see my posts regarding things others said my kid did, which she denied). Did I think my friend was making this up? Maybe. I do recall wondering why she was getting in the car with her stepfather when this was going on. But as a 16- or 17-year-old, I probably could not process what was going on as well as an adult could or should. I had a good family; didn't everyone? How can an adult do something like that? She said her mom know, so why would her mom let it keep happening?

I will be 40 in just over two weeks. I don't see the world today in the same way I did when I was in high school (or in college, or even in my 20s). And as a parent and a teacher, I have pretty strong views about children. I can assure you that if a child came to me today and said she was being abused in any way, I would take action. But I can also say what I would do would depend on who told me, where (school versus at a social outing) that person told me, and what exactly was said.

I hope that friend from high school is doing okay. In fact, I may reach out to her sibling on Facebook to ask. But I hope even more that people will get involved rather than shy away from what is uncomfortable. Sometimes doing nothing is even worse than doing something.

And while we're on the subject...

2011-11-15T18:51:00.000-05:00

I still very strongly dislike Westinghouse, and that is not going to change any time soon. I am hopeful, if only slightly, that I will be able to post an update at some point that states I am getting something from Westinghouse. If you don't see that update, well, then you know Westinghouse, like many other businesses, cares only about money, not about quality products or customer satisfaction. So, yes, I am pretty sure you won't be reading anything else positive about my TV situation.

But I am already on to another customer service-related post. Remember how last month I blogged about my annual appointment, and I threw in a comment about how I once again had to pay a specialist copay? I called my insurance company a week later to question this, and the CSR informed me that this year I should have paid nothing, thanks to the health care reform, which, admittedly, I don't know all the ins and outs of. The CSR said that last year I probably could have gone copay-free; the timing may have been off.

So I gave UPMC a month to refund my $25, and you can probably guess where this is going. One and a half months after my appointment, I called UPMC to ask about my copay refund. After reviewing my records/EOB, the CSR said that my insurance did not cover $13 of my visit but "would you like the $25 less the $13 refunded?" This confused and irritated me, making me wonder had I not called, if I would have gotten any money back. Then I asked CSR guy why my insurance would not have covered $13, as it seemed like such an odd amount. He said I would have to ask my insurance, but "let me just take a look to make sure we did not make a mistake on our end."

A few minutes later, CSR informs me that UMPC had erred (he probably did not use that word), and I will be getting my hard-fought $25 back. Do you think I would have seen this money had I not called? I don't either.

Non-profit, indeed!

They just don't make things like they used to.

2011-11-14T11:18:00.001-05:00

About 14 months ago, as I blogged about, my neighborhood had yet another power surge, which resulted in my trusty, but not exactly spry, 26" TV (among many other things) meeting its demise. I was willing to go back to our even older 19" TV, which we had kept in our storage shed, but Brian insisted it was time for a new TV, hoping that Duquesne Light would help cover the cost.

We found one we liked, a Westinghouse 32" LED HDTV, and it worked just fine until two nights ago, when all of a sudden the screen turned green and everything froze. I tried turning the TV off and on, and I unplugged it, but the TV would not come back on. Brian tested the power supply, which was fine. We tested it again the next day, but still no life.

Of course, our TV is no longer under warranty, and apparently not a lot of companies fix Westinghouse TVs. Right now, I am waiting for two companies to call me back (does no one answer the phone anymore?!); one may not even service that brand. I called Westinghouse directly to let someone know how dismayed I am that my young TV stopped working. I told the customer service rep that I retrieved our over 15-year-old 19" TV from our storage shed, and that baby, despite being exposed to cold temps over the winter, still works like a champ. Yet this 14-month-old TV is dead.

The funny (not funny "ha-ha") thing is, just a few days ago, I was thinking how fortunate we have been that we have not had any unexpected expenses come up. It seems as if at least once a year, something in our house needs to be repaired or replaced, and I thought we managed to get through an entire year without that expense. I thought wrong.

Who knows? Maybe it will be an easy, relatively inexpensive fix. But I am not counting on it.

Grr.

Oh, and for the record, when we finally got our settlement from Duquesne Light, the company decided our 11-year-old TV, which had been working just fine before the power surge, was worth only $57. Which is sadly probably what our current 14-months-young TV is worth now.

It makes me sad

2011-11-10T18:40:00.000-05:00

I still have so many thoughts swarming around my head regarding the Jerry Sandusky-Penn State scandal, but I cannot take the time to write them all down. And there is no way anyone would want to read paragraph after paragraph even if I could.

So let me briefly (for me) sum up my thoughts as of right now.

The whole situation is sad. So incredibly sad for the kids, but sad for others too. Sad for the people who thought they were doing the right thing but may not have been. Sad for the people who should have done more and probably knew it. Sad for the reputation of a great school. Sad for coach who did so much for a university. Sad for the fans. Sad for the students. Sad for the community. Sad for sports. Sad for parents. Just sad.

I know that Joe Paterno needed to no longer be the coach. I had hoped he would have stepped down on his own, but he did not. I know PSU's cutting ties with him is the right thing to do, but that does not mean that it is not sad. I hate that this is how JoePa is going to be remembered, at least for now. And I can't imagine anyone else coaching the team.

As an honest, moral person, I hope the truth comes out and we find out who did and said what (and who covered up what, and what was covered up). As I said elsewhere, the one good thing that may come from all of this is people will hopefully be more likely to speak up for victims and not assume that someone else is going to take care of it. We owe that to each other and especially children.

That is all for now.

We are
still Penn State.

Just a little less so.

So much "For the Glory"

2011-11-07T11:53:00.001-05:00

Before I launch into my thoughts about the scandal at Penn State involving former assistant (until 1999) football coach Jerry Sandusky and the apparent cover up (at least ignoring) of Sandusky's sexual abuse of youth, let me say that unlike many alumni, I cannot personally be embarrassed by something involving my alma mater when I had nothing to do with what happened. I am still Penn State proud, though a little less for sure.

Now on to the story...

The 23-page attorney general report on Sandusky in graphic detail recounts how a respected man sexually abused eight youth over the years and next to nothing was done to either stop it or keep it from happening again. It is pretty sickening. Throw in a dozen other news stories, blogs, and comments from various people and you find your head spinning as you try to figure out what really happened.

Here are some of my thoughts:

I understand it was a report and not a trial, but the stories of eight youth as well as the eye witness accounts of several adults are pretty damning to me. I can believe that one or even two kids made this stuff up; it happens all the time. But eight? And that several adults witnessed different deviant acts? I don't need a trial to be convinced that Sandusky is a sick man who committed unspeakable crimes.

The most troubling to me, because of what is alleged to have happened and because it involves people at Penn State, goes something like this:

In 2002, Mike McQueary, a 28-year-old graduate assistant at the time, witnessed a heinous act in the football building shower between Sandusky and a kid who was approximately 10 years old. (Sandusky had virtually unlimited access to Penn State, negotiated as part of his retirement.) McQueary, distraught, talked to his dad, who said McQueary should go to Joe Paterno. McQueary called Paterno and went to his home the next day, reporting what he saw. What McQueary reported to Paterno, according to Paterno, was not as sordid what McQueary stated in his testimony as part of the report.

Paterno called AD Tim Curley, his supervisor (let's face it, JoePa really has no supervisor), to his home the next day and recounted what McQueary said, sharing a more sanitized version than what McQueary stated he had said. About one and a half weeks later, McQueary was called to a meeting with Curley and Senior VP for Finance and Business Gary Schultz (who as part of his position oversees campus police) and reported what he witnessed. Much as it was with Paterno, Curley testified that McQueary said Sandusky and the child were "horsing around," which is much less damning than what McQueary testified to having said to both JoePa and Curley/Schultz.

The two PSU officials told McQueary they would look into it. A few weeks later, Curley told McQueary that Sandusky's keys to the locker room were taken away and that the incident was reported to the Second Mile, a charity for at-risk youth that Sandusky was heavily involved with until 2008 when the allegations came to light. President Graham Spanier apparently was also notified about the incident. And that is pretty much where it ended.

There are many things that strike me as wrong or at the very least questionable:

Curley, Schultz, and JoePa insist McQueary did not tell them all the sordid details that McQueary said he did, which is suspicious. So much so that Curley and Schultz have been charged with perjury. Thankfully the two have stepped down (though Curley's leave may only be temporary).
But even if McQueary said only that Sandusky and this kid were "horsing around," how is it these men decide that act did not warrant going to the police? Is it normal for a man and a boy to shower together?
And at the very least why weren't the campus police, which Schultz oversaw, notified?
What is worse is that Schultz knew of an investigation involving Sandusky in 1998 during which a similar incident was alleged to have occurred. So we have now have a second incident and you still think you don't need to go to the police?
And interesting that Sandusky retired in 1999, a year after the 1998 incident came to light. And yet knowing that incident happened, the University thought it was okay to let Sandusky have full access to the campus as part of his retirement and bring in youth (from the Second Mile)?
But back to McQueary. Shouldn't he have followed up? I don't necessarily fault him for not going to the police to begin with (he probably should have), but since he did not, I feel as if he at the very least had a moral obligation to see if something was done beyond that.
And interesting that McQueary was made a wide receivers coach a year or two after this happened.
Some commentors insist McQueary should have stopped the act himself, as a large, former football player, but I don't think that is up to him. He was shocked, as most people would be. It is so easy for someone to say he would have knocked Sandusky out or grabbed the kid. But to actually jump into the shower and do it?
One thing I am not questioning is McQueary's future at Penn State. I suspect he won't be the wide receivers coach much longer, but rather will be made a scapegoat.
As much as I hate to say it, JoePa must go. Technically he did nothing wrong (he was not obligated to report what he saw to the police since he did not witness it), but I think as a leader of men and knowing what he did (and I suspect he knew/knows more than what he claims), he had to do more. He should not have let it drop.

Yes, it is a sad day/week in Happy Valley. Hopefully, the glory can be restored and, more importantly, justice will be served. Those poor kids...

Sometimes I miss that girl

2011-11-04T11:35:00.000-04:00

When I was in high school, I was in the school chorus as well as in every play and musical. My senior year, I got the lead for the spring musical; I was Reno Sweeney in Anything Goes, a musical I had never heard of with a leading lady who had a masculine-sounding name, in my opinion.

Since then I have sung in a handful of weddings as well as a few funerals. I have been in my church choir since 2001. At my last full-time job, I would often break into song. And I have been known to start singing at the pool whenever Jordan and I are the only people there (good acoustics).

Yet for all that singing and performing, I cannot bring myself to sing a solo at church or, more topically, sing for our music ministry's Cabaret Night next weekend (Are you interested in going?!!).

I kind of want to sing for this event. In fact, just this morning in the car, I found myself singing two songs from Jesus Christ Superstar, which is my favorite musical (technically a rock opera). When I tried out for Anything Goes my senior year in high school, I sang "Everything's Alright" from Jesus Christ Superstar (apparently it did the trick). When I was in college, as part of a group project for an education class, I sang "I Don't Know How to Love Him," which is also from JCS. I still remember a girl in the class saying she had no idea I could sing. Why would she? I knew almost no one outside of class, and it is not as if you normally sing during a college class (or any class, for that matter).

But that was then and this is now. My voice, once aided by a couple years of voice lessons in college, is neither as pretty nor as high as it used to be (oh, how I miss the days when Mariah Carey's warbling had nothing on me). In fact, now I get excited when I open my mouth to sing a high note and something actually comes out.

And really, I am okay with this. I don't mind being in the background in the choir, which is easier to do since we now number around 30. I have since given up my dream to sing the National Anthem at Three Rivers Stadium, for more than the obvious reason. I no longer lament that I am too old to be on American Idol.

But if I am being perfectly honest, there is a little part of me that wishes I was still that gal who not only could sound pretty singing in front of a large group, but who also had the guts to do so to begin with.

Sometimes I miss the "Look at me!" Facie. The brave woman who loved the attention. But who knows? Maybe she will make an appearance before my 40th...

Can I get a little credit for a shorter Part II?

2011-11-02T13:07:00.000-04:00

If you took the time to read my last blog post, then thanks. It was a long one. For that reason, I am going to summarize my latest thoughts, which come on the heels of my meeting with the teacher, in the next two sentences to spare you from reading the four paragraphs that follow: I am about 95 percent sure my child is telling the truth for all the reasons I stated in the last post. However, 5 percent of me still cannot understand/believe that two different girls would make up things about my child.

I know I should probably just drop it. Move on. But as I said to Jordan, if I knew that someone said that I did something which I did not, then I would want to confront that person. I know I am not eight, but why is my kid not more bothered that another girl is supposedly making up things about her?

Jordan said she does not want to talk to the girl because she is afraid the girl will then tell the teacher that Jordan is bothering her or threatening her. Valid points, I realize. But the "life should be fair" person in me thinks that if Jordan nicely tells this girl that I don't believe J, which bothers Jordan, this will cause the girl to explain herself.

But then there is the 5 percent in me that can't help but wonder if my kid is not willing to talk to this girl because my kid just might not be 100 percent innocent. Maybe J grabbed another paper off the girl's desk. Maybe J accidentally hit the girl with the hula hoop and walked away because either J was embarrassed or J did not notice, and the girl took that to mean J did it on purpose.

There is also the issue of a different girl giving an unsigned note to the teacher saying that Jordan and another girl were spilling soap on the restroom floor. Because this soap thing has been a recurring problem at school, the teacher talked to the principal. Ugh. The 95 percent in me knows this is not something my kid would do. But that 5 percent has to wonder why a girl would make this up.

I will try to let this go, people. I promise. But it won't be easy.

I am walking away now....

Sigh

2011-10-29T11:50:00.001-04:00

This is another of those posts that may end up being two parts. It will be lengthy. Can't forget lengthy.

Earlier this week I received an email from my kid's teacher saying she wanted to discuss some behavioral issues. Even though the teacher said it was nothing "earth-shattering," I worried for several days until we finally talked. Here is my best attempt at recounting what is going on.

My kid, following the heels of negative comments that a couple of other kids made, told a girl that she had no friends. Jordan said the girl made a similar comment back to her, and Jordan insists she then told the girl she was just kidding. This story came from Jordan; the teacher told me that she did not know the details since it happened during another class.

The teacher was able to tell me this: After that incident, this girl told the teacher that Jordan hit her with a hula hoop and told the girl if she told on her, Jordan would say the girl hit her first. The girl also said that Jordan took a card the girl was making, crumpled it up, and threw it away. Finally, the teacher said that someone told her that Jordan was spilling soap in the girls' bathroom.

When I confronted Jordan about these things, she vehemently denied them. She did say it was possible she accidentally hit the girl with a hula hoop because they were "walking the dog" with the hula hoops and hers did go flying at least once.

The way I have been grilling Jordan the past two days, that I can pretty much tell when my kid is not coming clean, and that these are not things my kid would typically do lead me to believe that my kid is telling the truth. However, the teacher said that several kids (two? three?) told her about these things. And therein lies the bigger problem.

I scheduled a meeting with the teacher because Brian and I feel pretty strongly that this girl is getting back at Jordan, and I intend to share this theory with the teacher. I am not one of those parents who thinks my kid can do no wrong. Rather, I know my child very well, and those actions are not things she would typically do. However, as I told Jordan, if the teacher tells me that two or more kids saw Jordan do any of these things, I will have no choice but to punish her. Jordan is worried that the girl may have told others that Jordan did these things, and these others may have then told the teacher. I will share that thought with the teacher, but in my mind, it may not be enough.

I have no idea what will happen at this meeting. Unfortunately and sadly, someone is lying. I hope and pray it is not my kid. But I have to say I would not feel a lot better knowing that a girl in Jordan's class lied about my kid in order to get back at her. I would feel even worse if more kids are lying (perhaps about the bathroom, to cover up their wrongdoing). Of course, I see lying almost every time I sub.

The idealist in me suggested to Jordan that she tell this girl that she (Jordan) is getting a severe punishment because of what the girl said. Jordan said that if the girl lied about what Jordan did, why would she then admit to it. I, on the other hand, like to think that might make the girl crack. It worked for Jack Bauer...

I may never really find out what happened. My kid could get punished because others have lied about her. Or I may end up taking Jordan at her word, and she really is lying about some or all of this. I certainly am disappointed that if nothing else, she would say a mean thing to another kid, knowing how others are sometimes mean to her.

And to think this is only third grade.

Sigh.

The most wonderful time of the year

2011-10-23T09:22:00.004-04:00

I love fall. I love the cooler air. The beautiful leaves. The flavors of fall. Oh, how I love thee, pumpkin. Let me count the ways: coffee, creamer, ice cream, cookies, roll, cake, pie, gobs (or bobbs, as I noticed Giant Eagle called them), seeds, soup, bread. I am surely missing some. Yesterday alone, I had pumpkin creamer in my coffee, pumpkin bobbs (I think I can get down with that), and pumpkin roll.

Fall also means the pumpkin patch. For the past four years, my mom, Jordan, and I have gone to Reeger's in Indiana County. I look forward to it every October, and I am never disappointed, though I must admit nothing has topped our first corn maze experience.

We typically start off at said corn maze, and each year Jordan becomes more and more competitive (hmm, wonder where that comes from), racing to get to the next clue/riddle. This was the muddiest year ever, but still fun.

Here she is, all business about figuring out this riddle

Nonnie and Jordan, with just one clue/riddle to go

Jordan loves, loves, loves, animals, so we have to spend at least 10 minutes in the smelly barn as she does her best animal whisperer imitation. The animals are cute. How could you not be amused by Larry, Curly, and Moe the bunnies, and Toot and Puddles the pigs? I was actually a bit disappointed that Jaspar the donkey would not look our way; he was too busy eating.

Magic and Jordan

Verna the goat (isn't she cute?)

Of course, a big reason to go to the pumpkin patch is to pick out your own pumpkin. I enjoy the hayride over to the field and critiquing at least 20 or 30 pumpkins until Jordan finds just the right one. Unfortunately, this year, the pumpkins were planted in a hilly area, and the pumpkin(s) Jordan loved rolled right down the hill and into the woods. Oh, the tears.


On the hayride

Waiting for the hayride back, with Jordan's third choice for a pumpkin

This year, in addition to the silo slide, Reeger's had a bouncy house and an inflatable obstacle course. Jordan loves those kinds of things. Admittedly, I was looking for a weight limit just in case I could race her in the obstacle course (alas, I could not find a sign). We typically end our day at the kids' area.

Nothing like sliding down a silo. Weee!

Climbing up some inflatable thing

It almost makes me sad when our visit comes to end. But then I am reminded about the two other great things about fall: football and hockey. And so far, the Steelers, Penn State, and the Pens are doing pretty well.

Ah, fall.

The teacher versus the parent

2011-10-18T09:58:00.000-04:00

For those of you whom I have not talked to outside of this blog since the end of August, let me start off this post by saying that third grade is difficult. I am only half joking when I say I want to start a support group.

I kind of want to end the post here, because if I say everything I want to, this post could rival most of my other ramblings. But you know I won't.

The problem is the teacher in me wants and expects my child to do well and understand most everything. The teacher in me thinks that my kid should listen to every word her teacher says and remember them all. Well, at least the words that involve when assignments are due, which books are needed, and what is being covered on tests.

But the parent in me realizes that my kid is only eight, and she has had little preparation for the rigors of third grade.

When you have three different Simple Solutions books, all white, is it so unrealistic to expect you might accidentally bring the math one home instead of the English?

When you have five pages of science, a math workbook page, and an English Simple Solutions page due the next day, doesn't it stand to reason you might get tired and make mistakes?

When you have a test in health, science, English, and spelling in one day, can you really expect to do well in all of them?

Of course, I want my child to do well and make as many A's as she can. Fortunately, she wants the same thing. But the reality is that she has seven different teachers this year and at least 11 different books among the various hardback books, workbooks, and simple solutions books. That is a lot any way you look at it, and I am not sure the teachers are as understanding of this as they could be.

So I debate about when to send an email about a concern. I don't want to be that parent. But having the best interest of my child at heart, I feel I must speak up when Jordan has spent three hours on homework and test studying in one evening. I have twice questioned when assignments are due. When your child's teacher does not have a website, you cannot confirm that she wrote down the correct thing. I don't consider it bugging the teacher, but some teachers feel otherwise. Sigh.

I encourage my shy child to speak up when she is confused, whether about a concept or when something is due. But, for whatever reason, she is afraid to. Sigh.

The good news is that things are improving. Jordan is getting better about paying attention to when something is due and which books she needs to bring home. She finally seems to get that it is not enough to write down in her planner that she has a test in English. She actually needs to bring the English book home! But, to be perfectly frank, I have lowered my expectations, mostly because if I did not, I think the entire family would need to be in therapy.

In my last job, when things got hectic, some of us would say, "It is only office furniture." Now, I find myself saying, "It is only third grade."

Sure, I may be rocking back and forth while uttering that, but it is a start!

If you provide pizza, I will come.

2011-10-13T19:14:00.000-04:00

I was really trying to think of a catchy yet appropriately descriptive title for this post, but, alas, I did not really succeed. But here goes the post anyway.

You may recall that back in July, I attended a townhall for Raja, who is running for Allegheny County Executive. I came away impressed by what he said and convinced he was the right guy, and not just because there was free food involved.

Last evening, for the first time ever, I volunteered for a campaign (Raja's, in case you could not tell where this was going). I and three others from a local Republican group made phone calls for almost two and a half hours to people who were registered Republicans (at least they were at one point in time).

The whole operation seemed pretty slick. Let me explain how it works.

Each call is automatically dialed simply by your pressing the "next call" button.
You have a "script" you can read from, modifying what you say as needed.
If someone answers the phone, you identify yourself and say you are a volunteer for the Raja for County Executive campaign. (Most of the time I would ask to speak to the person whose name comes up on the phone screen.)
Next, you ask that person if he is planning to vote in the November 8 election.
Based on the response, you press the "yes," "no," or "maybe" button. A response of "yes" or "maybe" means that person will get a follow-up call closer to election time to remind him that his vote for Raja is needed.
If the person is still on the line and has not said no, you can say something like, "That's great," and then ask for his support for Raja.
You can say things like, "Raja has brought hundreds of jobs into the county" or "Raja is not a career politician. (Sometimes I would refer the person to Raja's website, particularly if that person did not know much about Raja.)
If the person seems enthusiastic, you can ask if he would be willing to volunteer. Either way, a screen on the phone comes up asking, "Do you wish to volunteer," and you must select the "yes" or "no" button. A response of yes may trigger a follow-up call; you should take the person's info regardless.
No matter what the person says, you should always thank him for his time.
If no one answers and the phone goes to voicemail, you can press the "voicemail" button, and a pre-recorded message is automatically left.
If there is no voicemail or if the line is busy, you push the "not home" button or the "busy" button, respectively, and that person will be called again later.
If the number turns out to be invalid, you press the "wrong number" button, and that number is removed from the phone bank.
If the person hangs up as soon as you identify yourself, you push a button (not sure the name of it), and that person will not be called again.
When you are finished with a call, you hit the "next call" button, the phone dials, and you start all over again.

I found the experience to be pretty interesting. Here are some memorable calls:

One person said that even though her son did not live there any longer (his name was on the list/he was the one I was calling), she assured me that Raja had her vote.

One woman who was handed the phone from her husband told me she did not have her hearing aid in, so I would need to call back later.

Another person told me she did not live in the city, so she could not vote for Raja; fortunately, I set her straight.

One guy quoted some misinformation from Raja's opponent's ad, and I, in turn, explained the facts. The guy then went on to talk about Raja's religion, which I find irrelevant (I realize some don't).

Twice when I asked for someone, and I was subsequently asked who was calling, after I said I was with the Raja campaign, I was put on hold and then hung up on. I had more respect for the people who right away said they were not interested and just hung up.

It is something I would definitely do again. And, about that title? Yes, we got pizza.

Vote Raja!

Something(s) good out of something dreaded

2011-10-11T08:36:00.000-04:00

It is hard to believe another year has passed since the day that probably 99 percent of the women out there dread. Oh, how I loathe my annual exam, but I am happy to report that two things happened to make it not so awful this year.

Through the apparently thin walls, I could hear the heartbeat of an unborn baby.

I have no idea what that instrument is called (the one that allows you to hear the heartbeat of an in-utero baby), but as I heard that sound from so long ago, my eyes immediately watered. The memories of that whoosh-whoosh-whoosh noise, from over eight years ago, came flooding back, and I was immediately reminded of the first time I heard Jordan's heart beating from inside by stomach. At the time, I had no idea what the sound was, and I had to ask the nurse if that was my baby's heartbeat. She said yes, and my eyes welled with tears.

I also remember the next time, when it took awhile for the instrument to pick up Jordan's heartbeat. I was supposed to get a sonogram that day, and for a moment, I was utterly panic-stricken, thinking my baby was not okay. I remember Brian had a pretty concerned look on his face. But then came the whoosh-whoosh-whoosh sound, the tears started flowing, and I thanked God.

Yesterday, I tried to imagine how the pregnant woman in the room next to me was feeling, assuming she was pretty happy. Maybe relieved. Perhaps even scared. But, man, it really is something to hear. (And, no, it did not make me want to have another child.)

The other thing that made me smile?

The doctor asked me how I stayed so thin.

Unfortunately, my weight was up a few pounds since last year, and I told the doc (technically, a CNM) I would like to drop a couple (enough to put me safely back on the other side of the 150 notch). The doctor then said she had no idea where I would lose that weight from. I contemplated jumping up and hugging her, but, considering the (ahem) position I was in, I opted not to. Regardless, even though I am fairly comfortable with my body (those two pounds not withstanding), it was nice to hear her say that.

Of course this trip did not end without a minor irritation, in the form of a specialist copay. Last year, I ranted about my having to pay a $25 copay instead of a $15 one, because apparently my annual exam was considered a specialist visit. I disagreed that there was anything special about my visit, and one of my readers disagreed with me. Ultimately, I ended up with a $10 refund a few months later, which I assumed was because I was right.

Well, we all know what happens when you assume.

I guess I will just have to wait to see if I get a refund this year. After all, I was seeing a certified nurse mid-wife, not a gynecologist, so one would assume she would be considered less of a specialist than a gynecologist.

Okay, I am done assuming now.

She was too young.

2011-10-04T12:21:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I found out a high school classmate had died. Because there were only about 115 in the class of '89, I knew everyone. In fact, I knew almost the entire high school, either by name or by face.

Crissy and I never hung out together, but we were always friendly and shared some of the same friends. She was in the marching band, and I was a flag twirler, so during the football season we saw each other more regularly. I don't think we ever had any classes together, and to the best of my recollection, we were never in the same homeroom.

But I knew her. She was nice. She was athletic. I seem to recall she was good at softball. We were "friends" on Facebook, so I know that she was an EMS, had a few dogs, loved the outdoors, and had recently moved.

I just now looked on her Facebook page and saw that she last commented on one of my posts on June 7. I made a comment about how I had graduated from high school that day 22 years ago, but at least I was not 40. Crissy wrote "You will be. We are all hitting that number."

But you know what? She hit 40 and will never get past it. When she made that comment, I am pretty sure she was not thinking her life on this earth would cease to exist in fewer than five months. But it did.

And I am sad. So very sad. A life too short. Family and friends left to grieve.

Rest in Peace, fellow Bobcat. You will be missed.

I am...

2011-10-02T22:18:00.000-04:00

A blog I visit from time to time recently had a post about free-writing. Well, that was the part of the post that most intrigued me: Kristen explained how she responded to a simple prompt of "I" and went on to write about herself uncensored for five minutes. As my 40th birthday looms ahead (just over two months), I decided to try this free-write myself.

So here goes nothing, off the cuff, from the heart.

I...

I worry a lot, about more things than I should.

I love my kid and my husband more than anything else. I love my kid more than my husband, and I know I probably should not.

I like football and hockey, to watch. I am a Steelers fan first and a Penn State fan second. Once I had a kid, I decided it was okay not to watch too many PSU games, but I do my best to watch all the Steelers games.

I don't think you should leave sporting events early unless you have an emergency or some pressing concern; whether it is a blowout or a close game, I want to see it all, get my money's worth, and support my team.

I really hope to go to a Pens game soon; the tickets are expensive, but I might just treat myself for my big bday this year!

I enjoy going to musicals. Before I had a kid, I had a subscription to Pittsburgh Musical Theater productions. I miss doing that.

I like to sing, though I don't do it as much or as well as I used to. Years ago, it was my goal to sing the "Star-Spangled Banner" at Three Rivers Stadium. Of course, that stadium was imploded in 2001 (which I witnessed first-hand), and I have not updated that goal to sing at Heinz Field.

I like to read and to write. Even though I have a degree in secondary English education, I don't enjoy literature as much as I do grammar; I think part of the reason is that I have not read as many classics as I probably should have. And I forget a lot of what I read.

I watch more TV than I should, but I find it is a good escape from life.

I really like to eat, and there is pretty much nothing I don't like or won't try. I should be a lot bigger than I am.

But I believe in staying active. I try to park far away from things, and I make sure to swim, run, and/or walk at least three times a week. Better than nothing.

I am mostly an optimist, but I am cynical sometimes.

Tonight I feel hopeful and mostly contented, even though the Steelers lost.

Tomorrow? Who knows.

That ^ was what I came up with, without putting any thought into it or worrying about how it sounded. It certainly does not thoroughly describe me, but it paints a picture of what I am thinking of right now. I am sure if I tried this exercise again in a day or two, I would come up with some different things.

But for now, I am done.

If this is how 8 is, God help me at 13.

2011-09-28T16:58:00.003-04:00

One of these days I may write a heartfelt, detailed blog post about the angst I am having with my eight-year-old child. But this is not one of these days. Instead, I wanted to share a few recent things.

Third grade is difficult. I cannot believe the amount of homework Jordan brings home most days. On a good night, she has about an hour; several times now she has had three-plus hours. Seems a bit excessive to me. On the bright side, she has pretty much gotten to the point where she remembers to bring the correct books home, which is a challenge considering most classes have a hardback book, a workbook, and a Simple Solutions book. I feel bad that my poor kid's backpack often weighs more than 25 percent of her body weight (yes, I have weighed it).
Jordan came home from school today with a flier for a Magic Treehouse book club and an American Girls book club, each of which will meet once a month during lunch. Jordan told me that most of the girls in her class are going to be in the American Girls book club. Jordan, however, is not like most of the girls and has opted for the Treehouse club. I like the idea of the American Girls dolls as far as promoting history via their characters and books, but $100 for a doll and a book? And $25 for a doll's outfit? I hate to spend that much on any one thing for my real kid! So, yeah, Magic Treehouse.
While Jordan was at a birthday party on Saturday, Brian and I had drinks, appetizers, and watched the Pens play some (preseason) hockey at TGI Friday's. It has been a loooooong time since we had a date, so I am glad we went. And, look at me, never thinking twice about dropping my kid off at this mini-golf place, even though several parents stayed the entire time. Who ya calling helicopter parent now?!
Finally, I had to share this funny thing Jordan said recently. She wondered where her one grandmother and her male friend slept on a trip since J was so sure they were in one hotel room. I told her that the room probably had two beds, as most hotel rooms do. I then said that God prefers that only married people sleep in the same bed. Jordan's response: "Mom, I don't think God cares where you sleep as long as you get sleep. That is what is important." Hard to argue with that logic.

Yeah, it is probably going to be a long year. :-)

I gotta be me!

2011-09-23T08:11:00.000-04:00

Earlier this week I had a 3.5-plus-hour interview. with six different people (separately), which far surpasses my previous interview record.

Up until I met with person number 6, I was able to think on my feet and answer whatever question or scenario put before me with relative ease. I felt pretty confident during the interviews. And I felt comfortable enough that I even joked with one person that I was hoping she was not going to ask me what I would do with a brick, as I had read online about someone being asked that very thing.

Based on what a few people said, it appeared that my confidence and outgoing personality were tipping the scales in my favor (since I was, quite frankly, lacking some of the qualifications). In fact, one person told me that the other interviewee he talked to, despite being more qualified, seemed timid; another person said I could be taught what was necessary, but personality, which he indicated was a good fit, could not be changed.

As I was reflecting back on my interview while walking in the parking lot of the seventh circle of hell (i.e., Walmart) yesterday, I flashed back to my first interview with my last full-time job, the one I had for 13 years. I was really nervous because I was in the "big city," and I was applying for a position that was so unlike what I was currently doing. I probably did not have a lot to say, and I am sure I did not exactly seem poised. At work the following week, I found out from my reference/coworker that my interviewer was concerned I was introverted. My coworker said it was all she could do not to laugh or drop the phone, and she assured my interviewer that I must have just been nervous.

When I thought about it, I realized that I have about 10 in-person job interviews (I am not counting second interviews) in my adult life. And yet despite my dearth of experience in that area, I have come a long way. Sure, I was really nervous going into Monday's interview, probably the most nervous I had been for awhile, due mostly to the length. But I think deep down I realized I had a lot to offer, and unlike some other people, my personality just might be able to tip the scales in my favor. As Brian said just before my interview, "You will do fine. Everyone loves you. Well, everyone except most of the moms in Jordan's school." ;-)

When my interview was over, I was delivered back to the woman in HR, who said the team thought I was a good fit. She then asked me if I would be interested in doing a three-month contract position to start off (the position was supposed to be full time/permanent). She said she needed to talk with a few people, and then she gave me a few details, including what it would be like on my first day. As I left, she said she would call me the next day. Unfortunately, the next day came and went, and I received an email the following morning informing me that the company decided to pursue other candidates who more closely match their requirements.

Of course, I was extremely disappointed. And confused. I assumed her talking about the contract position meant it was going to happen. But you know what people say about assuming. Regardless, if a similar situation arises, you can bet that I will say something like, "To confirm, you are offering me a contract position, but you just need to work out the details. Is that correct?" Nonetheless, I completely understand and respect their decision to find someone who is more qualified. And, hey, at least I can add marathon interview to my mental list of experiences!

So I am back to the drawing board. I am hopeful that a technical writing class that I had signed up for a few weeks ago will be beneficial. And maybe I will figure out which computer class is the right one for me, so I can advance my skills.

In the meantime, I will hold my head up high and be proud of what I did and who I am. Because I gotta be me. Who else would do it?!

Summer in review

2011-09-14T09:58:00.001-04:00

This summer I made it a point to try to take at least one pic of Jordan whenever we went somewhere, which most often was a park. I wanted to capture all the great, fun things we did this summer, knowing that it was probably going to be my last summer not working for quite some time.

So here goes.

I have expressed my love of Frick Park, particularly Blue Slide Park, in other posts; it really is one of our favorites. And this summer marked the first one I did not feel the need to follow J around like a little puppy dog. I actually let her run around and explore, though, admittedly, I would panic if more than three minutes went by and I had not seen her. In the pics above, J is at the end of the blue slide, and then hanging several feet above concrete (which scared the crap out of me).

We also visited another section of Frick Park, the area on the corner of Braddock and Forbes, a few times. There is not as much to do as Blue Slide, but we go there to mix things up a bit. In the photos above, Jordan is on a bridge on one of the trails and then at the top of a slide. I love the trails in Frick; I just wish I could follow them better or have some sense of how long they are...

We spent time at a few other parks in the eastern suburbs (Monroeville, Penn Hills, Forest Hills, etc.). Above are various photos from those outings. Apparently my girl has a lot of pink in her wardrobe! Any park near water is a big hit with Jordan. Unfortunately, sometimes the water appears to be from the sewer system...

This summer Jordan learned to ride a scooter. She is also pretty good at falling off the scooter. I have watched in horror as she flew off that baby on more than one occasion. But I kept calm. Yeah, me! Just because I needed another picture, I also included one of Jordan in front of a chicken at Yarnick's farm in Indiana. You just don't see a giant chicken every day...

Jordan also learned how to dive, for which I am super proud of her. Thanks to a pool membership, swim lessons (at the Boyce Park wave pool, during non-gun-shooting hours, apparently) and time at Nonnie's, we were able to get in a lot of swimming this summer.

In addition to visiting Kennywood Park, as I mentioned in another post, we were also fortunate enough to hit the Carnegie Museum of Natural History, a first visit for Jordan. Love the bone quarry digging area for the kids! I can, however, do without the stinky time capsule exhibit (which is not what the photo above is, in case that is not obvious)...

For one of our final adventures, we went to the Pittsburgh Zoo. We have gone there annually since Jordan was one or two; it really is a favorite destination for us. This year, however, we almost skipped out until in August I got an invite from the Penn State College of Education. They had me at "lunch included." As always, it was a great time, but of course a little warm. Any chance Jordan gets to touch or at least be near an animal, she is all for.

In addition to spending a week with our TX cousins at Nonnie's, that about covers what I often called "the summer of fun." I hope the memories last a long time for both of us, and that they overshadow what I also called "the summer of fighting," which someday I may break down and blog about...

10 years

2011-09-11T18:12:00.001-04:00

Every year I've had this blog, I've written a 9/11 post around that day. This year is no exception, though I have a slightly different angle.

After having watched a lot of 9/11 programs the past week, I was struck by some things I had forgotten about or had never considered to begin with.

As tragic as the great loss of life was, it could have been exponentially worse. I cannot say for certain how many people worked in the WTC buildings, but according to replays of coverage from that day, it was anywhere between 30,000 and 50,000. Yet thanks to the time of day and the heroic efforts of many, the casualties were under 3,000. That is something to be grateful for.

Ten year ago, I remember people complaining the Bush waited too long to speak to the nation. However, according to the some of the replays, Bush spoke soon after the second plane hit the WTC, but before the third plane hit the Pentagon. That does not seem like a long time. But then again, maybe I am not remembering people's beef. {Follow-up note: I am thinking the issue is that he did not address the nation again until that evening. I guess I can understand why people questioned his waiting that long.}

The other thing I realized is that in the 10 years since 9/11, I have pretty much gone through my 30s. On that day, I was fewer than three months from turning 30. This morning, as the names and ages of the people who died on 9/11 crawled across my TV screen, I realized how many people between the ages of 29 and 39 had died that day. I noticed a couple of 29-year-olds, and it hit me that those people never became older than 29, whereas I am now 39. I had a similar thought when I noticed the names of 39-year-olds. I have lived an entire decade since that horrible day, whereas those 39-year-olds (and of course everyone else) never lived another day. Time stopped for them and, in many ways, their families.

Today at church, coincidentally, a reading and gospel were about forgiveness, anger, and not seeking vengeance. Our priest said that when you do not forgive someone else, you are hurting only yourself, that forgiveness is more for you. Although I can appreciate his sentiment, I do think it is something that comes easier for someone like me, who did not lose a loved on that day. If I had, I am not sure how merciful I could be.

I can only hope and pray for a more peaceful world. Meanwhile, I will remember 9/11 like so many others.

God bless America

My brain hurts!

2011-09-09T20:56:00.000-04:00

Last week, I spent three days subbing for the math teacher, who, God bless her, teaches seven different math classes a day, ranging from pretty simple fifth grade math to basic geometry and algebra.

In high school, I was good at math. I took Algebra I, II, and III; trig; and geometry, and had straight A's save for one nine weeks of geometry. I quit calculus after one day because I had seen too many people in my school wreck their GPA for that apparently difficult class. Since I was planning to teach English, I did not see the point. Once I got to college, I needed only two math classes, one of which was a great stat class. After that, I figured I would never need math again (you know, calculators and all). But, alas, I figured incorrectly.

In the fall of 1994, I was hired to teach the English classes at a business college. Because they needed to fill a period of my schedule, I ended up teaching a business math class my first quarter there. One might think with my math skills, teaching simple business math would not be so bad. But one would be wrong!

Dear readers, at that point, I had never even balanced a checkbook. Which might help to explain why in college I was often at the ATM wondering why I had no money to take out when according to my checkbook, I should have had at least three or four Andrew Jacksons.

Somehow I made it through that one quarter of math class and eventually convinced my students I was not a complete idiot when it comes to math (note to self: not a good idea to share with your business math students that you have never balanced your checkbook). In fact, within the first few weeks of teaching that class, I spent a couple of evenings going through 18 months of checking account spending and actually figuring it out to the penny. And, yes, I shared that with my students. (For the record, I have not balanced my checkbook in a few years.)

But back to my subbing last week.

When you have done nothing more complicated than third grade math for over a decade and a half, trying to figure out perimeters of various shapes attached to various other shapes, remembering how to divide and multiply fractions, and solving various word problems is no walk in the park. You just can't tell the kids the answer and move on, at least not the kids who want to learn and understand. And as I also discovered, just because the brightest kid in the class may be able to correctly answer even the most complicated problem doesn't mean he can explain it to others.

In the end, I did my best, explaining what I could and admitting to the two problems I could not figure out. My brain got a great workout, and for a few days, my oft-failing memory was revived.

I felt exhausted, but good (and of course super-smart), and for a few moments, I actually considered going back to school to teach math.

But then I remembered calculus. And that math gets much harder than what I was teaching.

I think I will just stick to what I know.

But who knows? Maybe someday I will balance my checkbook again.

On second thought, there are probably five parts.

2011-09-05T11:33:00.001-04:00

Well, my brake-car conundrum did not turn out as I had expected. Not surprisingly, the gurgling sound my car was making pretty much stopped after I made the appointment with my mechanic, which is precisely what happened the last time my car was making funny noises. But since I needed an oil change anyway, and my new brakes do squeal, I went ahead with my appointment.

According to a guy at my mechanic's, my brakes are fine. He said a "different" material was used on the brakes, and I am probably just not used to the sound. Although I feel good (well, better) knowing that there does not appear to be a problem with my brakes, I don't feel great knowing that I can most likely expect to hear these various sounds again. One would think with the money I spent on my brakes in June, I could expect them to be noise-free. One (i.e., I), however, would be wrong.

Worth noting is my mechanic did not charge me to try to figure out what was the wrong this time, although let me tell you my oil change was not cheap. Still, I cannot bring myself to go back to Monro's for those free oil changes. And speaking of free oil changes...

My mechanic also replaced a missing oil plate or cap or gasket or something like that (I am not home to look at my receipt). Apparently, when I last had my oil changed, whoever did it neglected to put that piece back on, and my car has leaked oil (at times) ever since.

Sigh.

In case you were wondering, my last two oil changes were at the local (Cochran) dealership, for free. Last summer, GM sent me some coupons as a "peace offering" since Saturn no longer exists (I have a Saturn Vue). I guess they wanted us Saturn owners to think that even though Saturn has bailed, the local dealership would take care of us regardless.

Yep, I am surely feeling the love.

To sum it all up, I have now ruled out Jiffy Lube, Monro, and Cochran for car work. And there is no such thing as a free lunch.

If only I could fly myself places or teleportation existed...

This is probably part 3 of 4

2011-08-30T09:47:00.000-04:00

About 2.5 months ago, I wrote about my brake rip-off at Monro. Unfortunately for me, I neglected to do a follow-up post. If I had, I would have told you that I filled out an online survey about 10 days later, completely bashing my experience. The very next day, I received a call from J, the guy at the local Monro, who tried to explain himself. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say he did nothing to convince me to come back.

Around this time, my car started to make funny noises, some of which sounded like knocking. I took it to my usual mechanic, who simply tightened my caliper mounting bracket. When I asked what this was about, my mechanic asked if I had recently had brakes put on. Grr. Apparently, had my mechanic not made this fix, my brakes could have eventually fallen off. Lovely.

I called Monro that afternoon to tell J what happened. He told me if I brought the bill in, he would pay for it. Or I could have two free oil changes. I, stupidly, opted for the oil changes, which I have not yet used, and don't plan to, because here comes part 3:

Last week, my car started making another funny noise that I liken to a stomach gurgling. I ignored it until yesterday, when I noticed that on top of the gurgling noises, my car is also making knocking noises, similar to the one it made when I had had my brakes replaced.

Sigh.

So I scheduled an appointment for tomorrow with my regular mechanic. If it has anything to do with my brakes, which I am pretty sure it does since I notice it only when I brake, I will be stopping into Monro and demanding they pay for the bill. I am also going to take in my bill from the caliper tightening and have him pay for that, rather than get the free oil changes. If my plan does not work, and I may do this anyway, I intend to contact Channel 4 and perhaps the newspaper(s). I have put fewer than 2,000 miles on my car since I had all that brake work done. This is ridiculous.

I hope this turns out well, that it can easily be corrected, and that J at Monro pays for it willingly (assuming it is brake-related). I also hope this is not an error on my mechanic's part. I can't take more shoddy work from anyone else.

I could really use an easy button right now.

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

2011-08-25T10:26:00.004-04:00

Yesterday in the 5 o'clock hour, I was happily braiding Jordan's hair. After a few minutes, we heard what sounded like firecrackers. I normally call them fireworks, but because of the popping sound I heard, I am going with firecrackers. I commented to Jordan that I wondered what sort of holiday I had forgotten about, as I could not imagine why some idiots would be setting off fireworks at the end of August. I yelled to Brian, who was making dinner in the kitchen (yes, I am very lucky my hubby cooks), if he had heard the fireworks.

He came into the room, looked at me seriously, and said those were not fireworks.

Sigh.

And, lo and behold, about 20 or so minutes later, Brian got an update on his super-smart phone that said a teenager had been shot outside of the local McDonald's. The same McDonald's I had just taken Jordan to last week. The one where we eat outside at the Play Place whenever it is nice. The one we go to at least once every other month.

Between the 18-year-old victim and the shooter(s), there were more than a dozen shots fired. The victim was apparently lying on the sidewalk, bleeding, with a gun in his hand. He died a few hours later.

Why?

Yes, I ask this question a lot. I don't really expect anyone to answer it for me. But I am going to keep asking it.

I am going to keep wondering why too many people insist on throwing their lives away before they are really even started.

I am going to keep questioning why too many people think that violence is a solution to anything.

I wanted to write a light post today, celebrating Jordan's first day of third grade. But instead, I am, once again, feeling sad about the state of the world and where I live. It may be worth noting that as I drove past the McDonald's this morning, it was business as usual, crowded as ever.

Sigh.

Going on 13

2011-08-22T09:03:00.002-04:00

Jordan turned eight on Saturday. At some point, I will probably break down and write a post about my failing as a parent. But today is not that day; I want to keep it light!

Jordan's big thing on her birthday was getting her ears pierced. I do not have my ears pierced. My parents told me I had to wait until I was 12 or 13, which really made me sad at the time, as every other girl in my class had her ears pierced. However, I eventually got over that, and when I finally was old enough, I pretty much lost interest. Plus I cannot stand pain. (In my defense, I birthed my kid without drugs. That pain was awful, but yet I still fear pain and avoid it at all costs, which explains why I am 20-some years overdue for a tetanus shot. Also worth noting that I cried during my sonogram. Yes, I am strange.)

Jordan talked about getting her ears pierced back when she was four or five, but Bri and I thought she should wait until she was a little older. We did not have an exact age in mind, but I knew it was not going to be the too-old teenage years. Last year I asked her if she wanted to do it, but she said no, surprisingly. I asked her again just a month or so ago, and she said she did not care, mostly because she was afraid of the pain, which I may have talked up a bit (I admit, I kind of wanted her to be like me).

Completely out of the blue, two days before her birthday, Jordan decided that she was ready to take the big step. I was a little excited for her, but also a little sad for my occasionally self-centered self (is that an oxymoron?). We had this special hole-less ear thing going for ourselves, and we would no longer share that. But I got over it, and we made plans after I consulted my Facebook friends for some recommendations.

Jordan's Grammy, Gigi (great-grandma), and I took her to Claire's Saturday afternoon. Here are some photos of the event.

Jordan said the first ear hurt, and she was not sure she could go through the second one. But the woman was great, assuring her, and she just did it. J got over the pain pretty fast, and she seemed happy, proud, and perhaps a little goofy.

I like to think we did not look like complete idiots fawning over Jordan and taking pictures, since this happened in the window of Claire's, for all mall goers to see. But I am okay if we did.

That's my baby girl. The one who can take pain better than I can. Now if only I could freeze time and stop her from growing up, at least for a little while...

Standing up for what is right

2011-08-19T13:29:00.004-04:00

An Indiana County (where I grew up) photographer has pretty much gone viral with the way she stood up to some high school bullies. This woman, Jen McKendrick, came across some online bullying on Facebook. When she realized that some of the bullies had scheduled their senior portraits with her, Jen took a stand and emailed the kids and their parents to tell them that she could not be their photographer because of what they did. As Jen says it, she did not want to spend several hours with people who are ugly on the inside.

Here is a link to her blog, which explains what happens in her own words. WTAE Channel 4 in Pittsburgh also featured her in a brief clip yesterday. I "liked" her Jen McKen page yesterday on Facebook, where she now has over ~~6,600~~ ~~10,500 12,500 17,000~~ 19,000 followers, up from over 2,000 when the story first came out (I am guessing she had a few hundred, perhaps close to a thousand, followers before all this happened). It was from that FB page I learned that she has now been mentioned in an article on the Huffington Post as well as on news stations around the country. Wow.

If you have read this blog for at least a year, you know how much it bothers me when people are mean to others. As the mother of a soon-to-be-eight-year old (tomorrow!) who goes to Catholic school, I have seen first hand how mean kids can be. I have blogged about some of my kid's experiences as well as some of my own. So in my opinion, anything that elevates the impact bullying has on today's youth (and even on adults) is great.

One of the great things about this story is she never mentioned the girls' names. I would hate to think these girls would gain some noteriety because of what they did. But with the tremendous amount of support Jen has gained, I am hopeful that these girls and others who come across her story will learn some important lessons:

Facebook is not private. Whatever you put out there, almost anyone can find, even if indirectly.
There are sometimes consequences for your actions. I wish there were always consequences, but this I will take.
It is not okay to be mean. You don't have to like someone or how he/she looks. But there is no reason to be vicious or hurtful.

If Jen's actions cause even a few people to stop bullying others, then she will have done a darn good thing. If nothing else, based on the many positive comments I have read on Facebook, she has touched a lot of people who have been bullied. Perhaps those people will now have the courage to stand up for others and/or themselves. Here's to the good ones!

I bet not many people have done this before...

2011-08-14T15:09:00.000-04:00

See those two shoes up there? The ones that don't match, not even close? Yours truly managed to leave the house last night in those completely different shoes.

Apparently, when I checked myself out in the mirror before I left, I failed to look at my feet, which is not too surprising considering I pretty much never do that. What is odd is that I must have put each shoe on without looking at what I was doing. For the love of Pete, I know those shoes are slip-ons/backless, but how could I not catch a glimpse of them while sliding my tootsies in?! And as you can see from the photo, the structure is quite different. Any marginally coherent or observant person should notice that they don't feel the same.

Yet I, apparently as clueless as they come, managed to walk out of the house and drive to the Strip District without noticing anything was amiss. When I got of my car almost 30 minutes later and took a few steps, then I decided to look down. Oddly enough (but clearly not surprisingly at this point), at first I noticed only one of my shoes, the one with the buckle, and I thought right away I must have found the missing one (as I was getting dressed earlier, I found only one buckled one, and I guess as I started to look at my collapsed shoe rack for the other, I must have gotten distracted). It was at this point, I finally noticed the altogether different show on my right foot.

What is a girl to do? I was supposed to meet a good friend from college and a handful of her other friends to celebrate her 40th birthday, so I walked with my head held high, and I entered Eleven (a nice restaurant in the Strip). As the first person to arrive, however, I opted to hide my feet at the table, rather than wait in the lounge. And although my secret would have probably been safe, I decided to share my almost-too-hard-to-believe tale with the group. At least everyone started off the evening with a good laugh. Kind of hard to top that.

And to think I was the only one in the group still in my 30s...

A New York state of mind

2011-08-10T08:56:00.004-04:00

As I was trying to fall asleep last night, our family vacation to NYC, back when I was around 9, came to mind. I am certain this memory came from something else, and perhaps by the time I finish this post, it will come to me.

Only a handful of things from that trip have remained in my memory. We took a train to get there, and I remember sitting next to a nice, bearded guy who played games or talked to me for most of the ride. As I was thinking about that last night, I was pretty sure there is no way I would let my kid, who will be 8 in just over a week, sit next to a man we did not know. But times have changed, and I am over-protective (but, I swear, getting better).

I also recall fearing that something bad was going to happen, such as our getting robbed in the middle of the street. I cannot remember why I felt that way; I find it hard to believe at age 9 I had any clue about NYC or had watched anything negative about it on TV. But I had that worry, which fortunately did not come to pass.

I remember taking my first cab ride, which seemed long and yet ended up almost where we started. I think our cab driver told us the place we were going to stay was no good, and he suggested another hotel. I forget how we ended up back at the original place, but I definitely remember the grand staircase in that lobby.

I can picture the Statue of Liberty in my mind, and I think we went inside but not up, or at least not the whole way to the top.

I also recall having an ear pain and my parents giving me ear drops and putting cotton in my ears. At one point, I remember being in our hotel room, taking the cotton ball out, and seeing a small bug on it. Lovely memory, eh? But I also remember that my ear pain went away after that. For some reason, a memory of a sandwich comes to mind, but I am not sure if it relates to being in our hotel room or being at the Statue of Liberty. I am not surprised that food has stayed in mind!

The only other thing that sticks out in my mind, which for some odd reason took me years after the fact to recall, was being at the top of the World Trade Center, in an indoor observation deck. I still remember walking around that area with my brothers, looking at displays. I cannot remember, however, going outside the WTC, though I think I remember being outside the Empire State Building. I should probably confer with my family to get my story straight. I actually think my memory of being at the top of the WTC came back sometime after 9/11. Memories are weird like that.

I finished this post and still don't remember what led me to my New York state of mind last night. But I am certain in a few weeks, I will be thinking of that city a lot, and, once again, recalling the events of September 11, 2001.

In the meantime, I can't help but think that what happens around us and what we see leads us to remember past events. Any memories on your mind?

For every action, there is an equal, but opposite, reaction

2011-08-07T21:38:00.001-04:00

Or something like that.

Over the past few years, I have gotten a lot more environmentally friendly. But I am afraid the more I try to do to help better the environment, the more I end up hurting it, or wasting, at least in some other way.

Example 1: I use reusable bags every time I shop. (I make an exception for my Kohl's visits, as I use those bags to line my bedroom garbage can.) The problem is, the bags get dirty and germy, so I sometimes spray them with a disinfectant spray. But isn't that just harming the environment too?

Example 2: Years ago, before I lived in a place that recycled, I threw things in the garbage as soon as I finished them. End of story (for me, anyway). But now I rinse jars, jugs, and cans because I don't think you are "supposed" to leave food particles, remnants of PB, etc., on them. And that, of course, means using water unnecessarily. Maybe I don't need to do this, though?

That said, I have made some recent changes that seem to help the world without hurting it in some other way (at least as far as I can tell):

When I shave my legs, I turn off the water. This works in the summer because I don't get cold standing in the shower with no water on me (it probably helps that I take cool showers). And I use the water from my shower to rinse my legs (I put the drain stop in during my shower to collect water). I don't do this in the winter because I get too cold, but I also tend to shave only once a week then, so not as big of a deal. :-)
I run the washer, dryer, and dishwasher only when they are full, and I try to do these things in the evening whenever possible. I also do most of my laundry in cold water. And I stopped rinsing most of my dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
I try to combine trips whenever possible. In fact, many times when I volunteered for lunch duty at J's school last year, rather than go home for an hour and a half before pick up, I went for a walk, took a run, or helped out in some other way at the school. And unlike at least half of the parents at pick up, I don't run my car while waiting. I don't care if it is 30 degrees or 90 degrees. I deal with it.
I try to buy refillable stuff whenever possible. I wish more of the products I liked offered this (Bath and Body Works, are you listening?!). And sometimes it ends up costing more to go this route, so I don't always take it. But I do what I can.
I recently started bringing home my mother's empty plastic bottles and cardboard to be recycled. Pretty much everything imaginable can be recycled where I live, but in my mom's neighborhood, only glass, cans, and newspapers are recyclable. And unfortunately, that woman goes through a lot of plastic.
And one good thing about my no longer working at my last job? I don't sit in traffic contributing to all those emissions!

If you want to see how you are doing and how you can improve, check out this calculator from the EPA. You don't have to be a tree-hugger or a climate change proponent to realize some things we do impact the world around us, even if just a little.

In the meantime, if you want to brag about what you do, I would love to hear it. I am certain many people do a far better job than I do, but every little bit helps. The planet we may save is our own.

Is self-awareness a good or a bad thing?

2011-08-04T14:49:00.001-04:00

I consider myself to be extremely self-aware. It is more than that really; unfortunately, I just don't know the correct, most applicable adjective to describe how obvious all my short-comings are to me.

I am long-winded. Obviously, I ramble on and on (and on and on) in most posts on this blog. I have little doubt that most of you who read my blog skim it, rather than reading every single word. It's tiring just writing the posts! And I know that I talk too much (and sometimes interrupt people as a result of my talking so much). However, when I am around people whom I don't know well, I am actually pretty good at letting others take over the conversation. At a neighbor's party two weeks ago, I spent about one and a half hours talking to a woman I had just met. Actually, I talked about 15 minutes; my "new friend" pretty much monopolized the rest of the conversation, which was fine by me.

I get bent out of shape about things I probably should not. Last week, my little brother and his family were at my mother's for an extended visit. I found myself getting supremely annoyed by how late the kids stayed up. In this household, Jordan is in bed around 9 p.m. during the summer. I don't mind her staying up past that when she and I visit my mom. But when my kid is still up at 11 p.m., I get really irritated, rather than tell myself it is just for a couple of nights (in my defense, it it were only one night, I would be fine with it).

I am messy. I am rarely bothered by accumulating dust. I see the top of my bedroom dresser only about two or three times a year. And I can walk by the various pieces of dirt the dog tracks in for over a week before dragging out the vacuum. I cannot, however, stand a messy sink or a dirty bathtub.

I am cheap. And I am quite certain my friends and family don't want to hear about the little money I have or why I can't do this or that, but it is what it is, and I am who I am. The upside of my being cheap and having lived beneath our means for so long has put us in a better position than others in our situation. Cutting things out is not a huge deal to me, and the money we have saved over the years will help pay the bills. This is what I tell myself, anyway, when I feel sorry for myself for not spending the money when I had it...

I obsess about silly things. As Brian often points out, I can spend 30 minutes on hold trying to get a $1 credit on my phone bill, but I won't take 10 minutes to clean out my car. I like to think of as more like my being highly principled. If I think I have been ripped off, I will fight for it.

Finally, one of my biggest issues right now is my parenting. I am so aware of all the things I am doing wrong (unlike so many parents) yet I keep doing them. Last week I started reading Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child. I can see myself in most of the pages, and fortunately, I have gotten a better as far as saying exactly what I expect from Jordan and what will happen if she does not follow through. Unfortunately, I need to follow through myself every single time. Which I don't. Yeah, I really need to fix this one.

My list of faults goes on and on as have my ramblings, so I will stop now before I put all of you to sleep. I guess being self-aware is a bad thing when you don't try to fix all your short-comings. Sigh.

Kate and Peter's Treehouse, meeting 3

2011-07-29T14:41:00.002-04:00

Last night, Jordan and I attended the third of three public meetings related to Kate and Peter's Treehouse.

When we arrived at the tent at the Frick Environmental Center, Jordan and I were greeted by Marijke Hecht, Pittsburgh Parks Conservancy director of education. She asked Jordan if she saw her picture on a recent Conservancy email, to which Jordan happily (and slightly embarrassed) replied yes. (A few days ago, I received an email about this night's meeting, and when I opened it, there was Jordan's picture, messy hair and all, larger than life. Cool.)

But on to the important stuff. At this latest meeting, once we arrived at the actual site, we were greeted by large posters about the project. Here are a few pictures. Unfortunately, the wind was blowing, and my phone takes crappy pictures, but it will give you some sense.

The posters also included some photos from the previous meetings as well as some of the comments that people wrote at the meetings. Here are a few of those (and my kid, again!).

Just beyond those posters, we saw a model of the preliminary design for the treehouse. Here are a couple photos of that. The area in the middle of the below photo is the existing observation deck. The area to the left of that is the proposed treehouse.

The mesh area in the left-hand side of the picture is going to be a walkway that will allow the kids to see the trees below. Some suggestions at the prior meetings included the treehouse's creating a feeling as if you were in the trees/"above it all." This walkway, most likely made of a rope or rope-like material, fits that bill.

The treehouse may also include a slide as a way to get from one area to another. I brought up having a tire swing, something Jordan and I had originally suggested, but, apparently, the city is not fond of anything too "playgroundy," presumably for liability reasons. However, one of the people involved with the project (not sure in what way) said that perhaps a hanging seat made of a tree slice could be included, as long as it was not too swing-like.

To that end, below is a picture of some of the tree slices and a "tree" seat, which Jordan is sitting on (Amy is standing to the left of Jordan). I am not sure if these particular tree pieces are going to be used in the treehouse, or if they were just a representation.

Finally, here is a photo that Jordan's kindergarten teacher took (she was Kate's kindergarten teacher a year earlier and she had Peter for preschool). In this picture, Amy is trying to explain the model to me. Despite the expression on my face, it was not complicated; I was probably just trying to balance my ever-present food!

I am excited about the project and hope the city does what it needs to do so that the construction can start soon. I know how much it means to Amy; she has worked so hard for this and deserves this for her children. I am confident it will be a wonderful, lasting tribute to Kate and Peter that many kids will be able to enjoy.

Random ramblings (or A little knowledge is dangerous)

2011-07-21T20:58:00.002-04:00

There is no one thing at the top of my noodle, so here are some random ramblings about things I should probably know more about than I do.

I keep vacillating about privatizing the state liquor stores. PA is one of the few (maybe two?) states that operates this way. The prices are high. The selection is minimal, though for someone like me whose buying consists of one box/cube of margaritas every month, I don't notice it as much (well, I have noticed that my usual brand has been MIA the last two times). And the service I have received at my local store is rather lacking. For those reasons, I have supported privatization for years. Yet now that it seems as if we are getting closer, I can't help but think that a year or two after the state gets the initial windfall from selling off the licenses (which you just know will be spent ASAP), PA will be in really bad shape. Won't the state be missing that revenue that comes for all the sales? I don't think the sales tax will be enough.
I wish I better understood the debt ceiling conundrum. From what little I know, the issue seems akin to people who spend more money than they have rather than cut back, but I am sure it is not that simplistic. What is worse is that I am not as concerned about this as I probably should be. I know so many people who live above their means, so why not the government?! (For the record, sometimes I do worry about where the US is going to be in a few years. I don't think the future is so bright for generations ahead, but hopefully I am wrong.)
Litter still bugs the crap out of me. I just don't understand what goes through the minds of people who see fit to dump their empty chip bag or McD's cup on the ground. One of these days I am going to confront someone about this. I just hope you don't see me on the news because I finally decided I could no longer take it. :-)
After spending a couple of days with my three nephews, ages 1, 3, and 5, I am happy to say I felt no yearnings to have another baby. Nope, the oven is off and is going to stay that way as far as I can tell. (I do, however, love those guys to pieces and wish they lived closer.)
How about them Buccos? For years I have been hoping for the team to break .500. Aim high, I know. But I really think this is going to be that year. I am not ready to get excited about the possibility of playoffs just yet, but I can be happy that the Jolly Roger is being raised with regularity.
And on that note, I will end on a request to be kind. Try to preform a random act of kindness. You may be surprised at how much better you will feel about doing something nice for someone else.

He has my vote!

2011-07-15T09:53:00.000-04:00

I wish I could do this post the justice it deserves, but I have big to-do list in front of me and not a lot of time. But here goes anyway.

Two nights ago, I attended a town hall meeting that Raja, who is running for Allegheny County Executive, hosted. Two days prior, I received a recorded phone from Raja briefly explaining this event. Since I voted for the man in the primary, I had nothing else going on, and free refreshments were part of the evening, how could I say no?!

Raja started off the event by asking the small group what they liked, what they did not like, and what they would change about Allegheny County. The answers were generally not surprising. Parks, sports, theaters, education (universities), hospitals, and people were among the likes. Taxes, road construction, transportation (specifically the Port Authority), and many municipalities/governments were among the dislikes. Raja shared with us some of his findings (surprisingly to me, young people in the area listed efficient mass transportation as a top concern, even over the drink tax). And then he went on to talk about his plan for the county, which includes the following:

Lowering taxes/fees and balancing budgets (something he has had success at in Mt Lebanon)
Innovating mass transit
Modernizing county government and improving services
Growing the economy, which does include the controversial Marcellus shale (his goal is to protect the environment and the workers)
Creating an innovation/technology corridor at the under-used airport (he co-founded a technology company in the area that now employs hundreds of people)

You can visit his website, joinraja.com, to read more about him and his policies.

I came away from that one-hour meeting convinced that Raja is the right guy for the job. He is an articulate, smart, successful businessman with some great ideas and a lot of knowledge. He talked about integrity, something he seems to have, which is so important to me.

A couple of people asked him things I had never considered, and quite frankly had no idea about it, and Raja never missed a beat answering these questions. At one point, when he talked about his electability, he repeated something that the mother of an elected (democrat) official said: If you can trust your life to an Indian doctor, you can certainly trust Allegheny County to an Indian CEO.

Raja intends to host about 70 town hall meetings over the summer, during what is the "dead season" of the campaign. That alone impressed me. He obviously is interested in what the people have to say and what they want to see. He is not part of the "same-old" regime.

Please consider attending a meeting in your area to see him in action and ask him some questions. I am confident the vast majority of you will come away wanting to vote for him in November as well. At the very least, you will be helping yourself make an informed decision.

Truth or Consequences

2011-07-12T17:05:00.000-04:00

So another Steeler is in trouble. Sheesh. Unfortunately, this time the offender happens to be my favorite player, Hines Ward. He whom I voted for on "Dancing with the Stars" many, many times. He of the only Steelers jersey I have ever owned. He whom I waited in line for an hour or so back in 2002 to have him sign said jersey. [Note: I generally disdain the whole autograph thing, but I made an exception because I owned his jersey, he was making an appearance 10 minutes from my house, and PSU was losing the football game I was watching at the time.]

But back to issue at hand. A few nights (well, early mornings) ago, Hines was pulled over for driving erratically. When the story first came out, his agent/manager said Hines was not impaired while driving. But according to the police report, his eyes were bloodshot and glassy, he failed some field sobriety tests (alphabet, walking and turning, standing on one leg), and he registered a .128 on a portable breathing test (he refused the apparently more accurate Breathalyzer).

Hines has a couple inches on me, and he undoubtedly weighs more than I do and has much less body fat. Yet I am pretty certain if I had only two beers more than two hours prior to being pulled over, which is what Hines said was the case, my BAC would be well below the legal limit and I could successfully pass pretty much any sobriety test (maybe not the balance one, but I have trouble with that on a good day).

So how can I come to any conclusion other than a rich man, who could afford to pay for a cab or a driver, not only drove drunk but also lied about what he did?

And that is the part that bothers me most.

I don't hold athletes, movie stars, singers, politicians, etc., to any higher standard than I hold the rest of "us"; I expect the best out of people regardless. And nearing the top of being the best is not lying. I am so tired of people denying affairs, lying about stealing, whatever the indiscretion is, and then coming off all "poor me," "I did nothing wrong," "there was a vast right-wing conspiracy."

Yes, drinking and driving is wrong. But unfortunately, I doubt there are too many of us who have ever consumed alcohol who can honestly say that at least once we probably should not have gotten behind the wheel. I can use the excuse that I was young, particularly because I cannot imagine doing it now, at almost 40. And once I became a parent, the thought pretty much chilled me. But I can admit that what I did many, many years ago was wrong. So wrong. I am so glad that nothing happened.

Let's just hope Hines can man up. But even if he can't, perhaps this can at least serve as a wake-up call to him and his many adoring fans.

The truth shall set you free!

Having fun with grownups

2011-07-09T10:08:00.001-04:00

When I worked at my last (almost full-time) job, I did not go out a lot without the kid for the mostly obvious reasons: I felt guilty missing the few waking hours I had with her, and I really just missed her. That is why while at my last job, I often talked coworker friends into two-hour lunches or leaving at 3 p.m. for early happy hour; I hardly missed any evening hours with J and I still got to have grownup fun.

One would think when you have not worked regularly for over two years, the guilt of being away from your kid would lessen. But if you know me and how my mind works, you would know it really has not and it goes beyond money.

At swim lessons last week, two moms and I were talking about how when our husbands spend time with the kids (or kid, in my case), although we are grateful to have that time alone, we often find ourselves missing our kids, wishing they would hurry home, or in my case, often joining in on whatever Bri and Jordan are doing. Fortunately (for lack of a better word), because J and I have been driving each other crazy with all this time we have spent together over the past month, I am a little more willing for just Brian to spend time with Jordan. But for the most part, I still am with her, willingly, a lot.

Last evening, however, I made some real progress. I met up with a bunch of former coworkers at that German place in the South Side (that I am too lazy to Google to get the correct spelling). The past two summers 8 to 10 of us would meet at this place for a few hours, and both times I took Jordan. But this year, it was a big gathering, in honor of a former coworker, and I decided to leave Jordan at home. And you know what, as I walked out the door (and even when I first got the invite) I did not feel guilty.

In fact, I had originally considered coming home by 9, to kiss my kid good night. But at 8:30, I was have such a nice time catching up with these people, some of whom I had not seen in probably four or five years, and enjoying my German beer (mmm, dunkel) that I decided my kid would be just fine without her good night kiss from me.

And you know what? She was. And, more significantly, so was I.

I am not ready to meet friends for happy hour every week or even every month (mostly because of money), but I am going to try to get out there more and let go just a little bit. Baby steps.

Wish me luck!

Should we save people from themselves?

2011-07-06T11:51:00.000-04:00

Today's question is brought to you by some (of whom I consider) stupid parents. Maybe I am just being overprotective, but these things, in general, seem like a bad idea. Agree or disagree?

Letting kids ride a bike without a helmet
A couple of kids in my neighborhood regularly ride their bikes helmet-less. I know "when we were kids" we did not do this, but the law states if you are under 12, you must wear a helmet when riding a bike. I don't know if it is parents (or kids) being lazy, feeling goofy, or not wanting to spend the money, but when you consider the statistics and how much more expensive it will be to pay for a hospital visit, why not just do it?

What is worse is for a week I watched a dad let his two kids, a girl who looked about 10 and a boy who was probably between 12 and 15, ride a motorbike without a helmet. Not only is it extremely dangerous, especially considering the boy was popping wheelies(!), but it is also illegal for an unlicensed motorbike to be on a residential street. I drew the line in this instance and called the police, though to be honest safety was not the only factor; the noise from this bike would regularly assault our ears for an hour or two at a time. I like to think I might have helped save a life (and my ears).

Keeping kids away from fireworks
Not surprisingly, this past fourth of July weekend, I watched a group of people, including kids who probably ranged in age from 6 to upper teens, set off roman candles and play with sparklers. I could picture the littlest kids getting burnt considering how close they were standing to the fireworks. As a kid, I witnessed a firework tipping over and heading straight towards the porch filled with relatives. Scary. And although sparklers are cool looking, those babies can reach temps of up to 2000 degrees. Perhaps under the watchful eye of a parent, it may be okay for a kid (not a little one) to have a sparkler, but that's probably about it.

Not watching your kids/charges when they swim
This is my biggest gripe, especially considering the number of drownings (and near drownings) that have been reported in just over a month. I just don't understand why parents (or those in charge) are not constantly watching their kids. You cannot assume someone else is doing it, and it is silly to think that because your kid is in floaties or an inner tube, that he or she is safe.

The city pools allow kids who are six and older to swim without adult supervision. I don't care how good of a swimmer a six- or seven- (or eight-, nine-, or ten-, for that matter) year old is; that is too young to drop off a kid for a few hours You simple cannot rely on the lifeguards to keep track of everyone. I don't think I am being overly cautious here.

At our pool, where there are no lifeguards on duty, the rules clearly state that children under 18 must be accompanied by an adult. Considering you can be a lifeguard once you are 16 (younger in some places), that rule seems a bit stringent. But I have seen plenty of 9- and 10 year-old kids swim without a parent, and it concerns me.

My kid is a good swimmer (she moved up three swimming groups this summer!). But I don't take my eyes off her for more than about 15 to 20 seconds at a time, while swimming laps. Even then, I do the backstroke away from her and a front stroke towards her so I am watching her pretty constantly. But to just let your kid swim alone, or to talk on the phone while your three year old floats in an inner tube seems like an unnecessary risk.

Leaving your kids home alone when they are too young
I could write a separate post on this one and may some day. But it appears that once again, a Pittsburgh mom has left her young kids (in this case 7 and 4) home alone while she was at work or someplace else. Very tragically, these two boys died in a fire. I have no idea how old Jordan will be when I let her stay home alone, probably older than most would be since she is an only child, but 7 and 4 is beyond ridiculous. I think 10 and 7 would have been too young.

I am not sure what the answer is, but perhaps I will try to watch out for others and educate people, even at the risk of making some of them angry. You?

The bombs bursting in air

2011-07-05T09:02:00.000-04:00

I hope all of you had a nice 4th of July. I took some time to look over the Declaration of Independence, to remind myself of what the holiday is about. But let's face it, fireworks, cooking out, and spending time with family and friends are a nice part of the day too.

Here are a couple pics of some of the fireworks going off. We went to Monroeville this year to see them. I just can't bring myself to drive downtown with all the Regatta traffic. Turns out my tendency towards oldness was a good thing this year since everyone who went down early got drenched. On the other hand, we drove right into a store's parking lot about 20 minutes before the bombs were bursting in air, had a great view, spent some time together as a family, and were home about 15, maybe 20 minutes after the light display ended.

I will not dwell on the jagoffs two streets over who were setting off fireworks until after 1 a.m. this morning. I won't think about the state of the union right now. I will just be happy for those colorful 30-some minutes last evening that allowed me to just be with my family and think about nothing else.

A penny saved is pretty much just that

2011-06-29T11:17:00.005-04:00

I have about 15 things on my mind right now, but I have decided to blog about something most of us can relate to and need to do, saving money. I am going to share a handful of my grocery-related suggestions. I would love to hear what all of you do and how you feel about my ideas. Here goes!

Double coupons
I shop at Giant Eagle and take advantage of double coupons as much as possible. Thanks to doubled $.50 and $.75 coupons, I have gotten things like toothpaste (Crest or Colgate), toothbrushes, shaving cream, and rice for free. I have paid $.50 for yogurt multi-packs and soup. And I have paid far less for some items than I ever would have had I bought them at the dollar store, a warehouse club, or Aldi's. My strategy is to hold on to the big coupons until the item goes on sale. If it is a product I regularly use and the coupon is about to expire, then I will probably end up using it regardless, because I am still saving money.

I have not had much luck with BOGO coupons. Inevitably, they expire before the product goes on sale, so the savings is not that great. Plus for a lot of products, the free thing is something I would not normally buy (though every once in awhile this has allowed me to try a new product that I ended up liking).

Aldi's
And speaking of Aldi's, if you have one near you, I urge you to check it out. I typically start my shopping there, where I spend far less on produce and meat than I would anywhere else. I also buy snack foods there. Whatever I can't get at Aldi's, I pick up at Giant Eagle or Walmart, because Aldi's does not have everything.

A really good thing about Aldi's is if you are not satisfied with something, they will refund your money and replace the product. Once I bought awful-tasting (like cardboard) flavored pasta, which I returned for a refund. On top of that, because I complained to the manufacturer, that company sent me four replacement boxes of different flavors. I ended up liking most of the other flavors, which I will buy again. Maybe for a future post, I will list the products that I love from Aldi's, and we can compare notes. I'm telling you, most of the Aldi brands are just as good as the expensive ones. (And I buy generic for many purchases nowadays anyway, which is another way to save money)

Keeping track of prices
If I were working full-time, I would not do this because it quite time-consuming, but if you have the time, I recommend it. I have a handful of index cards, organized by food category, that list a product name, size, and what it costs at various places (in my case, Giant Eagle, Aldi, and Walmart, and Target every once in awhile). I do this by going through my grocery receipts and circulars (you can do this in the evening when you are watching mindless TV) and by writing down the info while at the store. If you know what something costs, then you will know whether or not the sale price or the double coupon makes it a good deal. Most yogurt brands, for example, are cheaper at Walmart. But when they go on sale at Giant Eagle and can be used with a coupon, it is better to go with Giant Eagle. Most items at Giant Eagle are more expensive than at Walmart, even when GE has a bogo. Don't be fooled by that; know your prices! Maybe for a future post, I will share some specific prices, to prove my point.

The other thing keeping track of prices made me realize is how much the price of groceries has gone up since I started shopping again two years ago. Back then I could get the big bag of 8 O'Clock coffee for $11 or $12 at Giant Eagle. Now it costs over $17. I drink a lot less coffee now! But seriously, even in the last couple of months, I have had to change the price of some items on my cards several times. Depressing.

Researching prices and taking advantage of matching prices
Walmart will match a competitor's price, but not if that competitor has a special card/program (like GE's advantage card). That rules out probably 95 percent of GE's sale items, but I have saved some money using Target's circular while shopping at Walmart. I think Target also matches prices. Others do as well. Sure, it is a pain to carry around a few circulars, but if you know what you want/need and don't go crazy, then it is not a big deal.

Lists and secondary lists
It is important to have a list; otherwise, you risk buying more than you need (which I do way more than I should). But on the back of my grocery list, I also have a secondary list, which contains products that I will need in a month or so. If an item from that list is on sale and I have a coupon, then I pretty much always buy it, knowing I am saving money in the long run. Also, during the weeks I am going to both GE and Walmart, I write down the circular sale price of items on my list so I can compare prices while at the store. Not all sale prices make it into the circular, which is why I sometimes veer from my list.

That is all I have for now. I am interested in hearing your thoughts. I am always looking for ways to save money.

The post that went through several different titles

2011-06-25T22:17:00.000-04:00

I have been in a weird place lately. Over the past week or two, I have nearly "written" several posts in my head and pretty much finished one while at the park Thursday. The ramblings lent themselves to names such as the following:

"If I actually publish this post, I am pretty sure some friends will be calling me with great concern"
"Where is my happy place"
"I can't cry hard enough"
"Missing person"
"Paralyzed by fear"

As for the first title, well, it is probably obvious that when that post was swirling around my head, I was pretty down. Fortunately, that post never came to fruition.

Later, things looked up and something got me smiling again. But, alas, something else had me singing the blues before too long. It could have been another struggle with Jordan (that happens a lot lately, and I am quite sure a post will eventually come of it). Perhaps Brian and I were arguing about Jordan (yeah, it's a problem) or money (another, probably bigger, problem). Maybe it was my bitterness over my car and feeling cheated. Whatever it was, I could just not stay happy for an entire day or for at least for two days in a row. For that reason, the second or third post title above would have worked. But, again, I could not bring myself to write down everything I was feeling.

After thinking about things for a few days, something occurred to me, which led itself to the fourth and fifth titles above. I realized that a big part of my not-there-as-often-as-it-used-to-be optimism/happiness had to do with the lack of a job. Not just any job, but the job that I lost two years ago.

I am sure at least two of you are thinking that it has been two years, so now, or perhaps last year, would be a good time to get over this. And I completely agree with you. But the problem is that I seem to be stuck in this weird place called "The Past." Many of us stay here way too long for sure. As much as I hate technology, it is clear how much I prefer the past. But as I was crying the other day, I realized that so much of who I was I left behind in that job. Maybe not so much the last position I held at that company, but rather what I did for most of my career there. I was really good at being an editor, proofreading, and project coordinator. I don't say this in a full-of-myself way, just in an honest way. And doing that job well and for so many years at the same place defined me more than I realized.

Now, because I don't have that job; because I am not doing the best job as a parent (not for lack of love or constancy); because I am not bringing in much-needed money as I did for the first 10 years of marriage; because I cannot seem to find a full-time, decent-paying job; because I am so afraid of failing (getting laid off can do that to you); and because I cannot figure out what it is I am really good at or what I should be doing, I have kind of lost myself. I don't know who it is I am supposed to be.

I know I need to get past all of this (and an improved economy would certainly help), and I am pretty sure I will. Because I have to. I really, really have to.

Sexism or a big rip-off?

2011-06-16T20:54:00.000-04:00

Coming on the heels of my last post, I have another customer service issue. Except this appears to be less about customer service and more about my being a woman.

Today, I brought my car into Monro for my 8:30 a.m. brake appointment. When I made the appointment yesterday, I explained that my brakes have been squealing for the past couple of months, and more recently, they have felt spongy. Today, J, the store manager (the same guy I spoke with yesterday) again asked me what was happening with my brakes, and I repeated the information. I also added that when I had my car inspected at my "regular" mechanic's back in December, he said that my brakes should be good for a few more months. [As an aside, at that inspection, I told my mechanic if my brakes were "close to failing," he should replace them because I would rather have new brakes through the winter. My mechanic said my brakes still had some tread and replacing them would be like throwing out half a loaf of bread. Since I hate wasting food, that analogy was good enough for me.]

When I asked how long today's appointment would take, J told me that he would drive the car around, check everything out, and then give me a call before doing anything. Ignoring history, I figured I should receive a phone call within an hour, hour and a half. You know, because 8:30 was my appointment time. Almost three and a half hours later, J called to let me know that it will cost over $400 plus tax to fix my under-warranty brakes plus a few other things.

Once my heart started beating again, I calmly asked J to break down everything for me. He did, I took some notes, and then I added everything up. Oddly, my total came to about $250, which I pointed out. Then J mentioned something else, which brought the total up to over $300. When I said I was still not getting $400, J brought up yet another thing. I told J that I needed to talk to my husband and would call him back.

Brian was pretty sure I was being ripped off because I am a woman, so he suggested I call our usual mechanic. I explained to our guy that I went to Monro because they were going to replace the under-warranty brakes they did two years ago, but Monro's price seemed insane. I gave him J's breakdown, and my mechanic came back with a price that was over $100 lower; apparently my mechanic charges less for labor, which includes cleaning and adjusting sliders, and the wheel cylinder pricing includes brake bleeding (FYI, I have no idea what any of this crap means).

I called J back and told him that not only could my mechanic do it for a lot less, but he also said I was being ripped off, which did not sit well with J. In addition, I mentioned my bad experience with Monro two years ago (which I was able to recount thanks to this blog post) and said I had not planned to come back but decided to because I assumed something under warranty would not set me back hundreds of dollars. I also mentioned to J that my mechanic had replaced my front rotors back in December, so I was confused as to why they would need to be replaced again. J said rather than lose a customer, he would match their price. Interesting. As I stated on Facebook this afternoon, over $100 magically fell off the price once I, more or less, called J's bluff.

Brian is convinced that if he had taken my car into a different Monro, he would have been quoted a lower price than what I was originally quoted. It would have been interested to test that theory.

For now, I am left to wonder if I was taken advantage of because I am a (clueless when it comes to cars) woman or if Monro (and other places, probably) will charge the most they can, just to see what they can get out of people.

Sigh.

But at least I fought the good fight.

Grr.

Are thank yous dead?

2011-06-13T22:57:00.000-04:00

I am afraid a rant is coming on. I know, it's hard to believe that I would complain about something. But here I go...

It seems to me that expressing thankfulness has gone by the wayside. Or, at the very least, people showing their appreciation is more the exception rather than the rule.

Apparently, it is too much for the people checking me out at Giant Eagle to say thanks (in all fairness, I don't live near one of those fancy-shmancy Iggles, where perhaps they do say thank you). It is not as if I am looking for "have a nice day." Just a simple, even if insincere, thank you would do. But considering that most of the cashiers don't even bother to speak to me, I am probably asking for the impossible.

And I bet not much more than half of the kids in the cafeteria bothered to say thanks when I handed them a requested napkin or spoon or helped them open something the numerous times I volunteered in the cafeteria this past school year. As many times as I have had to remind Jordan to say thanks to someone, I guess I should not be surprised that so many children fail to do so.

And how about the people that I let pull out in front of me in traffic? I expect every single one of them to give me a thank-you wave or a courtesy beep of the horn. Not half of them. Not most of them. All of them. How hard is it raise your hand in appreciation? I am not looking for a hug!

But my biggest pet peeve is when I (or Jordan) bring a gift to a party that is never acknowledged. I have no problem when gifts are not opened at parties, particularly large events. But if the feted person opens the gifts and cards in private, then she misses out on saying thank you to the gift-giver right on the spot. Considering how apparently challenging it is for people to write and send thank-you notes these days, one would think people would much rather do the in-person thank you while opening the gifts. And to be clear, I don't care how my gift or attendance is acknowledged (in person, on the phone, via a personal note), just so long as it is.

A mother recently told me that her kid had too many thank yous to write because she had such a big party. I kept silent, when I really wanted to tell her that if could not acknowledge those gifts in a reasonable amount of time, then maybe she should not be having such big parties.

What is reasonable? IMO, within a month seems pretty fair. Perhaps two if you had a large party (weddings seem to buy you even more time). Just over 12 years ago, I managed to write thank-you notes for wedding gifts from 150 invited guests within a month, which I realize is pretty darn expedient. But I am still waiting for a thank you note for a party Jordan attended last summer (yeah, I don't really think that one is coming). And Jordan was one of about 15 kids at a party two months ago and no thank you there either. Regardless, I am all for "better late than never," having sent a thank-you note a few years after the fact and being late for other occasions. (See this and that sad blog posts from July 2008. I really have gotten better, which perhaps makes me like those former smokers who constantly berate current smokers.)

Feel free to tell me I am being too nit-picky and that I expect too much of people. But even if saying or sending thanks is no longer the norm, I am still going to try my best to continue down the path of gratitude when I can.

You're welcome!

Mmmm, Potato Patch fries

2011-06-09T15:03:00.000-04:00

Kennywood! Kennywood! Kennywood! Kennywood! Kennywood! Kennywood! Kennywood!

Yesterday, Brian, Jordan, and I went to Kennywood to celebrate Jordan's excellent grades this year. The last time I was at Kennywood was in 2000, when the Aero 360 first opened. I won a contest on the now-defunct B94 and was one of the first few people to try out that new ride. Even though my body started rejecting spinning/turning movements back in the late 1990s, I managed to employ mind over matter for that experience. The last time I had spent an entire day at Kennywood was back in 1994 or 1995, when Brian and I were just dating and had gone with one of my friends from high school and her boyfriend. Back then, I could ride all things that spin, twist, turn, or loop. The good ole days!

We started off our morning on the Phantom's Revenge, which is a super-fast coaster (85 mph) with some twists, but fortunately no loops. In hindsight, it was probably not the best way to begin a day at Kennywood for someone like Jordan since this was her first "real" coaster ride ever. I did not fare much better considering I had not been on a roller coaster since my honeymoon in 1999. Oddly, the worry I felt outweighed any ill feelings; I found myself picturing the coaster coming off the rails and plunging us to our death, a thought that never crossed my mind before I had a kid. Sheesh!

The good news is that I got over that somewhat irrational (but not completely far-fetched; people, particularly kids, have died on amusement park rides) fear rather quickly. We went on to enjoy other rides including the much-needed train ride.

The first picture above is just before the train ride started. The picture directly above is a kind of cool view of the Mon River. Considering the last time I was at Kennywood I was not only childless but also not even married, I am pretty sure we did not waste our time on a train ride. With a kid and just after a twisty coaster, a train ride is just what you need.

Jordan liked the Turtle, and the circular motion was not too bad for me. I took this picture during the ride, so obviously I held my own. I cannot say the same for my experience on the Paratroopers, but what can you do?!

Here I am, immensely enjoying Potato Patch fries with gravy. Mmmmmmmm. I am kind of regretting not getting the cheese to go along with it, but I did follow up those potato pieces of heaven with a funnel cake, so I was trying to show some restraint! :-)

I think we (and by we, I mean Jordan and I) had the most fun on the water rides. We were completely drenched on the Raging Rapids, but it was much appreciated with the almost 90-degree temps and high humidity. Jordan really like the Log Jammer, which was a favorite ride of mine when I was a teen/young adult.

Here she is just before we got on. At that point, we were pretty much dry from the Raging Rapids. We eventually made our way to the Jack Rabbit, which was a much better coaster choice for Jordan. I am disappointed we did not ride the Thunder Bolt, which is a favorite, but Jordan missed the height requirement by just under a half inch. Since you need a partner for that ride, and someone would need to stay with J, the Thunder Bolt was, sadly, out. The Racer was closed when we were near it, so we missed that as well.

We rode a few other rides, including the Auto Race; Ghostwood Estate, a ride where you shoot lasers at spirits; and The Exterminator, an indoor coaster that spun a little too much. We also walked through Noah's Ark, which was less exciting than I remembered it, but still kind of fun.

We ended our day with the Pittsburg ("h" is missing on purpose) Plunge, which is a water ride with only one giant downhill (50' drop) that ends in a wall of water. I am convinced I have been less wet while taking a shower. But with the heat, it was well worth it. In fact, once you get off the ride, most people wait in the area that overlooks the plunge, allowing you to get drenched with about as much water as you did while on the actual ride. Wish I had snapped a pic of that, but too much water.

All in all, it was a good if not very hot day. Jordan said next year she is willing to go back on the Phantom's Revenge, and she will be tall enough for the Thunder Bolt. Here's to next time.

Yeah, Kennywood! I sure missed ya!

Watch out, Jackie Joyner Kersee!

2011-06-06T17:51:00.000-04:00

Last week, on the last day of school, Jordan got into the car with some certificates from awards day. She handed me the one she was "most proud of"--a certificate for athletics. I scanned it as I came to a stop sign, and I at first thought she had won an award for being the most athletic. This immediately caused flashbacks to childhood, during which I was pretty much the slowest and most non-athletic kid in the class. I was in slightly better shape as I entered high school, but mostly still just skinny and completely devoid of grace. And pretty much almost always picked last for gym class. (See an old blog post about that.) Because of these unpleasant memories, I decided right then and there a photo of Jordan's certificate would be going up on Facebook, so all my former classmates could see that my kid was nothing like I was. She had hope!

As I came to a stoplight, I read the certificate more closely and realized that she had actually ran the mile in gym class in just over 9:30, which was almost a minute below the "president's time" (I presume this was for the President's Physical Fitness test, but I am not entirely sure). I asked Jordan who else got a certificate, and she said that she and one other boy were the only two in second grade. Which means my kid is the fastest girl in second grade. Big grin. Proud mama. Excuse me for bragging.

As a (sort of) runner, this accomplishment made me so happy. Which then caused a flashback to a more recent memory. When I first starting running 5ks while at my last job in the early 2Ks, a coworker said to another coworker/fellow runner/good friend that she could not believe that I was running (presumably because I am clearly not graceful and I am certainly not small) and had gotten some trophies to boot. I thought about that comment off and on for years, but eventually forgot about it, particularly when I started running again while pushing 40 (and, let's face it, because my memory is pretty much like a sieve). But when J came home with that certificate, for some odd reason, that memory came back, and it was like validation.

I don't pretend to make a lot of sense. Or to be particularly normal. But sometimes it is nice to be a winner. And it is even cooler as a parent when your kid does something you, a super skinny kid, never did at that age. Yeah, J!

Kate and Peter's Treehouse

2011-06-02T21:40:00.002-04:00

This evening Jordan and I attended the second of three Pittsburgh Parks Conservancy meetings focused on Kate and Peter's treehouse. You may recall I blogged about the first meeting before it happened, and was not even sure we would end up going, thanks to Jordan's reaction to Kate and Peter's death. I am happy to report despite my concern, Jordan seemed to accept what happened, and that meeting went well. Here is the treehouse masterpiece she and a friend's daughter created that evening:

Tonight's meeting was held at Frick Park. On our way to the three areas we were to visit, all the treehouses the kids had created from that last meeting flanked the pathway. I thought it was pretty cool. Jordan is standing near hers. Not nearly as cool is my shadow!

We then went to the site of the future treehouse and wrote down our ideas on cards hanging from/on wires as well as on trees. At first, I kind of struggled with this creative process. I worked at a design firm for years, but I did boring stuff and was quite happy doing so, thank you very much. But after a few minutes both Jordan and I had come up with what I think are good ideas.

Here are some photos of Jordan standing by the cards. [Amy and some members of her family are in the background.]

Jordan's suggestions included a tire swing and a tube slide (both of which she tried to incorporate in her treehouse design during the April meeting). I suggested having various levels to explore and adding some educational nuggets about nature, trees, Pittsburgh, etc. I also said it should be a meaningful tribute to Kate and Peter (though I am not sure how to do that, I am certain Amy has some ideas, and she does have input).

I wish I could remember the other ideas J and I had come up with. Perhaps Ginny, from That's Church, happened to snap some pics of our cards while she was taking a bunch of photos. Yes, I finally got to meet Ginny, who is one of my absolute favorite bloggers. She is pretty much the same as she is in her blog. Really personable and down to earth. When I introduced myself as Facie, she remembered that I was the one who directed her to one of Amy's blog posts about pigeons. She thanked me for making her aware of Amy's story way back when (a year and a half ago; I checked).

Before we left and said our good-byes to Amy, Jordan and I took a 20-minute walk in the woods on this spectacular evening. The only thing that would have made it better would have been my wearing tennis shoes rather than sandals. Regardless, Frick Park truly is a gem in this city. If you live in the area or are planning a visit, I urge you to spend a few hours there. There are so many trails to walk on. And if you have kids, you can always head on over to the Blue Slide Park area.

I am definitely looking forward to the completed treehouse, which will make Frick Park that much better.

Until then...

At the risk of offending my Catholic friends (and some other Christians and proponents of civil liberties)

2011-05-27T10:18:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, I saw a disturbing story on the news. A dead baby was found in suitcase on an Erie street. Apparently, a woman starved her 14-month old, left her to die, stuffed her in suitcase, and then put that suitcase in her neighbor's trash can. You can read the story in the PG. Other than this woman murdering her child, the thing that really gets me riled up is this: In addition to the baby she birthed and killed, this 20-year-old woman also has a two- and a three-year old as well as one on the way. So for the past four years, this woman has gotten pregnant, had a baby, gotten pregnant a few months after giving birth, had a second baby, gotten pregnant a few months after giving birth, had a third baby, and gotten pregnant for the fourth time.

Isn't that lovely?

This woman should be sterilized, plain and simple. If that seems too strong (and I don't think it is), then she should be forced to receive monthly birth control shots or be inserted with that device that prevents pregnancy for something like five years. I assume this woman is on welfare, and as I and others have said before, people on welfare should not be allowed to reproduce if they want to keep receiving their checks. I expressed my strong feelings on this subject in another post almost a year ago. In fact, with all the advances in science, why hasn't anyone come up with a male birth control shot? What goes for women on welfare should go for men. But it probably won't happen in my lifetime.

I know that this goes against my religion. And I am sorry that I am suggesting the government put its nose into someone's private life. But enough is enough. How many children have to die and how much money do the rest of us need to fork out for low-life people before something changes?

Walking away now...

A shiver in my bones just thinking about the weather

2011-05-25T09:30:00.001-04:00

To quote a 10,000 Maniacs song above, lately the weather has been freaking me out. I cannot believe the death and destruction in this country as a result of tornadoes and floods. It is jaw-dropping to see pictures of neighborhoods that have been leveled. And it is so sad to think about the lives lost, many of whom went to bed the night before as they always do, never to awaken again. Wow.

Two nights ago, while lying in bed, I listened to the wind howling. A few times I closed my eyes tight, hoping the roof would not lift off. My heart was pounding, and I was praying that one of the tall trees in our backyard would not come crashing through the roof (or our year-old windows, for that matter). Fortunately, when I walked around the house the next morning, the only thing I noticed was about a dozen tree branches scattered throughout the yard and our ladder that blew off the side of the house (really wish Brian would put that thing away!).

Then last night, after going to bad happy that Hines Ward won the coveted Mirror Ball trophy on "Dancing with the Stars," a storm came through. There were a couple of loud claps of thunder that jarred me, shaking the house, which once again made me worry that something would happen to our house or the people in it. But fortunately, the storm quickly passed, and I managed to fall asleep, thinking about another storm...

Yeah, speaking of storms and things that send a shiver through my bones, I have been compiling results from the school survey I helped carry out. I have over 80 in my possession, which is about a 35 percent response rate. It was more than I thought we would get, but fewer than I hoped. A number of parents are happy, which is great. I have read through what I consider a lot of good ideas and reasonable complaints. The thing, however, that sends the shiver through my bones is what a couple people said on the survey (and one person directly to me).

Some parents think there was a "secret" meeting/group prior to the survey, which is not the case at all. What did happen is, as I sort of mentioned in my last post, people at the tuition meeting had some good ideas and wondered what could be done, so the principal suggested a committee be formed, and she passed around a sign-up sheet at that meeting. So, yes, if you were not at that meeting, then you would not know about it. I have no control over that, and I cannot speak as to why it was not opened up to everyone. But the main thing that came about as a result of the meeting was the survey I had suggested and put together (which ultimately contained much input from the committee, a few teacher friends and the principal). If people are so upset that they did not get to speak up, isn't that what the survey is for? Share your concerns there!

And if people have strong ideas, then talk to the principal. Don't just complain about things; be part of the change! If I had been unable to attend the tuition meeting, I might have felt ever-so-slightly slighted that I did not get to be part of this new committee, but I am confident I would move on, grateful to have the opportunity to speak my mind on a survey (which, again, is pretty much all the committee did). I hope that the people who feel slighted talk to the principal and volunteer to help make some of the changes. Quite frankly, I am not sure what else those people expect or want to do.

Maybe an objective person can help me understand. Please?!

Can you be an idealist and a bit of a pessimist?

2011-05-17T11:29:00.001-04:00

In an hour or so, I will be heading to J's school to make copies of a survey I put together with the help of a small committee. At a tuition meeting two months ago, about 10 or so of us said we wanted the school to see better days. We wanted more for our money. Most of all, we didn't want to just complain; we wanted to help make things better. So about a month ago, I brought up the idea of a survey for the parents to fill out, and I presented a rough draft to the group at a follow-up meeting for the 10 or so parents at the tuition meeting who wanted to make things better. I received some input from some group members, and I am happy to say that most of the group was very complimentary and thanked me for my work on the survey (I put in hours and hours, believe it or not). The idealist in me likes to think good things can come from us. But am I just kidding myself?

Some people hate surveys. They loathe the time spent filling them out. They are afraid their comments will have negative repurcusions. Most of all, they figure nothing will happen as a result.

If only 25 to 40 percent of the parents take the time to fill out the survey, we probably won't have an accurate picture of what is going on and how people really feel. The same is true if people hold back for fear that they or their children will be treated differently. And if people are too negative, it might turn off the administration, who might just assume those people are the chronic complainers who have nothing better to do.

I tried to make the survey as anonymous as possible. For the first part, parents need only circle the ranking that accurately reflects their opinion of each question. However, we are asking parents to include the grade level for each kid. And if only a few parents from certain grades fill out the survey, it could be obvious who those people are. The second part of the survey contains open-ended questions. There is the handwriting recognition factor, I realize, but what can you do. The second part is optional, more for those who really have strong opinions and ideas.

I am very interested to see what people have to say and I hope that we get a 75 percent response rate (there is the idealist again!). But as important, I hope that positive change results. Obviously, you can't "fix" everything. And if only a few people are bothered by something, it is probably not going to be addressed. But wouldn't it be great if the school became aware of some things they had not been previously and those "important" things got better?

One can hope. You know, hope and change, and all!

Things that make me want to scream

2011-05-11T10:43:00.000-04:00

I spent over an hour today trying to resolve an online banking issue. For some reason, when I paid my sewage bill last week, I chose the old bill payee, the one that has not been the payee for over three years (our water company took over for the sewage company, FYI). I won't bore you with the details of the various phone calls and time spent online. And, yes, the error was all mine (why I did not delete the previous/old payee, I don't know). But it does make me wonder how accounting works in companies. When my check was electronically deposited into the old sewage company's account, didn't they check to see why they were getting money from us, when they had not in years? Can anyone explain that?

It does not help that I am tired today. Tired because there was a domestic dispute three houses away last night after 11, when I was sound asleep. Unfortunately, when four or five people are shouting in the streets nearby, as a light sleeper, I will hear them. The upside is that the police arrived within minutes of my 911 phone call. This is important to note because, as I blogged about last year, when I called 911, I was asked so many questions, that by the time the police arrived, the fight I called about was over. This time around, I don't think I was on the phone for more than 60 seconds and just moments later, the police arrived, able to see/talk to at least some of the (insert bad word here).

When something like this happens, it once again saddens me that some people are the way they are. What decent person thinks it is okay to scream ridiculously loudly after 11:30 p.m., particularly during the week? And apparently threatening someone with a gun? Well, that does not leave me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Ugh.

On a less scary note, but annoying all the same, I have an issue with my town's code department. A few weeks ago, I left a message for code because trash was overflowing from a can in an empty lot. I left another message three days later when no one returned my call. A few days after that, someone finally called me and said code would send someone out in a week or two. Today, one and a half weeks later, I stopped in the office, since I was in the area. A woman there said that they would need to contact the property owner to see if that person would empty the can or if he/she wanted to remove the can. I asked if the trash collectors could just pick up the trash, at least from the can, but this woman, very exasperatedly, told me no.

Why the property owner has not been contacted yet, after several weeks, I, again, am left to wonder. And even if the property owner decides to get rid of the can, people will most likely dump trash there anyway, except there won't be a can to house most of it. Way to keep our community neat. At least the woman was pleasant to me. Oh, wait, she wasn't. Sigh.

I hate to be so negative, when there are so many more significant things going on in the world. But this is where I am today, disappointed with people. And I did not even get into the communion card for Jordan our neighbor dropped at church, never to be seen again. Hope someone enjoyed that cash...

Mom

2011-05-06T13:03:00.000-04:00

I wanted to include a nice picture of my mom and me or, even better, one of my mom, Jordan, and me. But, alas, I have almost no recent pics of us, and the few I have are lousy, mostly because I dropped my camera last year (the poor gal has not been the same since). So this post, a short (!) tribute to my mom, will have to go photo-less, which is pretty much how most of my posts end up anyway.

On this Mother's Day weekend, I am thankful and grateful for my mom. She sacrificed a lot for our family over the years, and she was always there for us growing up. She dried our tears, fixed up our boo-boos, and stood up and fought for us when she knew it was the right thing to do. She raised us to care about others, particularly family. She taught us right from wrong and got us to church every weekend. She made sure we always knew she was the parent, not our friend. Most of all, she loved us, no matter what stupid, wrong-headed things we did (and by we, I mean me as a high schooler and my little brother pretty much up from the time he was a toddler until he graduated from college; my older brother was pretty perfect!).

I am glad that I will be able to spend most of the Mother's Day weekend with Mom (and Jordan, the reason, I am celebrated), and I am grateful she is well enough to be back in her house. I hope and pray she stays that way for a good, long while. I wish that others could be as blessed as I am to have the mother I do.

Here's to all the moms out there, both living and unfortunately no longer with us. We salute you!

This, however, did make me cry.

2011-05-03T12:34:00.000-04:00

So Osama bin Laden (or Usama, if you are Fox News) was apparently taken out by the Navy Seals. I was quite surprised to wake up to that news when I turned on the TV yesterday morning.

After I let it sink in for a minute and listened to the news people talk, my eyes welled up with tears. But the thing is I was not sure why I was crying. When I think of the thousands of tears I cried on 9/11 and off and on (mostly on) for weeks after, the few tears that rolled down my cheek seemed to pale in comparison.

I am pro life. In pretty much every imaginable way. I know plenty of people who are pro-life when it comes to abortion, but they support capital punishment. I don't fault people for that view. In fact, it seems less contradictory than the views of people who support women's right to choose yet are against capital punishment. But this post is not to argue or even quibble about that. And if you know me at all, then you should realize I really, truly try to respect and even understand the opinions of others.

No, as I said on Facebook yesterday, the "victory" (which I put in quotes on FB as well) feels hollow. That is the thing about capital punishment (and I am not sure if the killing of Osama was technically considered capital punishment)--it can never bring back the person or people whom the murderer killed. The only "good" thing is that it's a 100 percent deterrent to committing another heinous act.

If Osama acted alone and had no followers, I imagine I would feel better. I could say that the country and the world are truly safer places. But the thing is he did not act alone. There are too many, to put it simply, bad people in this world. Too many people who hate the U.S. People who think nothing of giving up their lives if it means they kill others whom they disagree with, find fault with, etc., in the process. Just because Osama is dead does not mean the world is all sunshine and lollipops now. In fact, I am trying not to think about the retaliation that may be upon us. Excuse me while I rock myself back and forth or go bury my head in the sand.

I guess I don't know what to think or how to feel. But I will leave you with this quote that several friends posted on Facebook yesterday. Make no mistake: I am quite certain Osama was evil and guilty of unspeakable crimes, including 9/11 (I am talking to you, Rashard!). And I guess someone has to judge him and put a stop to him. But I just can't get down with celebrating the death of another.

I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. "Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." Martin Luther King Jr.

[Note that the first sentence above was apparently the posting of Jessica Dovey, a 24-year old Penn State graduate(!). The sentences that follow, in quotes, are attributed to MLK Jr. I think both sum up my feelings nicely.]

And I did not even cry!

2011-05-01T19:01:00.000-04:00

As has been documented here and elsewhere many times, I am a crier. But, oddly enough, not always for logical reasons. I did not cry at my own wedding or at the birth of my child, yet I have cried at countless other weddings and births, most of which I witnessed on TV, involving people I don't even know!

Speaking of my child and NOT crying, today my baby made her first communion. This is a big deal in a Catholic's life, though most kids cannot fully grasp what is going on. What pretty much every kid does understand is that they will be getting dressed up, quite a few people will be coming to watch them, they most likely will be having a party or going out to eat afterward, and the odds are great that they will be ending the day with some loot.

We had a pretty small gathering at our pretty small house. Unfortunately, the weather dudes were wrong about the weather. I know, hard to believe. Last night, one of the weather guys said there may be a shower or two, and it would most likely come in the late afternoon. Instead, it drizzled most of the morning and early afternoon, and the sun finally came out around dinnertime.

Regardless, I think the mass was very nice. I was glad we lucked out and ended up in the second row. My baby looked beautiful. And I think our party was very nice.

All in all it was a great day. And I did not even cry. However, when I think about the next time my baby will be in a beautiful white dress and veil, now that makes me want to cry!

And the power play goes pfft.

2011-04-28T11:56:00.001-04:00

Well, another Penguins season has come to a close. What can I say? A few things, actually.

Considering the injuries to players, most notably Sidney Crosby, who is arguably the best hockey player in the word, you have to tip your hat to the Pens for making it to Game 7 of the first round. When you are without Crosby and Malkin, the fact that you can win more games than lose (until this series, anyway) really shows that the others stepped up.

Kudos and rah-rahs aside, when your team has a 3 to 1 series edge, it is almost inexcusable to go out and lose the next three games and ultimately the series. That is a tough pill to swallow. They needed to win only one of their last three. How could they not do it?! Last night, the Bolts scored only one goal, and the Pens could never get on the board. The Pens definitely played hard; they played their hearts out, which made it all the more frustrating. But if you can't score a single goal in a Game 7, well, you just don't deserve to win.

Equally as frustrating was the Pens' power play. They were something like 1 of 35 (if the online P-G had a useful search function, I could tell you the actual stat). That is beyond awful. Again, you don't really deserve to win a series with a statistic like that.

My final frustration lies with the officials/higher ups. I love hockey; I find it more exciting than football, which I love equally. But the inconsistency with which punishment and penalties are carried out makes the sport almost a joke. I don't pretend to be super knowledgeable about all in the ins and outs of hockey, but I have watched enough plays and replays to see that two players can run into other players in almost the same matter, but one player will be out of 20 games whereas a second player may be suspended for only one game or maybe none. And it does not always have to do with repeat offenders either.

All that said, I still love the Pens. Sure, I am disappointed the season ended in April, much earlier than it has in the past few years, but you have to give those guys credit for never giving up (a few awful games notwithstanding). They fought the good fight, and they will be back next season, hopefully better than ever with a healthy Crosby and Malkin. If nothing else, we don't have to worry about Crosby being hit in the head during a playoff game. I am one of many who was concerned about his coming back this season. Well, problem solved, although I wish it had not come to that.

In the meantime, can we please end the NFL lockout (or keep it "unlocked" as I think it is today)? If I have to wait until the end of October before I get to watch a meaningful sport I enjoy, I may go crazy.

A huge, grave miscalculation on my part

2011-04-26T16:37:00.001-04:00

Those of you who know Amy of Callapitter probably are aware of the hands-on design meeting for Kate and Peter's Treehouse this Thursday. If not or if you are interested in learning about the meeting and the project, check out the link here.

For this particular meeting, the planners are interested in the input of children since they will be the ones using this park. And because Frick Park, where this space will be located, is one of Jordan's favorite parks, I thought it might be a good idea for the two of us to attend. Plus I just want to support Amy, for all that she has been through.

Jordan did not know Kate and Peter; they were in different classes while in Beulah. For that reason and because, as I have mentioned in several posts, Jordan has struggled with death in the past, I never bothered to tell her about them. Until now. I figured if I was going to take her to this meeting, I should probably give her a heads up. Otherwise, she would be asking questions there and might become upset. So when we were at the park today, I told her that the new park was for these two kids. Jordan asked what happened to them, and I told her. She did not take it well, particularly when I told her Kate and Pete were 7 and 5 respectively when they died. Then I very stupidly told her how they died (their dad fell asleep at the wheel).

What the hell was I thinking?! What purpose did that serve? I am an idiot. After Jordan became both angry at the dad and so sad for the "innocent kids," I literally begged God to erase the entire conversation from her brain. But much like God will not be bringing Amy's kids back to her, as much as she wants, he is not going to clear Jordan's head of those thoughts.

Jordan decided that she never wanted to talk to me again. She had worse things to say about the dad. She ran away from me at the park and cried most of the way home (well, when she was not yelling at me). My heart was breaking for her.

I know that death is a part of life, but I seriously miscalculated her ability to handle this information. Honestly, hardly a day goes by that I don't think about Peter and Kate and Amy. I have cried for them so many times. If I don't understand it, why did I think Jordan would be okay? I cannot explain why God would do this because I don't know why (and I am not blaming God, mind you, but if I were Amy, I know I would be).

Right now Jordan is playing with her Grammy. But I know when it is time for bed tonight (or maybe even when Grammy leaves in a few minutes), it is probably not going to go well. And I bet this won't be the only night, either. When I tell Brian about this, I am certain he will be less than pleased with me, and I don't blame him.

Sigh.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-23T20:33:00.000-04:00

Wishing all of you a blessed Easter!

I normally sing at my church's vigil mass, which is starting in a few minutes. For the unaware, the Catholic Easter vigil mass can be two, two and a half hours, which is certainly long, yet I never mind it. I find the service to be beautiful, particularly when I see people becoming Catholics. I can't imagine becoming a Catholic as an adult, what with some of the archaic rules and strictness, yet these people willingly want to do so. I also like the fire at the beginning of mass (who doesn't like a fire, when it is not a structure burning?!). And as a choir member, I enjoy all the singing. Best of all, unlike Christmas Eve's midnight mass, this one is over by midnight!

Anyway, I am here at my mom's, with my brothers and their families, and as much as I am disappointed to miss the vigil, I am happy and feel blessed to be with these people I love and glad that my mom is back in her own home and hopeful that she can stay that way for at least awhile. So excuse me while I go spend some more time with them! :-)

Alleluia!

Thinking of things

2011-04-21T10:40:00.001-04:00

April is a tough month. Not so much because the weather is often crazy around here (near 80 degrees one day and freezing temps another). But rather a lot of sad/tragic things have happened over the years, particularly two years ago.

Amy's (of Callapitter) two precious children were taken from her two years ago. Although the anniversary was two weeks ago, I reminded of it now because it happened during Holy Week. Plus today is her Peter's birthday.

Just a few days before that tragedy, three Pittsburgh police officers were gunned down.

And it was on Good Friday that a priest at my church accidentally ran over some parishioners, killing one and injuring several others. The anniversary for that too was two weeks ago, but since Good Friday is tomorrow, I cannot help being reminded of it.

On some less personal notes, the anniversary of the Columbine school shootings is coming up. Or apparently just passed. I remember that well because it happened on our honeymoon 12 years ago.

And Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated in early April 1968.

I am sure there are other things I have forgotten about and countless things I just don't know of, but sure seems like a lot, don't you think?

Today and really throughout this month, I am thinking of everyone who has been personally affected by the above (which includes me) and wishing them peace this week. As much peace is possible, all things considered. And hope, which is so important to have.

Easter blessings to all of you.

Still married after all these years

2011-04-18T11:18:00.001-04:00

My friend Holly informed me that the according to Wikipedia, "The median length for a marriage in the US today is 11 years." Brian and I hit the 12-year mark yesterday, which I joked on Facebook probably means donuts. I love donuts! In fact, I had one yesterday because it was "Donut Sunday" at church.

Hopefully, our house of illness will soon recover and Brian and I can go out for at least a lunch or something to celebrate. But until then, I will just be glad we made it this far, something, unfortunately, not a lot of people can say. And I will keep joking (though I am sort of serious) that it feels like only 25 years! :-)

Following are a few photos from that chilly day 12 years ago. We got married at St. Bernard's Church in Indiana, PA. And we had our reception at the country club in that same town. I have not seen our ring bearer (the cute kid in our cake picture) for almost eight and a half years. In my mind, he still looks like a little kid, younger than my daughter. Time marches on.

One is the loneliest number

2011-04-15T12:20:00.000-04:00

On more than one occasion, I have blogged about my having only one kid and the grief that has caused me. Grief is really a strong word, but I don't know which word is the right word. Having one kid was a mostly intentional choice. Years ago we had decided that once we sold our house and moved into our larger one, we would try to have another kid. But we put our house on the market a year later than we anticipated, and by that time, I had gotten over the desire for another kid. Good thing, because we are still here in this same smallish house, in this crappy, crappy school district!

Most days I am glad that I am able to devote myself to my one child; she does not have to share my affection with anyone else. But, as I have mentioned countless times here and to others, it can be difficult being your child's playmate. I can take only so many Barbies, babies, and princess play times. I can never say, "Go play with your sister." But I love reading to my kid and enjoy most games with her (except when she is a sore loser, which is becoming a bad habit). I like taking J to the park and especially swimming with her, though I am not the biggest fan of playing tag at the former or mermaids at the latter. And it is nice just to hang out or run errands together.

But this week, I felt awful in many ways. The illness that kicked my butt pretty much left me unable to spend any time with my kid. Instead of running around the park or swimming at the pool, the poor kid was stuck at home. Yesterday, I finally felt well enough to take Jordan to the park, but I could not do much of anything but sit there. And of course, she wanted me to be her "customer" for her "bakeshop" which involved my getting up and pretending to order stuff, when I really just wanted to sit there and do nothing.

Fortunately, some kids from school showed up after almost an hour, but prior to that, I once again felt guilty for not giving Jordan a sibling, someone to play with, someone to hang out with. Someone who could have helped to occupy her time this week when I was stuck in bed or just feeling to lousy to do anything for or with her.

I have friends who also have only one kid, and they seem perfectly content with their choice. Why can't I be? Why must I worry that down the road I will one day regret this decision?

Down for the count

2011-04-12T11:08:00.001-04:00

I am fairly certain this is the third time this year I have been ill. Prior to this year (or maybe last year), I got sick once a year, more likely once every few years, and it was usually over in a day or two. I have no idea what is going on with me. This particularly illness has really thrown me for a loop. I went to bed at 8 p.m. on Sunday after having felt tired and achy all day long, and I slept horribly. After about 10 second in the shower the next morning, I felt as if I were going to pass out, which was promptly followed by a wave of nausea. I practically crawled out of the shower and did not even bother to dry off; I was that ill. I asked Brian to take Jordan to school (and to get her ready, breakfast, etc.), and I made my way back to bed, where my 101-plus degree body stayed for most of the rest of the day.

As I heard Brian and Jordan getting ready that morning, I thanked God that I was not a single parent. How could I have gotten my kid to school when I was too dizzy to stand? My whole body ached, and I could not stop coughing. Fortunately, I feel a little better today. It helped that I went to bed at 8:30 last night (maybe I will actually make it to 9 tonight) and slept most of the night until 6:30 a.m., just before my alarm went off. My body is not nearly as achy, but my chest is pretty sore from all that coughing. Once I finish this blog post, I intend to rest a bit.

But back to the whole being sick when you have a family thing: it is really tough. I went to the grocery store today, despite feeling feverish and exhausted because, sadly, I am just not that good at shopping and I have to go every single week (and sometimes more often). Monday is my usual day, but obviously that was not happening. The hampers in the house are overflowing, so I had to throw in at least one load of laundry, and the dishwasher is not going to unload itself. I am grateful that I have a husband who does 95 percent of the cooking. Otherwise, last night Jordan and Brian would have been eating some frozen dinner. And thank God Brian works from home so he was able to drop off and pick up Jordan from school.

When I was lying in bed for hours yesterday, I thought about what would have happened had I gotten that one job with the company that went on a hiring freeze. I would have had to have missed yesterday, which would have meant not getting paid. And not sure about today. I mean who wants to be around someone who is constantly coughing and somewhat feverish (at least I assume I was while sweating at the grocery store, though to be fair, that could have been from the rising food prices and knowing there was no way I was going to make a trip to cheaper Aldi's as well). I remember when I had bronchitis back in 2004 or 2005. I know my coworkers were annoyed that I kept coming in to work, but I could not stand the thought of taking almost my entire PTO allotment in the first month of the year just because I was coughing. What if I needed time off for my sick kid? Or what if I got sick again? What about when my kid's daycare was closed? And what if I just wanted to take time off for myself?!

Although we are struggling financially, and we will be in big trouble if one of us gets sick enough to require hospitalization or multiple doctor visits, if we have some major house repair, or if some other unexpected expense comes up, I can at least be grateful I have options for now. I don't have to go into work when I am sick because, well, I don't have a work place to go to. And at least I can be here for my kid when she needs me. When I am healthy, anyway. (Note to kid: As soon as I feel a little bit better, I promise we will go to the park or swimming.)

Sigh.

Now off to bed while I can.

How is your school doing (Or What is the point of standardized testing)?

2011-04-05T12:40:00.000-04:00

The PA Department of Education has a page entitled "How is my school doing?" If you are interested in how your school district (or others) is doing, I encourage you to check out this link. The information goes beyond the typical standardized test results; things such as drop-out rates, attendance, and teacher qualifications are also included.

I gave the reports a quick glance and was dismayed, though not surprised, to see how poorly my district is performing. To be fair, I just don't know a lot about No Child Left Behind and Adequate Yearly Progress (AYP); my opinions are based on what little I have read and the opinions of others. But even so, one thing I have questioned and struggled with is the dreaded standardized test, which, of course, is how the academics are rated/ranked.

In fact, this week Jordan and her schoolmates are taking the Terra Nova tests (I think most or probably all the state public schools take the PSAAs instead). I could read up on the differences between the two, but, really, what is the point? I will say this, however. I came across a site called Teacher Complaints, which pretty much is for what you would assume. One complaint said that schools are sending kids home with books on how to pass the PSAAs; the author suggests that if the school's curriculum was standard and the teachers were able to teach it, there should not be a need for a study guide for the test. I can understand that point, but I also have to consider that most complainers on this site probably have an ax to grind and are just a wee bit biased and subjective. But anyway.

I don't know how learning can be adequately measured for everyone. Just because you can fill in some ovals and, in some cases, guess correctly, does not mean you have learned what you should have. Conversely, you might have learned pretty much everything the teacher has taught but struggle with tests such as these. Or maybe you learn and understand the lessons when they are taught but have trouble retaining the information. Sure that is a bit of a problem in and of itself, but forgetting what you have learned and not having learned it to begin with are not the same thing. And what if whatever is on these tests is not really what the kid should be learning?

So what is the answer? I am certain throwing more money at the problem does not always work. My school taxes have gone up over 20 percent in the nine years I have lived here, yet my school district's rankings have dropped (I have kept track of rankings only since 2005). That said, money should solve some problems. More money means you could hire more teachers, which results in smaller class sizes, which often translates to more learning (or at least more kids learning). And if you had more money, you could upgrade technology, books, etc. History is literally being made every day. How can we be sure the kids learn about more recent things as well as the events from the past few thousands years and prior? Time and money hinder that. When I subbed one day last year, I taught a lesson on the worst oil spill in the US, the Valdez spill in Alaska. The problem was just a few weeks prior to my subbing, that spill was eclipsed by the Gulf spill. It hurts my head to even think about rapidly changing technology. Is Pluto a planet? Can humans do much if anything to prevent climate change? Did Al Gore discover the Internet?

Once again, it appears I have just rambled on, solving nothing. But let's face it: the highly educated, super-smart people who are paid to solve these problems have not done such a great job, so I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Still, I will press on and try to figure out what I can. In the meantime, know this: Teaching is difficult. I think every person should have to spend a day or even several days in a classroom, to see firsthand what goes on. That might be a good place to start.

Do we really need more junk?

2011-04-01T11:17:00.002-04:00

I am quite certain that on several occasions I have already said words similar to what I am going to write, but here I go again.

Most of us have too much stuff/junk. Kids especially. Do you remember when Valentine's Day at school meant filling out a box of cards for your classmates and getting cards in return? Now, parents feel obligated to send in candy with those cards. And a simple lollipop or bite-size candy bar is no longer enough; now most parents send in treat bags that consist of several pieces of candy, perhaps one of those annoying foil-wrapped pencils that are nearly impossible to sharpen, tiny erasers that are too small to be useful, and some stickers or fake tattoos. Halloween works much the same way. And some parents even send in small gifts for the class for the Christmas party. Don't even get me started on birthday parties, which now involve take-homes for each party guest as well.

You might be wondering why I am bringing this up now. I will tell you, but only if one of you can promise to talk me down from the ledge/soap box. One of the moms at school thought we should have a "fun" day for the kids two weeks before they make their first communion (a big deal in a Catholic's life; however, most seven- and eight-year olds have little understanding what it is all about). Personally, I don't think the kids need this pizza-and-craft party; they have several parties throughout the year, and they are having a day-long event the day before their first communion anyway (which will mostly be "work" but no doubt some religious crafts and fun foods will be on the docket). However, as a homeroom assistant, not one to rock the boat (and just someone who realizes she might be a little too uptight!), I agreed to help. Now I find out we are not allowed to give the kids pizza that day because it is holy week. No idea why you cannot have pizza during holy week (it is not taking place on Good Friday, when Catholics of a certain age should abstain from meat and fast), but if that is what the principal says...

So the new plan was to go forward with a pizza-less fun day that still includes a craft and some treat bags (yeehaw, more worthless junk the kids don't need!) and then have a small pizza celebration the week after communion. I, being all about my kid getting as much education for my money as possible, emailed the homeroom mother and recommended we move the fun day to the pizza day (that is, combine the two), suggesting it might be harder to get parents involved with two days. I wanted to suggest we just skip the pizza event altogether, but I know another mom volunteered to make the pizzas, so I let that one go. Fortunately, I just got an email back informing me that we are probably going to forgo the pizza day. Victory!

However, the issue that bugs me as much, but for a different reason, is the treat bag. The homeroom mother asked for willing parents to buy small treats/trinkets for the kids, but since I am so against the idea, I cannot be one of those parents. Believe it or not, it is not (really) about the money; I am certain I can pick something up for everyone for under $5. It is just that the kids don't need more junk! And I don't even know what the craft is going to be. Already someone volunteered to buy pencils, no doubt those frustrating foil-wrapped ones, and I just can't help but think it will go in the garbage (I am sorry, but we have too many already!). Another parents is picking up some silly bands, so I guess Jordan can add those to her collection, which is pretty much gathering dust since they are not allowed to wear them at school. No doubt teeth-rotting candy will be included in those bags as well. I have to wonder how many kids make use of these things and how much of it goes in a landfill. Can't the money be better spent (or not spent at all)?

Am I the no-fun mom? Is it perfectly fine for the kids to have a couple of fun hours over a couple of days and come home with some stuff? Or can you agree with or understand anything I am saying? Let me have it. I can take it!

This might be the most idiotic article I have ever read (or Yes, I am pretty sad when it come to technology)

2011-03-29T16:38:00.001-04:00

It is pretty rare for me to write a post not even 24 hours after I posted my last one. But I read a supremely annoying article on Yahoo today (from the New York Times), and I had to comment on it. Here is the link, if you want to read it for yourself. In the meantime, let me summarize: You can apparently do almost everything you would ever want to do (and things you probably did not even know were possible) with a smart phone. Therefore, you don't need a point-and-shoot digital camera, a camcorder, a GPS system, or a digital music player. And apparently the desktop computer and thumb drive have gone the way of the dinosaurs.

Excuse me while I go throw out all of those things and go directly to nearest Apple store so I can buy a super-smart phone. I also need to burn my desktop computer, but how about if I finish this post first, okay?

We have a quite-old desktop computer. This may be a bad example, because the computer is now at the point where it turns itself off several times a day. Good times. But it is what you would expect from a seven- or eight-year old model, which has served us well over the years. I actually prefer it to the laptop that Brian's grandmother gave us, and not just because there is something wrong with the laptop battery which pretty much makes it a desktop computer. I don't need to take a laptop with me everywhere; I just don't find it necessary to be that "connected." In fact, Brian is trying to get me a replacement part(s) for my dinosaur computer because it will be much cheaper than our buying a laptop. Sorry, Times article writer, but I have to go with cost on this one. I also use a thumb drive (I guess that is the same thing as what I call a memory stick?) to copy/store various files "just in case." And I burn files and pictures to a CD once or twice a year, which probably is something the old folks did years ago, I am guessing.

We have a GPS unit from two or three years ago. Brian uses it when he travels for work, which is not often, and it mostly gets the job done (sure, it could use some updating). He would have to pay extra for a GPS app, not worth the $20 or so a month when the GPS is paid for. Me? I like looking up where I am going on Google and printing it out or writing it down. I also had AAA do a triptik for me when I drove to NC last year. Yes, I am clearly almost 40 (and should probably be 60).

My several-years-old digital camera is also not the greatest, but it takes far better pics than my "stupid" (i.e., not smart) phone. If I am out and without my camera, the cell phone is an okay replacement, but I would never use it to take "important" pictures (Christmas card, kid's concert, etc.). But perhaps these oh-so-spectacular smart phones take amazing pictures.

Because my digital camera also has video recording, I don't need a camcorder (I think ours is from when we got married; we never use it), so I can probably agree with the writer on that one. Unfortunately, my cell phone does not have video; if I had realized it when I upgraded last summer (for free, thanks to Verizon's "New Every Two" plan), I would have gone with another, less stupid phone with video. Oh, well.

It makes perfect sense that the Times writer said that the mp3 player is something you can probably lose since mine is only just over a year old and is not the super-cool i-whatever that the hip crowd uses anyway. Regardless, even though I like to listen to music, I don't download songs onto my cell phone or mp3 player; it is not worth the money for me (do you see a theme here?), and the memory on my phone is so limited. But I can't imagine people who are really into music could fit their entire library on their smart phone anyway. And even though I don't often use my mp3 player, it did come in handy while at the park with Jordan a few weeks ago so I could listen to the Pens game. I have also used it to hear the radio people during TV sporting events (because some national commentators are so anti-Pittsburgh). I would not have wanted to drain my cell phone battery instead. (If I had not almost been run over while running with an mp3 player, I would use my mp3 player for that.)

All those things aside, I think the article misses an important point: Relying on one small and expensive piece of equipment for so many things is pretty risky. I won't lose my desktop computer. I have yet to misplace my digital camera (surprisingly the same is true of my MP3 player and thumb drive), yet to his point, I do have more things to keep track of. But I know so many people who have lost or dropped their cell phones. My one sister-in-law has gone through numerous phones because they get wet, a kid chews on it, etc. Brian has an i-phone, through work. He has to charge it a lot, since he takes all his calls on it. Sure, he has downloaded some cool apps, but I think I am doing just fine without all those bells and whistles.

Yes, I am a bit of a technophobe. But do we really need all that stuff, particularly when the stuff we already have works fine (or good enough, anyway)? When my cell phone contract is up next spring, I may give in and get a smart phone; after all, I will probably be one of only 12 people in the entire country who does not have one by then (I know my buddy Mel will be right with me!). But cost will be an issue. Until then, I am hopeful I will survive without a smart phone and a working laptop. Wish me luck!

There is no way this post is getting a picture!

2011-03-28T21:51:00.000-04:00

Wonder how many people will be enticed by that title?! As an aside, for some reason, my blog got 120 hits in a 24-hour period. No idea why. Since I discovered the stats tool thingy, I have averaged close to 500 hits a month; some days I get only a few hits, and other days this blog sees several dozen visitors. But 120 in one day? That is weird.

Anyway, I had to share this recent shopping experience. First of all, I am not a fan of shopping. I am what several of my guy friends call a guy's girl; I would much rather watch a sporting event (football and hockey, mostly) than do anything girly. And when it comes to shopping (which, to review, I hate), Kohl's and Target are my two favorite stores because I am very anti-mall (all those stores just overwhelm me) and I can get almost everything I need at those two places anyway. So when I realized I had to buy a new bathing suit (thanks to the super-chlorinated, bathing-suit eating pool where Jordan and I swim), I knew a trip to Kohl's, a place where I also happened to have a credit, was in order.

To my surprise, Brian suggested the three of us go to Kohl's after our trip to Home Depot. He reasoned (and I agreed) that it made little sense for him to drive alone to Home Depot only for me and Jordan to drive to Kohl's later when the stores are only a mile or two apart, what with gas costing something like a $435 per gallon (or so it seems).

So once we get there, I head to the swim suit section (do people say swim suit or bathing suit? I guess I can't make up my mind) and proceed to pick up a bunch of tops and bottom, in two sizes.

Brian, who was a section over with Jordan, took one look at the 12 or so pieces in my hand and said, "Wait. I thought you were shopping for a bathing suit, not putting on a fashion show."
I reply with, "Uh, you can't just grab one and be done."
To which Brian counters, "Why not? That's what I would do."

A woman somewhere near my age happened to hear this conversation, smiled at me, and said, "If only it were that easy." I smiled back and wondered what planet my husband was from. I mean seriously. How can any guy who has been in a relationship for even a year not realize that of any article of clothing, a bathing/swimming suit is not something you look at and just buy? Am I wrong?!

In any event, I tried on those babies pretty quickly. They were bathing suits, so of course, nothing looked great. When you have a butt the size of a small country, yet a fairly flat/small waist (at least in comparison to the booty), finding a bottom that fits is nearly impossible. And apparently the few pounds I have dropped since last summer were not enough to knock me down a size, but rather just make the waist a little looser in my usual size. But considering my current suit bottom was just about to the see-through, completely stretched-out/Lycra-less point, I was in no position to hold out for the perfect-fitting suit. And, as has been clearly established, going to another store (or, gasp, the mall) was not going to happen.

So, I went with the best combination I could find, happy to have a skirt (I am all about covering up the top of my thighs, which happen to be the least favorite part of my body), even if it was a little bit big in the waist, as well as a better fitting, conservative top, which will allow me to swim fast(ish). It may not be the perfect suit, but, really, does the perfect suit (that does not cost big bucks) even exist?

Here's hoping this one lasts awhile. But no matter when I have to put it out to pasture, you can bet I won't be taking the hubby on my next bathing suit shopping trip!

Mother Nature is clearly angry about something

2011-03-24T11:58:00.001-04:00

Holy hail, Batman! Although my neighborhood did not see hail the size of golf balls, as some people apparently witnessed, those pieces of hail in my yard were nothing to sneeze at.

Actually, I missed the first wave of the storm. Jordan and I had been swimming at the pool for almost an hour after school when the sky grew dark. I thought I saw some lightening through the glass ceiling/sliding doors, but I decided that a few minutes in the hot tub would probably not kill me. After a few more flashes of light, I reasoned it was best to get out. I was not so smart, however, that I did not then proceed to take a shower; I had to get all that chlorine off us! As were finishing up, I could really hear (what I thought was) the rain. But by the time we dried off, got dressed, and gathered our things, the rain had pretty much stopped, and we walked outside to just a few sprinkles and a partly sunny sky, oblivious to what had happened.

On the way home, I saw what looked like snow, however, on the ground. Then I heard an in-progress emergency bulletin on the radio, warning of damaging rain in Westmoreland County. I tuned to another station after that, and heard the tail end of a warning that suggested seeking shelter and lying flat outside if no shelter was available. Kind of scary, but I assumed it did not apply to us.

When we got home, I saw the hail in our yard, which I promptly scooped up, placed into a freezer bag, and stored in the freezer (no idea why). I figured the worst of it was over, and for awhile, things were actually sunny. But within 30 minutes, the second wave hit, complete with hail, thunder and lighting, and some gusty winds. I willed our roof, which has been living on borrowed time for a couple of years, to hold up, and Jordan grabbed the flashlight, just in case. Fortunately, the storm passed quickly, we never lost our power (which has happened about 20 times in the last two years), and our cars were unscathed.

Unfortunately, others in the next county were not so lucky. You just don't think a tornado is going to hit your house/neighborhood/etc. in western PA. I remember when we had a micro (or was it macro) burst in the last century. But this baby packed a big punch. As far as I know, there were no injuries, so thank God for that. But I can hear my one uncle saying, just as he did when AIDS was becoming prevalent and was pretty much a death sentence, that God is not happy about what we are doing.

Be careful out there.

I swear I am not doing this to cause controversy (plus Random ramblings)

2011-03-18T13:16:00.001-04:00

I sent Jordan to school today (Friday) with turkey pepperoni. A smarter, less controversial parent would not have done so, but my kid wanted the pepperoni, and she is not doing anything wrong! And now that the kids know the Lenten guidelines, they really should leave her alone. Will they? Well, I guess we will find out.

To follow up from earlier this week, the girls at Jordan's table (including Jordan) did meet with the principal on Monday, although no one admitted to taking the sandwich or seeing anything. Regardless, I consider the issue closed, and I hope whoever took it will learn something from this. One of the moms did email me asking what went on, as her kid was apparently upset by the principal confrontation. I emailed her back what I knew, saying that most parents would be concerned if their kid's lunch was taken. I also said it was good for the kids to hear the correct guidelines (of course, Jordan brought in the guidelines and shared them with the kids at lunch prior to that!) as well as the message that it is wrong to take another's food no matter what. As I said to her, it is a shame that more kids/everyone could not hear that message, but that is not up to me.

Now on to some random ramblings:

Speaking of Lent, I gave up two things this year: sweets and stupid fights with Brian. I am doing quite well without the sweets (it helps that Sunday is a day off), but, not surprisingly, I have had trouble letting the little things go with Brian. I could not even make it through dinner on Ash Wednesday without our having some slightly heated conversation. Sigh. But I blame part of that on my next point (and I also swear we do not do this all the time).
I finished a two-week proofreading project today. Well, at least I think it is done. I thought the same thing last Friday, but then the client asked if I would proofread additional things this week. I am happy for the work, though it totally kicked my butt. The last time I worked more than 40 hours in a week was probably before I had Jordan (once I had her, I went to 32 hours, but sometimes did work a 40-hour week). And working 12 days in a row, with some 10- and 11-hour days, really made my head swim and my eyes crossed. It will be nice to have a break. And after the controversy at school, I am guessing I won't be subbing again for awhile...
Speaking of working and money, my attitude about tax refunds has changed. I used to like getting only a few hundred dollars back; that meant fun money and the government would not be earning interest on my money. But thanks to a kid and a house (plus various other things throughout the years), we now get a much larger refund. And because I earn so little interest now, I am happy to have that money at once, rather than get more each month/week. Last year, we were able to buy windows with that money. This year that money will help float us until I get paid for my project. My opinion is that as long as you have enough money to pay your bills every month, then getting a nice chunk from the IRS is not a big deal. But for those who struggle to make ends meet and/or put things on interest-bearing credit cards, it makes no sense to get that lump sum; they need that money in their paychecks (and that will be us in another two months, thanks to Uncle Sam's cutting the UC cord).
And speaking even more of money, can someone smarter or at least more knowledgeable than I explain to me why our governor, lieutenant governor, and members of "America's largest full-time state legislature" do not take a pay freeze (pay cut would be even better)? I don't want to hear that it would just be a drop in the bucket. So what? If you are in debt, doesn't it make sense to trim whatever you can? And I think it is a bunch of crap when those people say they will give their increase to charity. Because they are really giving our money to charity. And how about getting rid of the per diems, cars, etc.? People, the economy is bad. We all have to sacrifice.
And I don't even know what to say about what is going on in Japan. Other than I will just end this post counting my many blessings.

Running out of cheeks to turn (Or Stop being mean to my kid!)

2011-03-12T20:52:00.002-05:00

If you thought my last blog post went on, I am thinking this one is going to be worse. Ladies and gentlemen, Mama Bear is mad. As my alternate post title says, "Stop being mean to my kid!"

I subbed for Jordan's class a few weeks ago, and it went rather well. However, she later told me that during the day one boy had told her to shut up, apparently because she told him to be quiet when he was talking when they were not supposed to be. Later, this boy apparently referred to Jordan as "Jordan the jerk."

I never saw this happen, which bothered me (which once again shows how difficult it is for teachers to keep track of every student while trying to teach). Regardless, I told Jordan that some kids are simply not kind, kids are going to say mean things, probably much worse, throughout her childhood, etc. But when Jordan told me this is not the first time this boy has been mean to her, and I could see this was bothering her, I thought maybe I should not let this go, particularly when I know that he is the second boy who has been unkind to her more than once.

Then I come to find out that early last week, two of Jordan's friends "banned" her from a recess chasing game because Jordan apparently gets too "crazy" when she chases others. Jordan said she begged them to let her back in the game and a third girl said she was "unbanned," but the two original girls said that she was still banned. Jordan told me that she hoped she would not be banned the next day (and fortunately she wasn't). But I just don't think her "friends" should have excluded her in the first place. If they thought she was being crazy, IMO they should have said if she did not stop doing X (which I think is running wildly and saying, "Ahhh" in a non-inside voice), then she could not play with them.

The kicker came on Friday at lunchtime. Apparently the kids at her table were harassing Jordan because I packed her a bologna sandwich for lunch, and according to one of them, "you can eat meat only on Tuesdays and Thursdays during Lent." Another girl said that I must have forgotten that it was Lent because I packed her a sandwich with meat. And a third girl tried to take her sandwich away because "you should not be eating meat." [For those of you who are not Catholic, let me enlighten you: During Fridays in Lent only those 14 or older must abstain from meat (which rules out about 95 percent of the kids in Jordan's school, by the way).] Jordan apparently did her best to ignore the taunting, but when she returned from a restroom trip, she discovered that someone took the rest of her sandwich! She asked who took it, and amazingly none of the girls knew anything. So my kid was left without the rest of her lunch.

What is wrong with kids today, I ask? One day later, I am still angry. I have already spoken to the lunch monitor, who informed me that a couple other young kids who ate meat were also razzed, and she talked directly to that group, to set them straight. (She asked why Jordan did not tell her about what went on, and this goes back to one of my failings as a parent; I have taught her to over-respect authority, to a point where she is pretty much afraid of adults in those situations.)

This one I won't let go. I intend to stop in to see the principal on Monday to respectfully ask that she share the Lenten regulations with the kids in some way, preferably multiple times, because speaking from experience, I have had to give some of these kids instructions three or four times. I am not sure if parents have told the kids that they can't eat meat, either because they don't know the regulations or they are afraid their kids will rebel if they don't really have to abstain. But even if kids of all ages were to abstain, why make a kid feel bad for breaking the rule, especially when her parents are the ones packing her lunch. Do they think she should not eat?! Regardless of that, I have already copied the Lenten regulation and placed it in Jordan's lunchbox for her to share with these girls Monday. Too far?

I would love to hear what you have to say about any of this. I am really struggling with what to let go and what to pursue, something made all the more complicated by my subbing at my kid's school. Is it kids just being kids? Am I too thin-skinned (probably having flashbacks to my childhood?!)? Do I have an obligation as a parent and a teacher to put a stop to it because some of this is bullying? And does it make a difference that the school is private? Honestly, if I sent my kid to a public school, I feel certain I would let most everything go. But we are really sacrificing to send my kid to this school, and it is sadly becoming hard to justify.

Sigh.

I'm not even sure what to say about this (but that won't stop me from trying)

2011-03-02T12:55:00.000-05:00

Be forewarned: Keeping true to my blog title, the following is going to be quite rambling.

If you are reading this, you are probably aware of some of the crap that has been going on with actor Charlie Sheen. I have kept up with it because one of my Facebook "friends" is the P-G TV critic, and he has been regularly posting Charlie-related tweets on Facebook. I am also somewhat interested in the saga because I know people who have struggled with drug addiction, and I have seen firsthand what that stuff can do to you.

I can still see the scary face/eyes of someone I know when he was strung out, back about five years ago. Think of the darkest circles you have ever had under your eyes, and multiple that by 10. In fact, last year at the park, when a mother introduced me to her teenage son, he had the same look, and it scared the crap out of me. I wondered if I should say something to her, but ultimately decided not to, since I knew her only casually and worried I was wrong anyway.

I get how tough it can be to get off drugs. The person I spoke about above has tried multiple times, and the time before last remained clean for a year or two before falling back into the abyss. I hope this time it sticks, but statistics say chances are slim. So I certainly cannot believe that Charlie Sheen can pronounce he is drug-free, which he apparently was able to do in the comfort of his home, with the help of his two porn-star girlfriends, just like that. I watched over 30 minutes of a live interview with him Monday night, just to see if I could determine if he was high. Although his eyes seemed relatively normal, his behavior seemed erratic, like that of someone who was coming off a high. During an interview that was taped a few days prior, which aired last night, his eyes looked a little glassy to me. In both cases, he just seemed all over the place. Some have suggested he is bipolar/manic; I have no idea.

I don't care about Charlie Sheen, really. But as a parent, I do worry about his kids, including twin toddler boys, who were shown on TV along with his porn-star girlfriends. Charlie basically said that his kids will probably look up to him, and think he is a rock star. For the love of Pete, the man was bragging about having done enough drugs in one sitting that would have killed a "regular" person. And he really thinks because he is rich, famous, and having fun, that that is something his kids should be proud of? And let's face it; there are plenty of young, impressionable people out there who see this famous guy who everyone wants to interview, a guy who has survived massive amounts of drugs, a guy who has had many girlfriends and dalliances. Sadly, to some he probably is a hero.

I heard on the news this morning that his kids were taken away from him last night, at the request of his most recent ex-wife/mother of the twins. What does it say when the kids are better off with this woman, who has struggled with drugs herself and is apparently currently in day rehab?!

All that said, if you take the kids out of the picture, if this guy wants to risk his life, damage his health, whatever, it is none of my business really. And if he had been doing a good job on his show, then the powers-that be should have probably not ended the season early. The guy is not a teacher or a doctor!

Regardless, if he had been difficult to work with, had ever delayed production or showed up late more than once, that is different. And his saying negative things about his boss (assuming that Chuck Lorre is considered his boss) is also a pretty big no-no, even by Hollywood's standards, I would presume.

I don't know. Money and success often trump most everything else, including bad behavior. My guess is Charlie will probably "win" this one and ultimately continue to get TV and/or movie deals, a lot of money, and all the drugs he can probably do. Let's just hope when his flame goes out, he does not take down any innocent people with him.

I'm a Roman numeral!

2011-02-27T09:02:00.003-05:00

Last night, while my kid was (very slowly) getting ready for bed, she announced those words above. I was in the next room and had no clue what she was talking about, although the day before she asked me what V with three lines means (referring to VIII). So I walked into the hall to find Jordan standing in front of the full-length mirror, clearly pretending to wear a toga. I laughed out loud and said, "Oh, you are pretending to wear a toga. You are funny." Then Jordan asked if I was going to put that on Facebook. Of course I did (the exchange, not the picture). When I asked her today how she knows about togas and the Romans, she said she saw something about it awhile ago in a show called "Time Warp Trio." Good to see there are (or at least were) some educational cartoons out there (but for my money, "Phineas and Ferb" rules!).

Seven is an interesting age. My kid is so much more independent. She can actually play by herself for an hour or more (I realize a lot of kids much younger than she have probably been doing this since they were 4, but whatever). She has definite ideas about what she likes and does not. I am happy to say she is actually a pretty good Penguins fan (both the animal and the hockey team, and she manages to mesh the two at times). She did a book report on Penguins just before Christmas, and she wrote a small "Go Penguins!" sign, which she attached to a stuffed penguin that she has displayed in our front window along with a Pittsburgh Penguins sign she made. I thought it was great yesterday when we drove by a billboard with a picture of Penguin Evgeni Malkin and she knew it was he. When we were playing a game last night and she had a to pick a number between 1 and 20, she picked 18, "because I think that is Niskanen's number. I think Neal's is 2" (two players the Pens traded for just this week). She ended up having the numbers reversed, but what seven-year-old girl knows that? I don't even know all the "regular" Penguins' numbers, and I watch pretty much every game!

I will have to save our communion dress shopping for another post. But I will toss in the below pic of our first and hopefully last snowman this winter. The yard sure looks sad, but gappy grin and her silly snowman look just fine.

Jordan is sitting here right now leaning over my shoulder. I begged her last night to sleep in until 8. She ended up asleep until about 8:30 a.m., whereas I, still waking myself up with a cough one week later, woke up at 6:45 a.m. Grr. Anyway, she asked me not to write anything else about her. And because she is such a good reader, she is reading every word I type. I do have to say that Jordan has also become a good little writer. It is weird/cool to watch her write little notes and actually put sentiments in cards. Who knows? In a few years, maybe she will have a blog!

Hi! I'm Jordan!

(Editor's note: The above was written by Jordan, probably obviously, just before we headed downstairs for breakfast. Luckily, unlike most of her peers, she spends very little time on the computer, so she has no idea how to actually get to this blog to actually read it on her own. But in a few years...)

In conclusion, someone else should do the vacuuming.

2011-02-23T09:40:00.000-05:00

Have I mentioned on this very blog how much I hate vacuuming (I was never big on calling it "sweeping" as many other Pittsburghers do, FYI)? When I was pregnant with Jordan, it hurt my back too much to do the vacuuming (actually, I kind of did want to write/say "sweeping" there...), so Brian willingly took over. Fortunately, he got used to vacuuming, and he kept right on doing it the first five years of Jordan's life. Cue happy, serene music.

Now he typically was not as good as it as I was; he would rarely move easily movable furniture around. And he tended to break out the attachments to clean corners and ceilings only once a month. On a good month (he will beg to differ, I am sure). As a result, he was often done vacuuming our three levels in about 20 minutes, so it was not a big deal, really. But the important thing was I did not have to do that much dreaded chore.

Not surprisingly, soon after I was out of work, Brian handed the reigns (or, rather, the hose) back to me. Cue the depressing/evil music. As much as I hate grocery shopping, it is far, far better than vacuuming. At least with food shopping, there is food at the end. And we all know how much I love to eat. Plus I am practically obsessive about cutting coupons and combining them with sales, which often results in free or nearly so purchases. But vacuuming? Much like dusting, when you have a dog, it is something that after a couple of days looks as if you never did it to begin with. And when I vacuum, it typically takes me about 40 minutes or so, as I move things around and use various attachments to suck up dog hair and other junk And because our model is old and crappy, not only is it heavy (and therefore hurts my back every time I lug it up and down the stairs), but the suction is also not as good as it once was. Which means I often have to go back and forth over the same spot. I should also mention our crazy dog typically goes into full-on attack mode once the bulky machine is on. The vacuum is lucky to be standing as often as Sadie bites it.

On top of all that, I am about as graceful and coordinated as a someone who is not the least bit either of those. Lately, this has resulted in my hurting myself the past two weeks while vacuuming. Sounds crazy, I know, but it is true. Last week, I shoved one of our heavy dining room chairs into my calf while moving it to sweep underneath it (there, I said sweep). Then today, I somehow ran the stupid vacuum into the same calf. I have no idea how. I only know that I should probably get used to seeing purple and greenish marks on my legs as well as nagging leg pain.

Is a seven year old too young to vacuum?

Sometimes when one door closes, another closes right behind it

2011-02-18T09:41:00.001-05:00

Can I tell you, again, how much I hate the job search process?

I had a second interview scheduled for yesterday, for a temporary (about five months) full-time position. This potential job has been causing this household stress because although so far it is the best-paying job I have come close to, once I have to start paying for childcare this summer, we will most likely come up a little short. Of course, the optimist in me figured we would somehow work out the money situation (maybe Jordan would stay home one or two days a week since Brian works from home). And as I said to hubby, coming away with some money is better than nothing (since I obviously cannot sub this summer). Plus this job could end up becoming permanent (the woman I would be taking over for is going on maternity leave, so you never know). But I would be working full time, something I had not done since the day before Jordan was born. And juggling drop off and pick up, plus Jordan's many school days off, would further complicate things.

So I fretted about this job, wondering what I would do if I were actually offered it. Then, out of the blue, I received a call from someone in the state government. Back in the beginning of January, I applied online to work for the Corbett administration, and two days ago, a woman left me a message, seeing if I would be interested in coming in for an interview. The catch was I would have to relocate. As has been clearly established here and elsewhere, I hate moving; I would rather give birth without drugs again than go through that headache. Unfortunately, the woman I spoke with did not give me any idea of the pay (I did not come right out and ask, since that is a job-hunting no-no, but I probably should have made an exception). In fact, she told me very little about the job, other than I would be a press secretary fielding media inquiries and writing press releases (working in some "state office," not for the governor).

Ultimately, I decided not to drive to Harrisburg for the interview; I just could not see uprooting the family for a job that probably did not pay well and that would most likely last only a few years, assuming I would even get the job (if the interview would have been local, I definitely would have gone). I did ask that she keep my information on file in case something closer to home or another opportunity comes up. My guess is that door is closed, which I regret somewhat. (It is amusing to note that my mom suggested rather than move, I make the six-hour commute during the week, because I would be "driving on the turnpike"!)

Then a mere two hours after that brief phone call, I receive a call informing me that my interview that afternoon for the temp position has been canceled because the company is on a hiring freeze. Sigh.

On the one hand, I felt a slight sense of relief because the predicaments noted above. But on the other hand, I had a good feeling about the job, and I was actually looking forward to being back in an office. And for the love of Pete, I went from two potential jobs to zero in just two hours. Sigh. Again.

Hubby thinks I should find an evening/weekend job (i.e., a minimum-wage position in retail, grocery, etc.), which would eliminate the need for child care. But as a college-educated person who wants to spend as much time as possible with her kid who is home on the evenings and weekends, this is not the least bit appealing. I realize this makes me kind of selfish (actually hubby helped me realize this ;-), but in these times one should do whatever is necessary to help support the family.

So there you have it. Sorry to whine, complain, and ramble on and on. But it is what it is. At least the optimist in me is sure things will work out eventually. Hey, it is almost 60 degrees in February, so there is that.

All is well that ends well (or Still wanting to make a difference)

2011-02-16T10:30:00.000-05:00

As I have mentioned before, I put some thought into my blog post titles. Sometimes I try to make them witty (so I like to think) or at least interesting. I read about a half dozen or so blogs on a regular basis (meaning I check them most days of the week), and I read another half dozen or so when I am willing to spend the time (probably more like once per week or less often). On top of those, I sometimes check out the blogs that other people link to. And what gets me to click on that link is an interesting (to me, anyway) post title. I don't care so much about getting a lot of people to read my blog; I write it for myself. But I am not going to lie. I find it satisfying, gratifying, something-fying when I see that people have actually stopped by to read my blog and especially to post comments, particularly when I have written something that I am hoping someone will either testify to or at least make me feel better. And I often wonder what makes those people, aside from my "regulars," check out my blog.

But I digress, as usual. Most of the time, I want my post titles to mean something. If I have an idea for a post, then I want my title to reflect that. Sometimes, however, my posts starts in one direction and end up going in a completely different one. As a result, my title will either not make too much sense, I will have to change the title, or I will just abandon the post for now. This probably should have been one of those posts.

Today's post, aside from that explanation above, is about my substitute teaching this week. Monday was a rough day. The kind of day that made me think that God is trying to give me a really obvious sign that I am not meant to teach. I am just not so good at gaining or keeping control of the bigger classrooms. In one of the classes, a few boys who are normally quiet and do not join in the disrespectful antics of a half dozen others, actually did just that. I know their moms pretty well, so I was surprised and disappointed. I sent a couple of kids to the front of the room at different times (something I know some of the teachers do), and it did not do much good. Later in the day, I had another large class of which at least a dozen would not stop talking. The kids had Valentine's Day parties starting only 15 minutes into the period, and when the time came, I refused to let them go. Their teacher came to get them, and I told her until they could all be quiet, they were going nowhere. It took over five minutes for every single child to stop talking, stop coughing, stop giggling, etc. When I heard complete silence for five seconds, I told them to go, because I really could not see the silence lasting much longer and I was afraid that they would never leave!

I felt like a failure at the end of the day, and really did not want to come back the next day, which I was scheduled to do. But, of course, I did. Because "tomorrow is a new day" has become my teaching (i.e., forgiveness/moving on) mantra. And yesterday was better. I still had some problem kids. Students who just cannot seem to stop talking when I am. It does not matter if I stand there in silence waiting for others to do the same, if I raise my voice, if I turn off the lights, or do something else. There are just kids who, as unfathomable to me as it is, just don't stop talking and/or fooling around. And I know part of the problem is the large classes of 28. That is just too many kids, especially, sadly, the way a number of today's kids act.

But the day ended up okay overall. I did my best to encourage the kids as much as I could in gym class. I pointed out bad behavior as I saw it, and I let some things go because quite frankly, I have no idea how to deal with some of these kids. I won't give up on most of those, but I also have to be glad I have the ones who seem to respect and listen to me. Sometimes hearing a kid say she is glad I am here, or getting a hug from someone is enough to outweigh the other stuff.

I am not ready to throw in the towel yet. I still really, truly want to make a difference in at least some kids' lives. I want to teach them as best as I can, and I want as many of them to learn from me as possible. I am not sure if this is what I am "meant" to do. But for now, until something else comes along, or God gives me a few more obvious signs, this is what I am going to do.

But, alas, tomorrow's interview, in a complete different field, for temporary, but full time (something I have not done since the summer of 2003) work, might end up changing all that.

For now, let's just go with all is well that ends well.

It's like deja-vu (or Sometimes we protect them from the wrong things)

2011-02-12T21:03:00.001-05:00

Last night, there was some turbulence in our house, for lack of a better word. The impetus was food (and actually not my cooking, surprisingly). Things were said, and I eventually got so mad that I left. Drove away. After first telling my kid that I loved her and kissing her good bye.

Up until I was a senior in high school, my parents almost never fought. From the time I was born (or from the time I could actually start remembering things) until I was in my mid teens, I recall only three fights my parents had. They seemed pretty bad at that time, and I still remember a few details from each, but the other thousands upon thousands of days of my life, my parents were pretty happy together. We had a really great family life. Unfortunately, things started to go a little south my senior year in high school before getting worse my freshman year of college. I actually don't remember things being as bad my sophomore year, but that was the last year my parents were together, so...

Why am I telling you this, you may ask? Don't worry; I am not about to drop a bomb on you. I was just thinking about this in comparison to Jordan's childhood. She has seen Brian and me argue more than we should, and I hate it. But unfortunately, I seem to have to be right most of the time (which is because I am right most of the time!), and Brian feels the same way, so, as you can imagine, it is hard for either of us just to let the other "win." And although I am not a typical woman in so many ways, I am pretty standard in one way--I won't let things go. If Brian says nothing is bothering him, well, of course, I have to drag it out of him.

Anyway, after two and a half hours of my being gone and wishing I had a friend who lived close enough whom I could have visited, rather than drive around endlessly (I did actually spend an hour on the treadmill at the pool watching a crazy Pens game). And after one and a half of those same hours of my being angry and resentful (couldn't he have called to make sure I was not in a ditch somewhere?!), I came home, not because I was ready to, but because my kid wanted me to kiss her good night.

As I read to her just before tuck in, I told her that I might not be there tomorrow, but I loved her very much and that that was not going to change. She asked where I was going to go, and I said I was not sure, but I again said that I loved her. At that moment, I considered going to my mom's empty house, but I was fairly sure I was probably not going to go anywhere; I was still angry, just saying things, and mostly wanting Brian to hear me say those things. But Jordan seemed fine, as far as I could tell. And Brian and I talked things through, once again saying that we need to stop arguing in front of our kid. Now, please don't thing we do this all the time, but I just think more than a few times a year is probably too much (and we have a ways to go to get there). I don't know, though. I have a friend who is on the verge of getting a divorce who said she and her husband have never once fought in front of their kids. When it finally happens, I have to imagine it will be shocking for those children.

But I digress. Early this morning, Jordan came into my room, crying because she had a bad dream. She told me she dreamed that she had a different family and she kept trying to find me, but she couldn't. It broke my heart. I felt so bad for saying the night before that I was maybe not going to be there the next day, which was on top of the argument she witnessed. I assured her she would never have another family, and I was not going anywhere (for a little levity I did ask her if her other mom was prettier than I, but she said she could not remember what the mom looked like).

So what have I learned from this and what is my point, really? Well, I wanted to get this off my chest because, as I have blogged about before, I don't want to pretend to be someone I am not. This is who I am. I love my husband. He loves me. But we have some definite differences. And we argue more than we should. The stress of my not working much has been getting to us. And I have another interview for another job next week, a job that will complicate things because of the hours and the pay. But I also wanted to get this down because my memory is not that great, and I want to use this as a reminder that I have a small person to think about. What I (we) do affects her more than I realize. And maybe I should worry more about that than trying to protect her from things that probably don't matter as much as I think.

Sigh.

You can't win 'em all.

2011-02-08T10:06:00.000-05:00

I heard today on the Fan radio station that it takes some people weeks to get over a big loss like the Super Bowl. I don't think even in my most devoted, fanatic days it took me more than a few days, thankfully.

When the game ended on Sunday night, I was fine. Really. Honestly, I had felt a little guilty throughout the game, thinking how it is kind of unfair that the Steelers were in the Super Bowl for the third time in six years, and that they (we!) had won it two times in four years. Shouldn't someone else get a turn? Of course, that is not how it works. Life is not always fair. Clearly I should never coach or own a sport teams. Etc., etc., etc.

But I went to bed happy for the Packers. Unfortunately, I woke up once in the middle of the night, remembering that the Steelers lost, and I felt a little sad. When I woke up for good the next morning, after 7:30 a.m., thanks to that stupid two-hour delay, I thought about the "things always look better in the morning" phrase and decided that things, in fact, did NOT look better today. My team lost.

But here it is Tuesday morning, and I feel okay. It is just a game. There is always next year. The Pens still have a few more months to play and should be in the playoffs, hopefully taking it pretty far (maybe even all the way). I would say that baseball season is almost here, but I gave up hope for a winning season a decade ago. Maybe someday. Like when I am a senior citizen.

Anyway, I will end this post with two clips of the National Anthem, of which I am a big fan. I know a lot of people are not. It is hard to sing; the range is broad and high. But I have sung that baby hundreds of times (and for many years it was my dream to sing it at Steelers game as the performer). I proudly sing it during sporting events, even though not many people around me do the same. And I have sung it in my car more times than I could count. Even Jordan knows the words. In fact, I have a CD of Whitney Houston singing it, from the 1991 Super Bowl. That was the best version, in my opinion, though others have also done a good job.

Here is the clip. Sure, she dressed oddly (did people really dress like that in the '90s?), and apparently she did not sing it live (Christina, please take note!). But I find it so moving, and best of all, there were very few theatrics. I don't mind an extra high or sustained note or two, but anything beyond that ruins the song, in my opinion.

The other version I want to share pretty much goes against what I just said above. I don't remember hearing the Dixie Chicks perform this back in 2003. It may be because I was bitter about the Steelers losing to Tennessee in the playoffs so perhaps I did not watch it. Or maybe I watched it begrudgingly because I was not a fan of that groups for a couple of reasons so I blocked it out. But Yahoo recently ranked the best Super Bowl National Anthem performances and put these gals in first place. I have to say that I like it. It is a bit over the top, but to hear it sung in three-part harmony is something.

Before I end, I have to get one dig in on Christina. Also on the Fan radio station this morning, I heard Paul Alexander say that Christina blamed Bruce Arians for not giving her the right words or making her mess up. Now that was funny.

Have a great week. We'll be back again.

Obviously I am a big Steelers fan, but...

2011-02-05T17:02:00.000-05:00

Two Steelers-related things are on my mind, and not in a good way, I am afraid.

First, my kid's school (as well as the city schools and others, I am sure) is on a two-hour delay Monday. Found this out last evening. Why? Well, because of the Steelers game. It may have to do with administrators' concern that kids will have stayed up late and thus be too tired to learn anything. A few parents said they heard it was because bus drivers might be hungover. One or two suggested that it might be for the teachers and parents as well.

Here are my thoughts on that matter:

The game should be over around 10. My guess is that the majority of the kids who will stay up to watch the game don't go to bed much earlier than that anyway. And for those who normally go to bed earlier? They probably will be okay staying up a little later for one night. If not, then parents should not let them stay up for it. Jordan certainly won't be up past halftime, mostly because she does not care enough about the game.
If it is true that there is concern about hungover bus drivers, maybe those people should not have their jobs. For the love of Pete, you are responsible for the lives of kids. You would risk that by coming to work drunk or badly hungover? When the Steelers were in SB XXX in 1995, I was a teacher. I went to a party the night of, acted responsible, and managed to get up, drive the 30 minutes to my job, and arrive by 8 a.m. And I was single and childless then. Another single and childless (non-Steeler) SB year, I was not my most responsible self the night of, but I went in to work late the next day and felt not the best, knowing I could do both (i.e., I had the time and flexibility to take off and I was responsible for commas and periods, not people).
If you are a parent who is responsible to get your kid up for school and particularly to take them to school, then you have to consider that the night before. If you plan on overimbibing, then I suggest you pay a sitter or ask a relative or friend to help out the next day. As a parent, there was no way I was going to throw down a half dozen drinks during the previous SBs; I knew I had a preschooler (SB XL) and a kindergartner (SB XLIII) to worry about the next day. It is called being a responsible parent.
And what about the parents who don't get to be late for their jobs? What are they supposed to do? It is challenging enough to scramble during a two-hour delay for weather. I can't imagine having an hourly job and telling my boss I was going to be late because my kid had a two-hour Steeler delay.
In general, I am just disappointed that the kids are going to miss out on two hours of learning for football (they don't have to make up two-hour delays). What does this say about our priorities?

The other Steelers-related thing on my mind concerns some kids at City High who were suspended for wearing Steelers-specific attire to school, against the dress code. You can read the details here.

Here are my thoughts on that matter:

The students should have respected the "corporate casual "dress code, which, according to the principal, would have included wearing black and gold, just not jerseys. Rules are rules, and this school is not a "regular" public school to begin with; it is a charter school.
The students admitted that they were donning Steelers attire as a senior prank. Surely they were expecting consequences for pulling a prank.
The only thing I don't fully support is the suspension. I have no problem with their being punished in some way, but, obviously, I am not a fan of kids' missing school. One kid even said he was happy they did not have school on Monday as a result of the suspension. Not good.

So what are your thoughts? Am I being too uptight? Looking on the bright side (because I am trying to come up with optimistic thoughts, remember), at least the kids should, in theory, be safe come Monday thanks to the delay. And I will get to sleep in. And as for the kids who got in trouble for their Steelers gear, hopefully they will learn a lesson.

Still, go Steelers!

Looking up

2011-02-03T22:33:00.001-05:00

I don't mean literally looking up, though it has been nice to look up and see the sun in the sky for at least a couple of hours these past few days.

I read a blurb in Parents magazine about a study some Dutch scientists conducted regarding optimism. I don't know too many of the details (it was just a short paragraph, after all), just that according to their research, people who are optimistic have a 30 percent lower rate of dying from heart disease than their pessimistic counterparts. According to the mag, to help this optimism along, you should try to think of one happy or positive thing that happened to you each day.

Many years ago (maybe 10), a former coworker/current friend and I made ourselves come up with five happy thoughts each day. I think we tired of that after a couple of days, or maybe we just ended up being redundant, so we stopped. But the concept is a good one. In fact, most days I try to think of all the good I have in my life, even when I feel down. When I go to sleep each night, unless I fall asleep as soon as I turn out the lights (which sometimes happens) or unless I have some heavy worries on my mind, I make it a point to thank God for all He has given me. But even if you are not religious, surely you can find something positive.

This week, I was rejected for that job I interviewed for two weeks ago. Sure, that was a letdown, but looking on the bright side, I can tell myself the pay was going to be low and once Jordan was off for the summer, I would not have much left after paying for child care.

Today I received my long-awaited letter from Geico. Remember that fun power surge my neighborhood had Christmas Day 2009? Geico finally received everyone's information and they are ready to dole out the prorated money. Our damages were about $525. We will end up with $40 after we jump through another hoop or two. It is a paltry amount, but we paid for everything over a year ago, so I have to look at it as found money.

Another sub at school is called in to sub more than I am, and I cannot seem to get a straight answer as to why. But because she, not I, got the nod today, I was able to meet some friends for the Steeler rally downtown, much as these same friends and I did two years ago the last time the Steelers were in the Super Bowl.

And speaking of that, two years ago, these two friends and I were all working at the same place, appreciating having a steady income and flexibility (at least I know I was). Now the three of us (and others) are elsewhere as a result of downsizing. But the good news is that they both work downtown and I was not teaching today, so we were able to spend that hour or so together, cheering along with many others in the frigid temps (but sunny skies).

And, yes, the Super Bowl. It is amazing and exciting that the Steelers are going back to the big dance for the third time this decade. Of course I hope they win. As has been established either here or on Facebook, that victory will make my buying Brian's birthday present super easy. But if the Steelers don't prevail, I can tell myself that they already have won more games than any other team.

But here's hoping that come Sunday night at around 10 p.m., I won't have to look on the bright side for that one...

Here we go!